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Autotune and The Alcohol
Autotune and The Alcohol
I'mmmm commminnng out of the cloosseeettt, I'm gaaay!!
Air date 12-22-13
Written by AndrewBrauer
Directed by AndrewBrauer
Set in Night Time
Location Ball Busters and Beer Factory
Other episodes by the author

None

Birthday Boy

 

Plot

Simon instructs Thomas to buy some more alcohol for the club. Molly celebrates coming out as a lesbian by using a new autotune app on her phone. Alice decides to let loose.

Rating: TV-MA

  • Mild Violence
  • Adult Content
  • Adult Language

Characters

Transcript

7:28 PM

On a Tuesday

(Episode opens with the song Magic Stick playing in the background, and several people dancing, it then cuts to Alice serving a beer to a man)

Alice: Enjoy your night.

Molly: (Walks in with the bottom of her phone held up against her throat) Hell-ooo Alice.

Alice: I'm guessing your gonna explain why you're trying to make your phone talk back?

Molly: I'mmmm commminnng out of the cloosseeettt, I'm gaaay!!

Alice: (With Surprise) Really, wow so what made you decide to love women?

Molly: Becaaaauuussseeee, meeeennn are dicccckkkkssss!

(Cuts to Broseph flirting with a woman)

Broseph: You know it. (suddenly gets slapped)

(Cuts back to Alice and Molly)

Molly: Annnnnddddd this app is my neeeeeewwwww best friend.

Alice: Well, nice to see you happy.

Molly: (Puts her phone away) What's wrong Alice?

Alice: Oh nothing, it's just that my date last night wasn't all that great.

Molly: Wait, was it Blue?

Alice: (Frustrated) No! I told you a million times, we are not related at all, plus he's married. Anyways it's that guy Trollz0r, all he did was make meme faces and tried to fuck me.

(Cuts to last night at a restraunt with Alice and Trollz0r eating pizza)

Trollz0r: So, I have a ph.D

Alice: Wow.

Trollz0r: A pretty huge Dick (makes LOL face)

Alice: (Alice looks upset and begins to cry) Ugh!

(Cuts back to Alice and Molly)

Alice: Anyways, I'm sure Simon needs you to do some stupid task like crush boxes.

Molly: Alright, but you know, you will find a boyfriend one day.

Alice: (Looking depressed) Thanks (Sighs)

(Molly walks up the stairs and into Simon's room to find him lying on the floor with a bottle of beer in his hand)

Molly: Simon, it's only 7:30 and you're already drunk?

Simon: (Stands Up) Fuck no, So What did I miss?

(Thomas walks in)

Thomas: Simon we are running low on beer.

Simon: Oh yeah, I know I'm drunk because I drank all of them (Burps in Molly's face)

Molly: Dick.

Thomas: What the fuck, that was suppose to last until the end of the week, what do we do?

(Simon has a thinking expression on his face, with Thomas and Molly growing more frustrated)

Molly: You know what, I'm just gonna..

(Molly runs out of the room and slams the door)

Simon: Hold up, I've got it!

Thomas: What?

Simon: You know Red right, well he knows a guy who supplys beer and has his own factory, you can go there and get our regular supply.

Thomas: I don't know if we have enough money for another week's worth of supply for beer.

Simon: Relax, just steal the beer, I'll call the guy and explain it to him later.

Thomas: Well I don't know if I can get all by myself.

(Suddenly Emma barges in)

Emma: OH MY GOD, I JUST SMOKED MY FIRST PUFF OF CRACK AND I WANNA EAT A COW.

Simon: Problem solved. Thomas, you take Emma along with you and the two of you can take the beer truck to get the supply of beer.

Thomas: Not the best solution, but it'll do.

(Thomas and Emma walk outside to the beer truck and Thomas start the truck while Emma gets in the passenger seat)

Emma: Hey Thomas.

Thomas: What?

Emma: Have you ever had a craving when smoking crack?

Thomas: How should I know, I'm not a crack whore like you.

Emma: Hey I prefer the term addict, but I bet you don't give a shit.

Thomas: Wow, the crack doesn't completely ruin your brain cells.

Emma: That's pot dumbass.

Thomas: Hardly a difference, but in your case it means that it's in a completely different ball park.

Emma: (Laughs Hard) No, I don't wanna play baseball, I'm already high as fuck.

(While Emma laughs hard, Thomas grows frustrated, but the two find the factory and sneak in through the back entrance, Thomas parks the truck, and the two get out)

Thomas: It's weird seeing this place without much guards.

Emma: It's a beer factory, they probably don't give a shit if a keg goes missing.

(Thomas opens the garage door and finds it to be a dark room, as the two enter the garage door suddenly closes)

Emma: Holy Shit I'm blacking out, is this a side effect of crack.

Thomas: Calm down, I just need to find a light switch.

Mysterious Voice: Oh, is that what your looking for.

Emma: Ok, I think that was an actual voice.

Thomas: Who the hell are you?

(Suddenly the lights turn on and Earl Grey is shown floating in the air over a giant tank full of beer)

Thomas: Oh fuck, it's Earl Grey.

Earl Grey: (Laughs in a evil tone) that's right, and I'm sure you might of thought this was beer factory, but really it's the base of my evil operations.

Emma: You bastard, my brother is a stupid drunk, why are you floating, my head is spinning. (Emma then faints)

Thomas: (Shocked) What did you do?

Earl Grey: Oh it's so simple, your friend is just experiencing some of the side effects of her addiction to crack, the first puff is so fascinating, but after about an hour, you so desperately want to sleep. In other words, it's your friends fault.

(Earl Grey then lifts up some kegs of beer to throw at Thomas and Emma, Thomas drags Emma into the side of a giant keg)

Thoma: Oh Shit, what am I gonna do?

(Suddenly, Emma disapears)

Thomas: (Whispers) Emma! Where are you?

(Cuts to Emma on top of a catwalk on the ceiling, with a beer keg attached to a rope on the ceiling with a lever)

Emma: Hey Grey!

Earl Grey: What the douse?

Emma: Heads Up!

(Emma releases a lever that hits Earl Grey in the head and drops him into a giant beer keg that's open)

Earl Grey: Gah! Beer, my own worst enemy.

(Cuts back to Alice at Ball Busters who seems lonely at the bar, then Michael shows up)

Michael: How's it hanging, Blueberry?

Alice: It's fine, you must be having fun.

Michael: Well, I'm on my break, these idiots will dance to anything.

Alice: (Depressed) Alright.

Michael: Hey, come on, you need to let loose, you're surrounded by all this liquor, so let's celebrate.

Alice: Celebrate what?

Michael: Being drunk.

(The chorus to Like a G6 is playing, and Alice quickly guzzles down two cups of vodka, and then it cuts to Alice and Michael jumping up and down on the dance floor while mouthing the chorus to Like a G6, then the two guzzle down two more bottles of vodka)

Alice: I LOVE DRUNK!! WHOA!

(Cuts to Earl Grey struggling to swim in the giant keg full of beer)

Emma: Hey, if you think that's your worst enmey, then...

(Emma pulls out a prism)

Earl Grey: NO! You better not be doing what I think your doing?

Emma: What? Oh this, it's just for your midnight color.

(Cuts to Thomas)

Thomas: (Bored Expression) Really?

(Cuts back to Emma, as she shines the prism up to a window where the moon is shining and the moon rays hit Earl Grey)

Earl Grey: YAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!

(Earl Grey explodes and the giant keg explodes all over the warehouse, Emma then suddenly appears next to Thomas)

Emma: We did it, we stopped Earl Grey.

Thomas: (Angry Expression) Yeah, but we are soaked with beer, and worst of all, we have no beer!

Emma: Oh that. Don't worry, I moved the week's supply in the truck while I was on my way up to the catwalk.

(Thomas has an odd expression on his face for a couple of seconds)

Thomas: What is in those drugs you take?

(Cuts back to Ball Busters as Thomas and Emma arrive in the beer truck with the beer and walk inside, where Simon and Molly are sitting at the bar)

Simon: Where the hell have you two been, the club closed like an hour ago.

Emma: You wouldn't believe it, there was Earl Grey, a prism, the moon, and I think I killed him, and...

Thomas: (Cuts in) Let's just say, it was a long night and we got your beer.

Molly: Well, you wouldn't believe our night, we are all out of alcohol because a pair of drunk idiots, one of them  not being Simon, drank our entire cabinet.

Thomas: Wait, where's Alice and Michael?

(Cuts to Alice puking in a trash can outside the club, with Michael trying to keep things steady)

Michael: Bitch, are you done?

Alice: (Yells) Back off! You're not the one who has to be lonely all the time.

(Alice continues to puke, then it cuts to the two returning inside)

Alice: Hey! Are you guys stupid?

(Simon, Thomas, Molly, and Emma look with odd expressions on there face)

Alice: Because I drank all that liquor, and my good friend Michael contributed to the plan as well.

(Alice then passes out on the floor and Michael suddenly walks off to the bathroom and is heard puking)

Simon: So, what did I miss?

Thomas: Are you fuc... (Cuts to the end credits)

Created By AndrewBrauer

Written By AndrewBrauer

-Lightshow Episode 1-

Full Character list below

http://dickfiguresfanon.wikia.com/wiki/Simon,_Thomas,_Molly,_Alice,_Michael,_and_Emma

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The poll was created at 02:07 on January 5, 2014, and so far 5 people voted.

Trivia

  • This is the first episode of Lightshow.
  • We learn that Alice once went out with Trollz0r.
  • We learn that Simon likes to drink beer.
  • Earl Grey becomes the first official villian for Lightshow.
  • Molly comes out as a lesbian for the first time.



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