Bad-Ass Training
"Are you ready to learn the art of Bad-Assery?"

Episode by:

Alpha-Lonewolf and WakaWakaPOW

Release Date:



City, Field, Battlefield


After watching Wolf murder and fight and train numerous times, Jack decides to ask Wolf if he could train him. Jack then goes through simple challenges in order to prove that he's worthy of being trained.


(episode starts with Wolf walking in the city, out for groceries)

Wolf: (shoots man and steals his grocieres) Thanks.

(Wolf walks back home, taking a different route. he sees a GamePlace store nearby.)

Wolf: Oh, look, the new video game is out. (shoots another man, holding it. Wolf then proceeds to take the video game from him.) Can't wait to play this beast.

???: (across the street) Wolf, over here!!!

Wolf: (looks around) Someone page me?

(??? turns out to be Jack)

Jack: Wolf! (runs across street)

Wolf: (looks down) Oh. Hey, kid.

Jack: That was awesome, what you did back there!

Wolf: Well, that's just errands. You should see what I do on a daily basis!

Jack: Can you teach me?

Wolf: Well, I suppose... if you can answer me this one question.

Jack: Anything!

Wolf: Are you ready to learn the art of Bad-Assery?

Jack: Yes!!!

Wolf: Very well. Let's begin.

(cut to a field. Wolf and Jack are standing there, next to 2 red heavy wooden crates.)

Wolf: This is preschool. Watch this. (barely touches box with leg, boxes all fall down.)

Jack: I'll try. 

(kicks crate with a lot of might, and injures leg.)

Jack: Ow! Holy fu---- I mean... just a bit of a fracture! Nothing to worry about! (trying to hide the pain)

Wolf: Hm... maybe you should just stick to guns... let's move on to Step 2: Shooting.

Jack. Ok...

(time lapse as Wolf sets up targets)

Wolf: Check this out. (pumps gun and gets a bullseye)

Jack: Okay... (picks up gun, time lapse occurs after Jack misses three times) So, what was my score?

Wolf: (sleeping, wakes up) -WHOA, WHAT? (turns to Jack) What was that?

Jack: Nevermind.

Wolf: Well, I'll assume you did well, so let's move on to Step 3!

(cut to the inside a helicopter, that Jack and Wolf are in.)

Jack: Uh... Wolf? Please give me a logical explanation as to WHY you want me to jump out of the helicopter, fall 3 stories down to a building, and fight?

(no answer)

Jack: (looks up, is falling from helicopter) Oh, right... I guess I'll just try and suck it up, & murder everyone...

(flashback of Jack's elementary school years)

Jack: Oh, who am I kidding!? My classmates are right, I DO suck at everything!

(falls onto red fuzzy carpet, P90 falls out of hand)

Jack: Ow...

(door is being kicked in, and cyborg ninja burst in, Jack jumps to feet, clutching gun)

Jack: Oh, that's great...

(cyborg ninjas start fighting Jack, he falls to ground)

(Wolf is watching from above)


'You did well, kid."

Wolf: Yeah... this idea wasn't very great... (jumps down to building, murdering the cyborg ninjas) Gun hoe, asswads!

(Jack is lying on the ground in agony. Wolf helps him up. Jack has internal injuries, bruises, cuts, a black eye, and broken limbs.)

Wolf: You did well. (episode ends)

What do you think about this episode?

The poll was created at 20:41 on August 30, 2012, and so far 29 people voted.

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