A New Orange
Air date 6-13-14
Written by Df Red or Blue & AndrewBrauer
Directed by Df Red or Blue
Location River
Other episodes by the author

Day With A Dick


 Little Blue and Jade have to pick up a man with SERIOUS mental issues.


(Opens with Little Blue and Jade waiting for the bus)

Little Blue: So this note told us to pick up somebody. I have no idea who.

Jade: Well then, I'm sure your glad I came just in case your about to be killed.

Little Blue: Yeah. (the bus pulls up) Let's go get this guy, got a knife?

Jade: (Pulls out a combat knife) Yeah? Plus I got a pistol in my pants.

Little Blue: Good.

(They walk in and the only person there is a plain orange man)

Jade: Looks like we're the only ones.

Little Blue: Name?

Man: Da name's Fap.

Little Blue: Are you serious? That's your name?

Fap: (leans backwards and slowly becomes crosseyed) Uhhhhhh YEAH! (pops back up)

Little Blue: You see this guy as a threat Jade?

Jade: Do you?

(Shows Fap just spinning around in circles on his hand)

Little Blue: Not really.

Jade: Then let's just sit down and look for our guy.

Little Blue: (looks at the note) I think this IS our guy.

Jade: Are you sure?

Little Blue: Is there any other person here? The bus driver is just a scarecrow.

Jade: Wait, how did the bus stop?

Little Blue: No idea. Come on Fap.

Fap: Yes! Thank's HOMIES!

Jade: Uh, okay.

Little Blue: Let's just go. (walks out and the bus speeds off) Huh. That scarecrow drives better than I do.

Jade: Wonder where he's going?

(Cuts to the scarecrow driving and doings drugs then the bus falls off a cliff)

Little Blue: Don't want to know.

Jade: Now what are we suppose to do with this guy?

Fap: Take me to eat. WE'RE hungry.

Jade and Little Blue: (confused) WE'RE!?

Fap: Yep.

(A tiny Fap comes out of his mouth in the place of his tounge)

Jade: That's fucking weird.

Fap: No, THIS is weird! (his hands are replaced with sharpies) Ooh! (sees Jones napping on a park bench then draws a mustache on him)

Little Blue: (whispering to Jade) I bet whoever wrote this letter is enjoying not having to deal with him.

Jade: (Whispers to Little Blue) Maybe we should ditch him.

(Jones wakes up and yawns where a smile can be seen drawn on his tounge)

Jones: (Confused) Was I dreaming?

Fap: You're tounge was.

Jones: Who the fuck are you tangerine?

Fap: Da name's Fap! (his arms turn back to normal)

Jones: Alright, later! (Walks away)

Little Blue: Fap. There's a hot dog stand over there! (points off screen


Jade: (To Little Blue) Why do we need him anyway?

Little Blue: No idea. Just glad he's gone.

(Shows Fap eating the stand and he nearly eats the man but he escapes)

Little Blue: WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

Fap: (walks up) Good hot dogs.

(They stare as his "tounge" eats a hot dog)

Little Blue: Ditch stage two. Ideas Jade?

Jade: I don't know.


Jade: Why can't we ditch him LB?

Little Blue: He'll just come back.

Jade: Unless we find a distraction so that he won't follow us.

Little Blue: Yeah. (holds a diamond) Fap, you want it?

Fap: Yeah! Gimme!

(LB throws it into the woods)

Jade: Nice, let's get the fuck out of here. (Grab's Little Blue's arm and runs away from Fap)

(Shows Fap jump into the river after the diamond and he starts struggling then cuts back to Jade and LB)

Jade: Okay, I think he's gone now.

Little Blue: (pants) Good. Wait, did I just throw a diamond?

Jade: Yeah, why?

(LB just stands there then it cuts to them running through the forest)

Jade: That was the worst idea you ever had!

Little Blue: C'mon it was pretty good! He left didn't he?

Jade: But now we're running in the woods.

Little Blue: (stops at the river) I couldn't have thrown it past this.

(Jade sees Fap drowning)

Jade: Hey! The mental guy is drowning!

Little Blue: We gotta help him! Come on! (jumps in)

Jade: (Sighs) Alright. (Jumps in the river with Little Blue)

Little Blue: Oh my god! This water is going fast! (gets hit by a tree branch above the water) Ow!

Fap: Must! (goes under then pops back up) Get diamond!

Jade: LB! We gotta come up with a plan.

Little Blue: Ok! First grab that log, we won't have to worry about staying up so much.

Jade: (Sighs) Fine, now I must do all the saving for you guys. (Grabs a log by the river side)

Little Blue: Alright!

(They catch up to Fap)

Little Blue: Come on buddy!

(Fap pulls him up)

Fap: Still got the diamond!

(They get into rapids)

Jade: (Yells) LB! Watch out!!

Fap: This is a ride! We need actual seats! (opens up a computer file and stuffs LB and Jade in there)

Little Blue: What the fuck?

(Fap searches images and pulls out a saw and carves seats then pulls them out and sits them in it)

Little Blue: What?

Fap: Let's continue.

(They continue screaming)

Jade: (Yells) What the fuck did he just do!?

Little Blue: That's it! Fap, what else can you do?

Fap: I can make paddles, stop rivers, um... make pizza...

Jade and Little Blue: STOP THE RIVER!!!

Fap: Oh, right! (stops the river)

Jade: Again, how did you do that?

Fap: Can't everybody do it?

Jade: No!

Fap: Then I'm special!

Little Blue: No kidding!

(Red runs by and takes the diamond)


Jade: Right now, I don't give a shit about what to do with the diamond.

Red: (jumps into a river and a shark eats him) No! (drops the diamond and LB gets it)

Little Blue: Make sharks?

Fap: Yeaaaaaaaah.


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