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A Goddamn Interview
Season Special, Episode 1
SPECIAL 1. A Goddamn Interview
Air date 1/6/13
Written by MDKid663 and IONIX
Episode guide
Spark Gets Lucky
Let's Have a Change



(Nicole walks into the interview room.)

Nicole: The hell is this microphone shit?

Interviewer: This is an interview with the NSFW Tales crew.

Nicole: Oh, great.

(Damon walks into the interview room)

Damon: I can't believe I'm doing this.

Interviewer: So Damon, how many times do you have sex per day?

Damon: Just once.

Interviewer: Your sex is one take?

Damon: Well I lived in hell for a pretty long time, I kinda have this huge crush on Alpha-Lonewolf's OC Let. You know, lust is a sin.

Interviewer: Okay, you're boring. Next!

(Damon slaps his forehead)

Damon: Jesus christ. (Shawn walks into the interview room)

Interviewer: Hey doggie-dick! How's sex out on the set?

Shawn: It's like bestiality except I'm half-breed.

Interviewer: So, how's Nicole working out for ya?

Shawn: Nicole? She's kinda a fine lady when you get to know her.

Interviewer: Nice! You're very gentlemanly.

Shawn: I know, I know. I get that lot, and I have a mature personality too.

Interviewer: Well, it's been nice seeing you. Next!

Oboes: Hi!

(The interviewer starts sweating.)

Interviewer: So Oboes, how's Spark going out for you?

Oboes: He's pretty cool! He's actually very nice. I had to fight Jess for him, and of course I won.

Spark: (off-screen) She's still my girlfriend you know!

Oboes: *sigh* I know! You're just my fuck-buddy!

Interviewer: And how does actress work out for you?

Oboes: It's kinda hard...they keep on putting me in slutty dresses, and sometimes it gets annoying.

Interviewer: I see, I see. And how are the sex scenes?

Oboes: Oh man, fucking amazing. I haven't had sex like what I had out there in YEARS.

Interviewer: And you're thinking about having it again?

Oboes: Hell yeah!

Interviewer: Of course, and how is Spark enjoying your uh- (looks at Oboes' breasts and blushes)

Spark: (off-screen) Hey Oboes! Is she looking at your boobs again!?

Oboes: Yeah. Can you come in here?

Spark: I'm on it (walks into the room)

(Spark smacks the interviewer)

Interviewer: What the fuck!?

Spark: You got distracted so I HAVE to do something.

Interviewer: I'm sorry! They're just so hypnotizing...anyway, Next!

(Retro comes in along with Georgia)

Interviewer: Hello you two! How's working with the NSFW Tales crew doing for ya?

Retro: It's pretty awesome actually, and I met some cool people also.

Interviewer: And you, Georgia? Georgia: It's pretty cool. I actually have boobs now, so that's a plus.

Retro: Yeah. (laughs nervously)

Interviewer: Do either of you feel nervous having sex with one another?

Retro: Well... Let's just say sometimes.

Georgia: I'm usually not that nervous. It's not like sex is something I haven't done before.

Retro: Yeah, It's true. Even though I spewed out blood when I got a blowjob for a long time.

Interviewer: Okay! That's enough, next!

(Retro stares at Georgia's breasts)

Georgia: You'll get 'em later.

(Eleven walks into the interview room) Eleven: ......

Interviewer: ......?

Eleven: .....

(Eleven walks off-screen, consuming people and walks back in his perfect form)

Eleven: So what do you wanna tell me?

Interviewer: So, how was Suzan?

Eleven: She's one sexy zombie lady I'll tell you that, I kinda feel stupid for exploding her though.

Interviewer: Oh, she's fine. Zombies can't actually die.

Eleven: Really? (thinks) Oh yeah. That's true.

Interviewer: Well, it's been nice having yo- (She looks out the window to see no more interviewees.) Interviewer: Oh yeah, you ate everybody.

Eleven: (shakes in rage) Still, I'm going to make Wolf pay for trapping me inside his hat.

Interviewer: Uh, okay...well, it's been fun interviewing can leave now.

Eleven: Hold on, you didn't have Amy yet.

Interviewer: I thought you ate her!

(Amy slides out of Eleven's throat.)

Amy: H-h-help...M-m-eee...!

Eleven: I didn't, she's over there. (points to Amy eating pizza)

Amy: Hey.

Interviewer: Then...who the fuck was that?

Eleven: (spits out Amy) Sorry.

Amy: Dude, what do you eat?

(The other Amy turns into another Eleven, showing to be a clone)

Interviewer: What the fuck...

(She jumps out of her chair and walks out of the room.)

Interviewer: I'm done. Outie, bitches.

(She slams the door, locking Eleven in.)

(The Eleven's leave as Spark enters the room)

Spark: Fuck, Am I late?

Eleven: (realizes) What the fuck!?

Spark: What?

Spark: So what's questions do I got?

Eleven: you like Oboes?

Spark: Well, as a friend but I still love Jess.

Eleven: Okay...did you...enjoy having sex with all those fine women?

Spark: Fuck yeah! Even it was my dark form.

(Oboes climbs out of Eleven's throat.)

Oboes: We can do that anytime, baby.

Spark: Yeah.

(Oboes kicks down the door, as Spark and Oboes start making out, and leave the room.)

Eleven: Goddammit.

(Violet comes into the room)

Eleven: It's over. You can leave.

(She leaves.)

Eleven: Are we done here?

Mdkid663, ionixmusic: Yes, you can leave.

Eleven: Finally.

(He walks out the door, and shuts it behind him.)

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