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Another Day, Another Idiot
Air date May 19, 2014
Written by Alpha-Lonewolf, YoshiRocker13
Directed by Alpha-Lonewolf
Other episodes by the author

TBD

TBD

 

Summary

Professor Stick tries many different inventions to try and make Fifi smarter.

Transcript

(Professor Stick was having an annoyed tone on his face as Fifi was floating around him, poking him)

Fifi: Pokey pokey atichokie.

Professor Stick: FIFI! Can you please stop bothering me so I can continue with my research?!

Fifi: Recess? Yay! class is over!

Professor Stick: IT'S RESEARCH! RESEARCH!!! (grabs her shoulders) CAN'T YOU FIGURE ANYTHING OUT?!

Fifi: (Pokes his nose) beep beep.

Professor Stick: (groans in frustration) If only there was a way I could make you normal again!

Fifi: if only you were as smart as me because I'm the smartiest.

Professor Stick: (gasps) Exactly! (runs into his lab room as noises are heard)

Fifi was outside the lab playing with toxic chemicals)

Fifi: (making plane sounds) Oh no I am running out of gas!

(Professor Stick wheels his machine out.)

Professor Stick: Fifi! Those are NOT toys!

Fifi: On no look out for that volcano! (is about to dump the chemicals into a lighted stove)

Professor Stick: (snatches the chemicals away from Fifi) No! That will do bad damage! Naughty sister! (heads to his machine)

Fifi: Ooh a time machine!

(Professor Stick puts a helmet from the machine he made onto her head)

Professor Stick: Fifi, if you promise not to move, I'll give you all the cookies you want. (prepares the machine)

Fifi: okay!

Professor Stick: Splendid! (activates the machine as the electricity goes into Fifi's head and into her brain)

Professor Stick: (turns the machine off) That should work. Fifi? How do you feel?

Fifi: One plus F equals pajamas. Yay! I'm smartier!

Professor Stick: Damn it! That didn't work! Hmm... maybe try a potion. (pulls a potion out) Fifi, would you like a drink of... Lemonade?

Fifi: Yay! (drinks it)

(Fifi goes wide-eyed, then falls to the ground fainted)

Professor Stick: Oh dear... Fifi..?

Fifi: Br- brother, c-c-come closer.

Professor Stick: Oh my goodness... did it work? (gets closer to Fifi)

Fifi: (Burps butterflies in his face) That was yummy!

Professor Stick: DAAAMN IT! (thinks) I think I have a better idea. (pulls out an einstein's brain) Fifi, could you hold still for a moment?

Fifi: Ooh! Play doh! (starts squishing it)

(Professor Stick opens her head, and takes out her small brain, and puts in the Einstein's brain, and closes the head. Fifi stares for a moment)

Professor Stick: (sighs) I doubt this may work..

Fifi: incorrect brother. this brain has a capability to work just fine.

Professor Stick: (gasps) Fifi! Do you know what 10 times 10 is?!

Fifi: But not that long in this body. (Head shakes and sounds of gears grinding is heard and smoke comes out a bit from her ears) Ben Ten! I win!

Professor Stick: GOD DAMN IT! (knocks his potions over in anger) NOTHING'S going to work! (sighs) Now I have to deal with a stupid sister for the rest of my life!

Wolf: (Comes in) Are you trying to make her smart?!

Professor Stick: (directs to the potions) Isn't it fucking obvious?!

Wolf: I have an idea to try. What if you make a learning machine that causes her pain if she gets a question wrong?

Professor Stick: Hmm, that's actually not a bad idea.

(Later, Professor Stick puts a helmet on her head.)

Professor Stick: Alright, Fifi, I'm going to ask you a question, if you get it right, you get a cookie, but if you get it wrong, you face pain. (pulls a remote out)

Fifi: I like monopoly!

Professor Stick: Alright, first question. (reads his paper) What was the first video game ever made?

Fifi: (sings) London is falling down!

(Professor Stick presses the button, zapping her in extreme pain.)

Professor Stick: WRONG ANSWER!

Fifi: OW! does the helmet love me too?

Wolf: No. next question.

Professor Stick: What was the first film ever created?

Fifi: watermelon and banonos.

(Professor Stick presses the button, zapping her in extreme pain.)

Professor Stick: WRONG ANSWER! The answer was 'The Horse in Motion'!

Wolf: Time to increase the pain.

Professor Stick: (turns the level to intense pain) Right! Next question! What is the name of Mario's friend dinosaur?

Fifi: Sonic the Hedgehog!

Wolf: That wasn't even the same species you idiot!

(Professor Stick presses the button, zapping her and now burning her in extreme pain.)

Fifi: Owie! owie! owie! The helmet really loves me!

Wolf: That's it! All gloves off! Turn it up to apocalypse pain!

(Professor Stick angrily turns the level to apocalypse pain)

Professor Stick: RIGHT! NEXT QUESTION! Why is it when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?!

Wolf: Wait, wait, wait. lets start off with the easiest question.

Professor Stick: You have any easy ones? My list has all the hard ones.

Wolf: Let's just make up one that even a child could get right.

Professor Stick: Right. Fifi? Answer this, what is 1 plus 1?

(Wolf's eye twitches)

Professor Stick: Fifi... If you get this wrong, you do not want to know what will happen... NOW ANSWER THE QUESTION!

Fifi: Uhh...Two be or not two be! That is the question!

Wolf: Oh my God! You retarded fuck of a dead brained lemming!

(Professor Stick presses the button pissed off, the machine sends Fifi into an apocalyptic pain)

Wolf: I hope this kills you!

(Fifi dies from the pain)

(the machine starts to overload from the over use of pain it tries to give Fifi)

Professor Stick: Oh shit! (the Machine suddenly sets on fire) NO NO NO!

Wolf: Turn it off!

(Professor Stick turns the machine off)

Professor Stick: Phew, that was close..

(the machine still explodes knock them into a wall)

Fifi: Aww, Mr. machine had a head ache.

Wolf: The machine isn't the only one.

Professor Stick: That's it. I'm done. I've failed. What else can I do? (stands up)

Wolf: Try making another sister?

Professor Stick: I've been working on a human robot, hopefully she can replace Fifi as my sister.

Wolf: I can't wait to see the look on Fifi's face when you tell her she is no longer you sister and had her replaced.

Professor Stick: (laughs) I can't wait either.

Fifi: (come up behind Professor Stick with a hug and a kiss on the cheek) I love you forever brother. (then plays with a hula hoop)

Professor Stick: Please, get the fuck off me.

(END)

COMMENT YOUR POLL VOTE

  • 1/5 Unicorn Barf!
  • 2/5 It was like Meh.
  • 3/5 I guess it was... pretty good.
  • 4/5 This is like crazy right?
  • 5/5 CUZ I'M AWESOME

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