|All Hail the Bitch|
"It's good to be Bitchy.
|Air date||May 11, 2014.|
|Written by||YoshiRocker13, AndrewBrauer|
|Other episodes by the author|
Roar's New Home
Role Playing Freaks
When Bitchess is being praised by a tribe of men, Holly and Rare must find a way back home.
(The Episode begins with a plane flying in the sky.)
Holly: Come on Bitchess, (shivers) I'm freezing! Can I please borrow one of your blankets?
Bitchess: (covered in 6 blankets) Go get your own bitch.
(Meanwhile in first class, Rare is given a personal heater, while sipping hot chocolate and getting a foot massage)
Rare: (Relaxed) Ahaaaa! I love being rich and famous.
Waiter: Is there anything else you would like miss?
Rare: A lobster will do, other than that, just some more hot chocolate and a bottle of vodka will do. (Winks at the waiter)
Waiter: (blushes a bit) Err, sure. Coming right up. (runs out)
Bitchess: (groans) This trip is BOOOOOORING!
Rare: (To Bitchess) Hey poor person in the back, quit ruining my trip and get back to your poor pathetic life.
Bitchess: (grumbles) Stupid lucky rich bitch.
Holly: (peeks around) Rare, please stop being rude. I know your rich and all but you don't have to be so rude!
Bitchess: (hits Holly's head) Does rude make that clear? (laughs)
Speaker: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. It seems that our plane has run outta gas cuz we we're too lazy to fill up our gas, so we're turning off the engines now, so we're probably gonna crash, good day!
Holly and Bitchess: OH SHIT!
Rare: That's it! when I get off this plane, I am sueing their company for everything they fucking have!
(The Plane crashes on an island.)
Holly: (recovers and coughs from the smoke) Everyone okay?
Bitchess: (coughs) Oh quit your worrying! (coughs more)
Rare: (Gets up) I'm fine, as always. (Clears the smoke around her)
Holly: Where are we?
Bitchess: (lies under a tree) Paradise. Aaaahhh... (relaxes)
Holly: We're stranded on an island!
Rare: Looks more like a vacation island, where's the bar? (Looks around)
Man: Hey! What are YOU three, doing on OUR island?
Holly: Look, we didn't mean to crash here, our plane crashed!
Rare: And more importantly, who are you?
Man: We are servents of our queen, who has disappeared years ago! We promise one day to find our queen and- (notices food in the plane) We found food!
Bitchess: Hey Dick! Those are my snacks!
Man: Your snacks? Wait... (looks at Bitchess and gasps) IT CAN'T BE! O- It's... (bows down) Men! Our queen has returned from her disapearence!
Rare: Oh wait, I thought they were talking about me?
(Notices the man bowing down to Bitchess)
Rare: No fucking way!
(The other men come out.)
Men: (gasp) It's our queen!
Man: Take her to her throne!
(The men lift Bitchess up and take her into the trees.)
Bitchess: Hey! Put me down!
Rare: (To Holly) You're seeing what I'm seeing right?
Holly: Tell me I'm dreaming.
(The men put Bitchess on the throne.)
Man: Our queen, it has been long since your absence. Now we greet you to lead us again as we serve you!
(They put a leaf crown on her head.)
Bitchess: (grins) Oh yeah, I could get used to this.
Rare: How is this two cent whore considered a queen?
Man: (points up to a giant statue of a woman who looks exactly like Bitchess) This woman has been leading us for YEARS!
Rare: (Smirks) Really?
Man: Wait a minute... Who are you two?
Holly: Err, we're-
Rare: Friends to the whole queen, I'm her right hand woman Rare, and her assistant... (Thinks for a second) Holly right?
Holly: Err, yeah!
Man: (looks around Rare) You... We've never seen you before.
Man #2: (to Holly) Or you.
Man: They must be intruders, to kill the queen! GET THEM! (Several men grab Rare and Holly.)
Holly: Hey! Let us go!
Rare: Don't you touch me! This is very rude of you people to treat us this way!
Holly: OH NOW LOOK WHO'S TALKING!
Man: Queen, do you know these people? Are they really your assistants?
Bitchess: (grins) No! Their not mine.
Rare: (Angry) Are you fucking seriously right now you stupid cunt!!??
Holly: Your not serious are you?!
Man: THROW THEM IN THE DUNGEON!
(They are thrown in the dungoen.)
Rare: (Sarcastic) Well this is fucking lovely. (Crosses her arms)
Holly: Bitchess! I thought we were friends!
Bitchess: I DON'T have any friends.
Rare: That's easy to find out, judging by your name and attitude.
Man: Fair queen, what shall we do with these prisoners?
Bitchess: (thinks) Hmm, let me think.
Rare: (Sighs) This isn't going to end well.
Holly: Bitchess, please...
Bitchess: (grins) Sentence them, (close up on her face) TO DEATH!
Rare: The Fuck!?
Man: How shall we kill them? Decaptating? Cut in half? Burned alive?
Rare: (Thinks) This bitch will have something more creative.
Holly: If your going to kill us, could you please make it not painful!
Bitchess: Not painful?
Rare: There is actually a death that's not painful?
Man: I think there's something like being stoned, laughing to death, and I think there's more... At least I think their NOT painful.
Rare: (Thinks) Please something not painful.
Bitchess: Nah, kill them painfully. Just chop em up or something.
Rare: Are you fucking serious right now!?
(The Men pull the two girls out.)
Rare: Why do you have to kill us you, bitch!?
Bitchess: I don't want you two getting in my way of being queen.
Rare: Then what can we do so that we, you know, DON'T DIE!?
Bitchess: Hmm... You could serve me instead, but one mishap and you die.
Man: Well said your majesty!
Rare: Anything so that I can live.
Holly: Alright 'your majesty' what do you want?
Bitchess: (points to Holly) Give me a lemonade drink, (to Rare) and you give me a foot massage. My feet are aching.
Rare: (Eyes roll) Fine. (Take's Bitchess' shoes and socks off as she massages Bitchess's feet with a disgust look on her face)
Holly: Here's your lemonade. (sighs)
Bitchess: No thanks needed.
Rare: Anything else you need 'your majesty'?
Bitchess: Nah, that'll do.
(Suddenly cuts to a helicopter in the sky.)
Rapper: So how the fuck did you know Holly was stranded on an island?
Steve: I heard on the news! The plane she was on crashed on an island!
Rapper: (smells smoke) Like maybe the one down there?
Steve: YEAH! That must be it!
(They fly towards the island.)
Rare: (Hears a helicopter) Oh my! That must be help! I knew they would come for me!
Holly: STEVE! Save me from this!
(The men take Holly away.)
(Rapper shoots the men down. As the helicopter flies past them, Steve grabs Holly.)
Holly: (kisses Steve) Stevie pie! You came for me!
Rapper: Oh enough mooshy stuff.
Rare: (Gets on the helicopter) Thanks goodness you guys came to the rescue, I had to massage feet, gross.
Bitchess: H- HEY! Come back down here!
Man: But wait! You HAVE to stay here! Your our queen!
Rapper: (laughs) Sucks to be her.
Holly: (dusts Rare off) Hey? Are you okay?
Rare: (To Holly) Oh, so you do know my name.
Holly: Uhh of course I do, we're cousins.
Rapper: Wait WHAT!?! YOUR cousins with THIS BITCH?!
Rare: Estranged cousins, she knew some of my rich family members.
Rapper: Whatever, I still don't care.
Rare: Like I give a shit Rapper, I'm just glad to be around some family right now.
Rapper: (mumbles) Stupid bitch.
(It suddenly cuts to Bitchess swimming away from the island.)
Bitchess: WAIT FOR MEEEEEEE!