"Let's get this crappy fuck over with."
|Other episodes by the author|
Bitchess is asked some questions by her author.
Bitchess: (sits on chair) Must I really do this shitty quiz?
YoshiRocker13: Just do it, then it'll all be over.
Bitchess: (groans) Fine!
1. What is your real name?
Bitchess: My real name is Karen, but everyone calls me Bitchess.
Bitchess: As if I'm giving that away dick.
3. What are your three most popular nicknames?
Bitchess: All Bitch fucktard.
4. What is your favorite color?
Bitchess: Pink! Are you blind?!
5. What is your favorite animal?
Bitchess: Screw animals.
6. What type of animal/race of human/mythical species are you?
Bitchess: A human you retard!
7. What is your favorite song?
Bitchess: I don't listen to music.
8. What is your favorite band?
Bitchess: I just told you! (stands up) I DON'T LISTEN TO MUSIC!!!
YoshiRocker: Eesh you don't have to shout.
Bitchess: Ya don't tell this bitch what to do. (sits back down)
9. What is your favorite TV station?
10. What is your favorite pastime?
Bitchess: Pastime sucks.
11. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Bitchess: A straight up bitch. Like I am today.
12. What did you want to be when you grew up when you were 4-7 years old?
Bitchess: Same as last question genious!
13. Time to get more wacko and personal… are you intimidated?
Bitchess: As If I should answer that.
14. Who do you have a crush on / who are you in a relationship with?
Bitchess: Boys are dicks.
15. Are you cheating?
Bitchess: I just said, I don't like boys!
16. Have you ever cheated on someone before?
Bitchess: NEXT QUESTION!!!
17. Do you drink often?
Bitchess: Actually, yes I do.
18. Do you smoke often?
19. What is your addiction? We know you have at least one.
Bitchess: I have no addiction. I do what I want when I want.
20. What is your naughtiest / dirtiest habit?
Bitchess: Teaching kids how to swear badly.
21. What's your sex life like?
Bitchess: (pissed off) DO I REALLY NEED TO REPEAT MYSELF!?!
22. Have you had a recurring dream before?
23. What was the last dream [ you can remember ] about?
Bitchess: Me being nice for once. (shudders) How disgusting!
24. Tell me something that could make you smile without fail?
Bitchess: Watching boys suffer my bitchy attitude.
25. What is your favorite thing to drink?
26. What is your master goal in life?
Bitchess: Why would I need one?
27. What is your most recent wish?
Bitchess: That all people on earth would be my slaves! (laughs evily and immediatley stops) Next question.
28. If you could accomplish one thing for yourself or someone else, anything at all, what would it be?
Bitchess: (growls) I would really love it if I got my revenge on that forest green guy who yelled at me that badly. I would be the one sticking a dildo down his throat.
29. Tell me something that desire that you can't accomplish by yourself; something that someone else has to do for you.
Bitchess: Umm..... I've never really accomplished anything.
30. What is your worst weakness?
Bitchess: Probably death.
31. What is your worst fear?
32. Name off five traits of your dream boy/girl?
Bitchess: (looks up) Really!?
33. What is your idea of the best day ever?
Bitchess: Same as my answer to question 27.
34. Who is your best friend?
Bitchess: Well I don't have a BEST friend, but two guys named Steve and Holly. Their okay but good to prank on.
35. Who is your worst enemy?
Bitchess: That fucking forest green guy.
36. Describe to me your most prized possession?
Bitchess: (pretends not to hear) Sorry what was that?
37. If you could make peace / friends with anyone right now, who would they be?
Bitchess: No one.
38. The president announces that the world will come to an end at midnight of the next day, and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Who would you want to spend the last day of humanity with, and what would you do?
Bitchess: Kill them so I can live alone.
39. What is the one thing you desire above all else as of today?
40. The UPS man leaves a box on your door when you aren't expecting any packages. You open it to find a fancy glass bottle that resembles something between women's perfume and a wine bottle; the label reads "SHALTEIR's Love Liquid." Who do you test it on and how do you sneak it to them?
Bitchess: Test it on those I hate.
41. You lover / best friend is announced dead via suicide. How do you react?
Bitchess: Forget about it.
42. You were walking alone through your local park come 11:24pm at night when out of the blue you get tackled from behind. What is you next move?
Bitchess: Shoot them right in the ass. (pulls a gun out) Want a demonstration?
YoshiRocker: Uhh, next question.
43. You're having a movie-at-home date tonight. When you go to blockbuster, what are your top three movie options that you and your date would probably enjoy?
Bitchess: I would enjoy Comedy, Action, and those Drama movies where the girl is a straight up bitch like me.
44. Back to reality… who are you the angriest at?
Bitchess: Mostly everyone.
45. What was the scariest moment of your life?
46. What was the best moment of your life?
Bitchess: (thinks) Yesterday when I killed a stripper.
47. What was the worst moment of your life?
Bitchess: The day I almost died thanks to that fore-
YoshiRocker13: His name is Wolf.
Bitchess: I DON'T CARE!!! (goes to camera) HE CAN SUCK MY VA- (screen goes black)
48. What was the saddest moment of your life?
Bitchess: Why would I be sad about anything.
49. How do you think you'll die / how did you die?
Bitchess: Next question.
50. What is your "theme song" – in your opinion, a friend's opinion, or your creators?
Bitchess: I would picture it as a bitchy theme.
YoshiRocker13: Alright that's done.
Bitchess: Good, suck my vagina, shit yourself and never come back. (walks away)