|Arrival of Doom|
|Other episodes by the author|
Dick Figures Shitmas (2013)
We first saw Dark Doom in The World's End right? Well now we're about to find out how he actually came to America and his first attack on it.
- Dark Doom
- Lord Tourettes
- Lady Tourettes
- Saigron (mentioned)
(Red, Blue and Rapper sit in a bar all looking bored)
Blue: Guess this is catching up huh?
Rapper: I think we should all go on an adventure.
Red: Adventures rule!
Blue: Like when we went to find that sword?
Red: (laughs) Yeah. That was fun.
Bartender: Could I get you gentlemen anything?
Rapper: Give me a bloody mary.
Bartender: Coming up.
(a dark energy ball is blasted at the three but Raccoon jumps in front of them and deflects it)
Raccoon: Forrow me! (runs off while the other three follow)
Red: (while running) Is the world ending?
Raccoon: No. (zoom on his face) A dark rord is among us.
(Raccoon uses his sword of destiny to activate a door taking them to an underground area)
Rapper: Where are we?
Raccoon: Where everyone else hides.
Pink: Blue! Your alright! (hugs him tightly)
Blink: Yay daddy!
Stacy: Hey Red, it's a doomsday party.
Lord Tourettes: Well what ever SHIT it is it's FUCKING me out!
Lady Tourettes: I am so RAPED by this!
Raccoon: Everyone rerax!
Blue: Could someone please tell me what's going on here?
Stacy: Yeah, an end of world party.
Red: Or a sex party.
Raccoon: An evir mastermind is destroying the city.
Blue: Is it Saigron?
Raccoon: No. It is not-a Saigron. But someone very powerfur.
Mama-san: Papa-san. What-a do we do about it?
Raccoon: We must-a use teamwork to defeat it.
Blue: Well I think we should leave the girls here so-
Pink: Now hold on a minute. Do you not remember what happened when Wolf took me on his adventure?
Blue: Oh yeah. I guess you girls can come. But make sure Blink is safe.
Red: Pfft, this'll be easy.
(as soon as Red walks outside, the ground blows up sending Red into the air. Stacy catches him)
Red: Now I see heaven.
Blue: Listen w- we don't want any trouble!
Rapper: Really? That's the best you can do?
(suddenly a shadow figure smashes the ground as landing.)
Shadow Figure: So you think you'll be able to stop me THAT easily? (laughs evily) I highly doubt that.
Pink: Wh- who are you?
Shadow Figure: My identity is none of your concern.
Blue: Hey don't talk to Pink like that!
Blink: Yeah meanie!
Shadow Figure: YOU MISJUDGE ME!? (fires an energy ball towards Blue)
Blue: Oh crap!
Blink: Double meanie!
Raccoon: (pulls the great sword of destiny out) You reave now or we wirr give you roads of pain,
(the shadow figure steps out of the smoke and reveals Dark Doom)
Dark Doom: That will not be necessary. I like destroying things. Like when I'm about to destroy YOU.
(Dark Doom shoots multiple dark balls at everyone but they dodge them. Blink hides behind a rock but gets destroyed by Dark Doom. Red tries throwing arrows at Dark Doom but they immediatley deflect back at him. Raccoon then jumps from a building to try and stab Raccoon but Dark Doom grabs him by the neck and poisons him)
Mama-san: No! Papa-san!
Blink: Pikachu!? YAY!
Lady Tourettes: Are you okay?
Raccoon: Forget-a about me! Destroy Dark-a Doom!
(suddenly Bullets explode in Dark Doom's face and shows Trollz0r in his jet plane firing them)
Trollz0r: (Aww Yea Face) AWW YEAH! (Me Gusta face) These the best weapons evah!
Red: It's crazy face shit!
(Dark Doom flies straight past the jet cutting it in half as Trollz0r lands on the ground painfully)
Trollz0r: (Forever Alone face) Game Over man!
Stacy: I like this party.. (giggles)
Lord Tourettes: I want this nightmare to end!
Blue: Maybe we should all attack at once!
(Blue fires his pistol at Dark Doom, distracting him. Rapper smashes Dark Doom to a wall)
Rapper: Nice distraction Bloser.
Blue: Shut up!
Dark Doom: You think this is easy!?
(Raccoon, able to get up, stabs Dark Doom with his sword)
Raccoon: You were easiry defeated.
Pink: Papa-san? Your alive?
Raccoon: Simple poison can never kirr this tough one.
Mama-san: At reast Dark Doom is finarry defeated.
Blink: Let's celebrate with ice cream!
Red: For pussies.
(Blink cries in Pink's arm)
Red: What? It's true!
(Dark Doom laughs evily)
Dark Doom: You think I would be defeated so easily and quickly? I don't think so.
(Dark Doom's eyes suddenly turn purple)
Lady Tourettes: What the BALLS!?
(Dark Doom suddenly unleashes power from his body as the city turns black)
Dark Doom: (demonic voice) You shall all fall into my hands.
(Dark Doom shoots a purple and black laser at the group, knocking them to a building)
Blue: (coughs) Ah shit.
Stacy: What fun! Let's do it again!
Pink: Everyone alright?
Rapper: Ugh I hate this guy more than Saigron.
Blue: No one hates no one more than Saigron.
Red: And no hates no one more than my dick.
Blue: REALLY RED!?
Red: What? It was a good rythm. Just like my dick.
Blink: What's a di-
Pink: (covers Blink's mouth) Uh nothing sweetie.
Dark Doom: (laughs in a demonic voice) Didn't think It's so easy now huh? Think twice.
(Dark Doom fires powerful laser at the group but Raccoon blocks it with his sword of destiny)
Raccoon: Herp me deflect this!
(Trollz0r throws a grenade at Dark Doom destracting him as Raccoon fires the laser back at him)
Dark Doom: (recovers) I WILL NOT LOSE. (suddenly his arm turns black as it unleashes black darkness at the group)
Lady Tourettes: (gets hit) Aah! What is this SHIT!?
(suddenly Lady Tourettes' eyes turn purple and her eyes become red)
Dark Doom: (commands) Destroy your friends.
(Lady Tourettes pulls a sword out and attacks the group)
Lord Tourettes: (blocks with a sword) GO!
(the group run off to find Dark Doom)
Lady Tourettes: I can't control my SHIT!
Lord Tourettes: Snap out of it!
Red: Stab the bitch!
Blue: But she's ALIVE!
(Dark Doom looks down at the group)
Dark Doom: (laughs) Pathetic beings. Don't deserve to live in this world.
(Dark Doom fires another powerful laser at the group)
(everyone pulls a sword out and deflect the laser back at Dark Doom, weakening him)
Rapper: The bastard used all of it's power.
Pink: Not the smartest thing to do.
(everyone proceeds to attack Dark Doom)
Dark Doom: YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME! (dissapears)
Blue: Note to self, second strongest villain ever.
Pink: You said it.
Blink: What a meanie!
(Lady Tourettes turns back to normal)
Lord Tourettes: Oh thank BALLS!
(Dark Doom watches them from a building)
Dark Doom: Just you wait. Our next attack won't be pretty. (dissapears)