|A Day without Killing|
Fuck! Why now!?
|Written by||YoshiRocker13 & Alpha-Lonewolf|
|Other episodes by the author|
A Day with Rapper
Fed up with Wolf killing random people, Fox dares Wolf to stop killing for at least one day. However something goes horribly wrong
- Wolf (antagonist)
- Red (semi-antagonist)
- Bruce (antagonist)
- Mr. Dingleberry
- Auto-Tuned Bee (cameo)
- Street Gang
- Rival Gang
- Old People
(Wolf and Fox were taking a stroll through the park)
Fox: Isn't this nice just to walk in the park without any worries or conflict? Just peaceful, quiet...
(Several loud shots were heard. Fox turns to see Wolf holding out two smoking magnums and several dead people and cats on the ground)
Wolf: Sorry, when I heard the words peace and quiet, I had to kill something.
Wolf: Don't worry, it was just some hobos and cats.
Fox: Well I'll admit the park will be more clean, but that's besides the point.
Wolf: You mean this one?
(runs through a preformer with a sword)
Wolf: He was casting a spell at me.
Fox: He was a mime.
Wolf: Oops. I should probably send his family a gift package.
Fox: Well what could get any worse than THIS?
Rapper: (walks in) Sup guys?
Wolf: Aah! (shoots Rapper)
Wolf: What? I'm always in defense whenever I'm surprised.
Fox: You just killed Rapper! Can't you bring him back with your defibrillators?
Wolf: (laughs nervously) I sold them to buy a new Xcube 7000
Wolf: Don't worry, I'll get them back.
Fox: What? By killing the store manager?
Wolf: How did you even know?
Fox: (face palms angrily) You know what Wolf!? You need to STOP!
Wolf: Stop? Stop what? (shoots another man)
Fox: Stop That! stop killing random people. what if I happen to be one of them?
Wolf: I have an extra sense to tell if it's you.
Fox: That's besides the point. (Comes up with an idea) Look I'll make you a deal. You stop killing people for one day and I promise to distract Fifi from you for a whole three months.
Wolf: (perks up) You really mean that!?
Fox: Of course. Only if you can stop killing for at least for one day.
Wolf: (Thinks about and grins)
Fox: Aaand not harming anyone.
Wolf: DAMN IT!
Fox: But I'm not done. If you kill someone on that day, you have to stop killing for one week.
Wolf: Damn it! Well it can't be too bad to go a day without killing
Fox: Good luck Wolf. (walks away laughing)
(the next day Wolf is walking down the street and runs into Broseph)
Wolf: What up Bromo?
Broseph: Wow Wolf. This doesn't really sound like you. Every time you see me you kill me!
Wolf: thats not true, i didn't kill you when we had that contest.
Broseph: Well that makes it better. (suddenly Wolf sees a Street Artist and his eye twitches) Aren't you going to kill that bra?
Wolf: Urgh. I wish i could. even if I could just break their legs and watch them squirm
Broseph: Are feeling okay bro?
Wolf: (grits teeth) I'm Fine!
Broseph: Seriously bro, (shoots the street artists from behind) you ALWAYS kill those dudes.
Wolf: Look I am trying to not kill for one day so Fox could get Fifi off my back for three months!
Broseph: Fox uh? how is the foxy lady?
Wolf: (Pulls out his knives threatening to kill broseph) Don't tempt me!
Broseph: Ah ah ah. No killing remember?
Wolf: How about if I break every limb on your body instead and bath in your screams of agony?
Broseph: (eyes widen) Uh how about not? (runs off and grins) This will be fun! (Broseph enters Red & Blue's apartment but he is greeted by Red's fist)
Red: let me give you the fist greeting of the day!
Broseph: Bro! You have to listen to this! (whispers words in Red's ears and Red smiles)
Red: Seriously!? (laughs)
Broseph: so you in bra?
Red: To pull pranks on Wolf!? FUCK YEAH! (shakes Broseph's hand but punches him again)
(Wolf is shown in the park under a tree holding some dolls while Broseph & Red peek from behind a tree)
Broseph: So what's our first prank?
Red: I can't choose from so many
Blue: Guys what are you doing here?
Broseph: We're pulling pranks on Wolf! And the best part is if he harms us he has to stop killing for a WEEK!
Red: All thanks to sexy foxy.
Blue: What!? are you guy retardidly crazy!?
Red: Aw come on Blue, what's Wolf going to do about it?
Blue: I'm guessing the next day you two will be DEAD!
Wolf: (All three peek out at Wolf playing with two dolls and starts to act out the Broseph doll) Oh hello Wolf what's wrong you can't kill people today? (acts out Wolf Doll) Oh yes, but tomorrow I can kill anyone I want.. (gives Wolf doll a real knife and slowly cuts the Broseph doll down the middle) (acts out Wolf doll) Let me hear your screams of suffering while I drink your blood to calm my soul. (Imitates blood screams sounding like Broseph)
Blue: See what I mean?
Red: Oh shit
Broseph: Shit! We already-
(Wolf stands up he accidentally slips on a banana peel and falls in mud causing Red & Broseph to hold in their laughter)
Wolf: WHO'S SOUNDS OF LAUGHTER DO I HEAR!?!?
Red: Shit! RUN!!!
Wolf: (sees some kids laughing at him) FEAR ME!!! shoots a flamethrower over their heads and shoots near their feet with a 50 cal sniper rifle)
Fox: (sees Wolf) WOLF!
Wolf: What!? I didn't kill them I just scared the shit out of them see?
(shows kids unharmed but traumatized)
Fox: I ALSO said not to HARM anyone!
Wolf: they aren't harmed just scared.
Fox: (points at Wolf) Watch it buddy! (walks away leaving Wolf pissed)
Red: (looks on) Shit, I've never seen Fox this fucking mad!
Blue: Maybe I should speak to Fox. (walks away)
Broseph: (laughs) Nice!
Red: Just where the balls are you going, ass!?
Broseph: To have more fun.
(Wolf Starts to think of a loop hole through the deal)
Wolf: Okay Fox won't let me kill, hurt, or use weapons to kill. what can i do? (thinks hard and comes up with a plan)
Auto-tune Bee: It's a bad idea mother fucka!
Wolf: (Smashes the bee) Shut up beeatch!
(Fox is seen in her house looking angry and Blue knocks on her door)
Blue: Fox, can I talk to you for a moment?
Fox: (tries to calm herself while talking to Blue) What is it Blue?
Blue: Alright It's about Wolf.
Fox: He's got to learn how to control his random killing
Blue: Look Fox, this bet you dared Wolf probably won't end well I mean sooner or later he's gonna do something stupid! You gotta call off the bet.
Fox: it's not that easy. He will try to go through with the dare in order for me to take care of Fifi and he won't stop until he wins.
Blue: Well Fox (sighs) Soon you'll regret it (walks out)
Fox: (talks to herself) I already have.
Wolf: Okay lets try this. Hey kid!
Kid: Yes mister?
Wolf: (raises his voice at the kid) You are a pathetic waste of life that your parents wished they had placed in a garbage disposal and feed to the swine. you have no future cuz your family and friends hate you.
Kid: (is about to cry)
Wolf: You know running in front of a train will make you feel better.
(kid runs into a train)
Wolf: Ah, that felt as good as actually killing.
Blue: Wolf! What the fuck was that!?
Wolf: Oh hey Blue.
Blue: (gets angry) Alright Wolf what did you do to make that kid run into a train!?
Wolf: Oh well i told him he was garbage and other sorts of things and boom, dead, but not by my hands or weapons.
Wolf: What? the dare was that "I" didn't kill anyone. not that they couldn't kill themselves so all is fair.
Blue: Oh God.
Wolf: hey look old people! this will be fun.
Blue: Wolf! Don't do it!
Wolf: who's gonna stop me, you the Smurf? I didn't think so. Hey oldies!
Mr. Dingleberry: It's Wolf! Run! (the oldies try running but walk instead)
Wolf: Wait a minute, i'm not going to kill you.
Mr. Dingleberry: Oh really? then what do you want?
Wolf: Just a talk. (after an hour of ranting personal insults and cold facts of life) ...and that's why you's be better off sleeping in a coffin buried in a cemetary.
Mr. Dingleberry: Meh, okay. (walks off)
Old man: well i guess you're right. come on lets go to the cemetary. (the group of old people walk off)
Street Gang Member #1: Hey Look! There's the douche! GET HIM! (the members begin punching and kicking Wolf getting pissed)
Blue: Wolf! Don't kill them! Remember the bet?
Wolf: I got something better. (pulls out sedative darts and paralyzes street gang) see not one dead
Blue: (sighs and looks at watch) Alright Wolf the day's almost over! You got 1 hour left to not kill anyone! AND harm anyone!
Wolf: (gets street gangs phone and makes a call with the street gang's voice impression) Hola puto. you tacos can suck my taqitos. come try to find me in this street if you can. I also fucked yo sister. (hangs up) I won't but their rival gang will.
Street Gang: YOU! You made that call puto!
Wolf: who's gonna believe you, your rival gang when they find you? I don't think so. (leaves)
Rival Gang: (finds the street gang) Hola putos. You fuck our sister? (rival Gang pull out guns) Our guns fuck you! (Starts shooting the street gang)
Wolf: (Walking along with Blue) you see blue? I am just too clever.
Blue: (facepalms) Guess you can smart out Fox. (they run into Fox & Red)
Red: Sup Dicks?
Wolf: Sup Cock?
Blue: Hi Fox.
Red: Why are you looking at Fox's boobs Blue?
Blue: What? No! Pink is still going to be my girlfriend!
Fox: Red stop it i know Blue woudn't intentionally do that unlike you. Now can you stop looking at my boobs?
Red: but they're so beautiful.
Blue: Fox, you won't believe what Wolf did.
Wolf: Blue let me tell. it's more fun that way.
Fox: (angry) What?
(after 5 minutes, Wolf is done speaking with Fox and she looks pissed)
Wolf: So you see the dare was that I didn't kill anyone. it didn't say anything about people killing themselves.
Wolf: Hey you can't blame me for leaving a loop hole in the deal so I am still in the clear to win this bet.
Red: You are da man bro!
Blue: Well Wolf you got 5 minutes left
Wolf: Looks like the Alpha Wolf wins again.
Blue: Oh wait a minute my watch is running fast. (turns it to right time) You actually have 20 minutes left to go.
Wolf: Awsome! enough time to go have Fifi kill herself! i hope Bruce won't mind. (runs to find Fifi)
Red: Hey wait for me! I want to make people kill theirselves too!
Blue: (facepalms) Oh brother.
Bruce: Fifi! Will you stop playing with my hair!?
Wolf: hey Fifi!
Wolf: There is a cookie on all those speeding freight trains coming.
Fifi: (jumps in the tracks) Give me cookies!
(train hits Fifi and splatters her on impact)
Wolf and Red: WOO! THAT WAS AWESOME!!!
Bruce: YOU ASSHOLES!!!! YOU KILLED MY CRUSH!!!!!
Wolf: Don't worry and watch.
Fifi: (pops back) Aw i missed the cookie.
Red: Don't worry all those other speeding trains have cookies to.
Fifi: YAY!!! (starts running, splattering, and popping back when ever she tries to stop a train while Wolf and Red laugh histerically)
Bruce: (cries) You assholes! (reaches for his gun) (talks to himself) Don't do it yet Bruce.
Red: Hey Look Fifi! There's a load of cookies on the next train!
Fifi: Yay! (splatters again when she tried to stop the train)
Red: (laughs hysterically) That was good!
Wolf: it's like watching porn, you just can't look away.
Bruce: (losing temper) Those assholes! (pulls out gun moving slowly)
Red: (lies) Look! Cookie train!
Red: There! (points to a cookie with cookie decorations)
Fifi: Give me all the cookies! (suddenly trains from all directions collide into her)
Red & Wolf: (laugh hysterically)
Bruce: (turns red and shoots Red's head) ASS!!! (pulls out chainsaw) YOU ARE NEXT WOLF!!!
Wolf: (pulls out own chainsaw) I "saw" you first. (Wolf clashes saws with Bruce)
Blue: Wolf! Your not suppose to kill!! (runs off and finds Fox)
Wolf: I'm not i'm just sparring!
Blue: (finds Fox) Fox! There's something I gotta tell you!
Fox: What did Wolf do now?
Blue: You know how you said Wolf wasn't allowed to kill or harm anyone? Well he just killed Bruce and he only had 2 minutes left!! And he and Red tortured Fifi!
Fox: He WHAT!?
(Fox and Blue run back to see Bruce and Wolf still fighting with chainsaws)
Wolf: Come on Bruce Wayne, i can fight with a blind fold and having a grandma holding the chainsaw.
Bruce: Come on fool! Give me your best shot!
(Bruce proceeds to slice Wolf but Wolf crouches to dodge the attack and slices Bruce in half from the balls)
Blue: Wolf! (looks at watch) And you only had 10 seconds to go!
Wolf: Shit! this is a real problem for me accept for one thing.
Red: (pops up) You busted now buddy!
Wolf: that would be... If it wasn't an hour subtracted daylight saving blue balls. Woo! (starts a victory dance) I'm a killer and i know it!
Blue: So....... does this mean Wolf won the bet?
Fox: yes... yes he does.
Wolf: Suck my Gun Hoe dick Bruce! (tea bags Bruce)
Red: My turn! (tea bags Bruce next)
Blue: (eyes widen) Let's get out of here.
(after ending, Fifi is seen still running into trains and splatters on impact only to pop back again)
-Episode REALLY Ends-