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Babysit Dumbshit

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Babysit Dumbshit
Babysit Dumb Shit
I hate you
Air date 10-05-13
Written by Alpha-Lonewolf, YoshiRocker13, Mdkid663
Directed by Alpha-Lonewolf
Location Blue's house
Other episodes by the author

Season 5

Blue's of Blue

 

Summary

Wolf leaves Fifi with Red and Blue to babysit. How long will they survive?

Transcript

(Blue is in his house washing dishes)

Red: (Comes in) Sup asshole!

Blue: (screams) Red! What are you doing here!?

Red: Wolf said to meet him here for some reason.

Blue: What?

Red: I don't know.

Wolf: (Walks in) Hey how would two like to babysit someone?

Blue: Babysit someone?

Red: What? I thought it would be something important!

Wolf: Come on Blue, think of it as more practice to handle your own kid.

Blue: Alright. Who do we have to babysit?

Wolf: (pushes Fifi in the house) Okay see ya in a week bye! (Quickly leaves and drives away)

(Red & Blue stare in complete shock)

Red & Blue: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Fifi: I'm a baby koala puppy!

Blue: (thinking) Well It's a good thing Blink's at school and Pink's at work.

Fifi: (Rocking on Blue's flat screen TV) Giddy up horsie!

Red: Not the TV!

Blue: GET OFF THE TV YOU ASSHOLE!!!

(Knocks the TV down and smashes it)

Fifi: I think Mr. TV has a boo boo.

Red: NOOOO!!! (cries)  

Blue: Oh it's just a TV.

Fifi: (Climbs on Pink's china dish cabinet) I can see my house from here!

Red: Can you see my house too?

Blue: Get off of that!

Fifi: AVALANCHE! (tips over the cabinet and breaks the dishes)

Blue: HOLY SHIT! (picks up broken dishes) YOU IDIOT!!!

Red: Oh it's just a bunch of dishes.

Blue: SHE BROKE ALL OF THEM YOU IDIOT!!!

Fifi: (goes in Blue's room) Ooh, what's in here?

Red: Oh shit.

Blue: GET OUT OF THERE!! (pushes Fifi out the door and locks it) This room is off limits!

Blue: (locks Blink's room) And this one too!

Fifi: (honks Blue's nose) You're funny.

Blue: (screams in anger)

Red: Look Fifi, can you be quiet and behave yourself for one week?

Blue: Please?

Fifi: Okay.

Red: Well that was easy.

Blue: Literally.

(DAY 1)

(Red getting a beer until Fifi pops out from the bottle) Fifi: Boo!

Red: AUUUGH!!!

(Blue taking a bath)

(Fifi suddenly pops out from the tap in the bath)  

Blue: HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!! AUGH!!!!

Fifi: I'm Flipper!

Blue: (throws Fifi out the door) GET OUT YOU FUCKTARD!!!!!!!

(Blue gets in the tub and relaxes)

Fifi: (rides on a cannon ball towards the tub) CANNON BALL!

Blue: (pissed) AUGHH!!!! 

(DAY 2)

(Red Playing Flame War) 

Fifi: Hey Reddy poop!

Red: What!?

Fifi: I brought real players to your game.

Red: What the fuck are you talking about?

(Suddenly real soldiers come in and start shooting at each other with red in the middle)

Red: OH SHIIIT!!! (Ducks for cover)

(Blue making a quilt)

Fifi: (bring Blue a kitten) Look what I found!

Blue: It's just a cat.

Fifi: He looked thirsty so I gave it five cans of energy drinks. I'm so smart.

(the kitten begins going crazy and rips up Blue's quilt)

(at night, Blue sleeps in his bed as something moves in his blanket)

Blue: What the fuck is that!?

(Blue open the blanket but finds nothing)

Blue: What the hell? 

Pink: (wakes up) Blue? Are you okay?

Blue: Yeah. (lays back down and turns around on his pillow to be face to face with Fifi) Fifi: Hi Smurfy Butt!

Blue: AUGH!!! FIFI!!! 

Pink: That purple shit?

Fifi: (Jumps on Pink) MOMMY!!!

Pink: GET OFF ME!!! 

(DAY 3)

Red: (Reads Porn) Ha, boobs

(Fifi takes the magazine)

Red: GIMME THAT BACK!!!

(Fifi hides in the bathroom and locks the door)

Blink: (in bathtub) Who are you?

Fifi: I'm the Poo Fairy!

Blink: Who?

(Fifi makes a huge poop in the toilet and stinks up the entire bathroom)

Blink: (runs out of the bathroom in a towel crying) MOMMY!

Red: Where's my boobs!?

Fifi: (gives Red the magazine covered in poop) I need tissue. Thanks Red Bull.

Red: RRAAA-- 

(DAY 4) 

(Pink about to get in her car to the store but can't find her keys)

Pink: W- Where are my keys?

Fifi: (hangs in a high tree up side down) Look! I got shiny treasure! (Jingles the keys)

Pink: GIVE ME THOSE KEYS!!!

Fifi: Pinky pie is standing on the sky Tee Hee!

Pink: (snatches keys) GIMME!!!

Fifi: (Drops on Pink) Let's do that again! (Eats the keys in Pink's hand)

Pink: OW! LET GO! 

DAY 5) 

(Red, Blue, Pink & Blink sit in Blue's room)  

Red: FUUUCK!!! I can't take that bitch! She pooped on my magazine!  

Pink: She ate my keys! 

Blink: She saw me in the bath!  

Blue: Come on guys. We've only got her for like 3 days now.

Red: Dude! We got to do something!

Blue: Like what? We can't kill her.

Pink: We got to get rid of her! Blink is already afraid to go to the bathroom.

Blue: But how?

Red: (thinks and evily grins)

I got just the thing.

(Red leaves a trail of cookies that Fifi follows into a steel truck and traps her in and drives off)

Red: Later ya little shit fart!

Blue: Finally! She's gone!

Fifi: (suddenly walks next to Blue) Yeah we won't see her again.

Red: The fu... NOOOO!!!

Blue: AAHH!!! But didn't you-

Fifi: I want more cookies!

(Blue places a pile of cookies on a platform. Fifi sits on it and eats until she is wrapped up in a sack and blasts off with a missile)

Blue: Yes! She's gone!

Red: Yeah! She's gone for good now!

Blue: (looks around) Yup she's gone.

(Another missile crashes on top of Red and Blue from behind. As the smoke clears Fifi skips around)

Fifi: That was fun!

(Red & Blue recover from the crash)

Red: God damn it.

Blue: FIFI! GO AWAY!

(DAY 6)

(Pink is at the store)

Pink: I need some canned soup (turns to reach the can and turns back to see Fifi eating her food)

Fifi: I want more candy.

Pink: FIFI YOU LITTLE SHIT!!! YOU ATE MY FOOD!!!

Fifi: Lets get more food.

Pink: RRGH!!! (Pushes the basket with Fifi into a stack of glass jarred cookies)

Store Clerk: Was that your kart ma'am?

Pink: Uh, Yes?

Store Clerk: Then congratulations for buying that whole stack of cookies you broke.

Pink: FUCK!!!

Fifi: Yay! Free Cookies!

(DAY 7)

(everyone was exhausted and tired from Fifi's shenanigans)

Red: (Whines) When is Wolf coming?

(Wolf knocks on the door. When it opens everyone looks at him with glares)

Wolf: Well I see you all had a fun time.

Red: (Crazy glare) You jerk! I hate you!

Blue: If I knew someone to kick your ass I would have done it the moment you left Fifi with us!

Pink: Why the fuck did you leave her with us!?

Wolf: I went to a gun convention and I couldn't have her tag along so I kept her occupied with you guys.

All: WHAT!!!!!???

Wolf: So you have my thanks for watching her and more.

Blue: You owe us BIG time Wolf!

Wolf: After all I did for you guys, let's call it even.

(all three reach out to strangle Wolf)

Wolf: Uh, Fifi! Cookies over there!

(Fifi charges through them and knocks them down and Wolf gets away with Fifi)

Ryle: (comes in) Note to Wolf never send an annoying girl to go to a gun convention.

(END)


COMMENT YOUR POLL VOTE

  • 1/5 Unicorn Barf!
  • 2/5 It was like Meh.
  • 3/5 I guess it was... pretty good.
  • 4/5 This is like crazy right?
  • 5/5 CUZ I'M AWESOME

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