Bitchin' Birthday
Request for AndrewBrauer 17
Bitchin' Love
Air date 7-4-14
Written by AndrewBrauer & YoshiRocker13
Directed by AndrewBrauer
Location Earl Grey's Mansion and Strip Club
Other episodes by the author



 Jones decides to celebrate Bitchess' birthday with her by going out on the town, until Earl Grey uses them for an evil plan.



(Shows a montage of Jones and Bitchess in various sexual positions at each others places, as both are moaning sexual pleasure, this lasts for thirty seconds as it cuts to Jones meeting up with Jade and Rapper at a weapon shop)

Rapper: Hey look, it's lover boy. (laughs)

Jones: Whatever Rapper, I get more ass than you'll ever get.

Rapper: Then that proves your a sex toy to Bitchess.

Jones: Suck a dick Rapper.

Jade: All jokes aside, how is going with Bitchess?

Jones: It's going good, the sex is awesome as always. Plus her birthday is coming up.

Rapper: Hah! You should tell her you love her.

Jones: No, it's not like she'll want to hear that, I mean she's only turning twenty six, women that age don't know love.

Jade: But maybe you should do something special, and I'm not joking like Rapper.

Rapper: Not kidding here, just do crazy events. Like how about going to strip clubs?

Jones: Alright, she does like to do shit like that.

(Later, with Bitchess, she is in her room reading a sex book)

Jones: (Bursts through the door) Happy birthday bitch!

Bitchess: Heeey Jones! Glad you remembered.

Jones: Well well, tonight we're going to do more than blow candles and shit, tonight we're going to fuck shit up all over the city!

Bitchess: Aw sick! That is awesome! Like my ass.

Jones: First, you know that shitty strip club with the whores and overpriced drinks?

Bitchess: Yeah?

Jones: Grab my right hand, we're going there, to tear shit up!

Bitchess: Sweet! I'm gonna love this night! (grabs his right hand)

Jones: Hang on tight. (Jones flies out of Bitchess's room while holding Bitchess and see the strip club while in the air)

Bitchess: That's it down there!

(Jones flies straight down there and crushes a stripper when he slams right inside)

Jones: (Pulls out a baseball bat and hands another one to Bitchess) Time for you motherfuckers to die!

Bitchess: Yeah! Cuz this is OUR party now!

(Jones starts beating up the bouncers while Bitchess beats up a stripper with her fists)

Bitchess: Eat this bitch! (chugs the baseball bat down the stripper's throat)

(Jones and Bitchess walk out of the strip club as it explodes behind them)

Bitchess: Ownage.

Jones: Now, are there any stores that you hate?

Bitchess: Hmm...

(As Jones and Bitchess run off into the city, Earl Grey sees them while floating in the sky and looks interested)

Earl Grey: It seems those two cause a lot of awful events. (snickers) It's perfect!

(Jones and Bitchess find a diamond store that's closed)

Jones: You thinking what I'm thinking?

Bitchess: Totally.

(Jones uses his telekinesis to pick up a car and throws it against the store window, shattering it)

Bitchess: (laughs) These gems are all mine!

(Bitchess notices she's floating in the air)

Bitchess: What the fuck?! Jones! Cut it out dick!

Jones: It's not me? I got ya! (Grab's Bitchess's legs)

Earl Grey: Splendid! Now I have two for the price of one! (flies away with Jones and Bitchess)

Jones: Fucking Earl Grey!!

Earl Grey: Yes! Tis I! Eaarrrlll Greeeyy!!

Bitchess: Who the fuck is this jackass?!

Jones: A villain.

(Later, Jones are Bitchess are strapped against a table as Earl Grey approaches them)

Earl Grey: You two have just gave me my perfect plan for world domination!

Bitchess: Let us go you bitch!

Jones: Why the fuck you do you need us you British motherfucker?

Earl Grey: Yoouurrr bad attitude shall be used to make everybody in this town as bad and brute as my butlers! (pulls out a ray gun) Now I just need to suck this out of your head, to give people their bad behaviour!

(The ray gun then starts and slowly beams at Jones and Bitchess at the end of the table near their feet)

Bitchess: (screams) He's sucking the badness out of me! And it... actually tickles! (giggles)

Jones: Wait, you can laugh?

Bitchess: Yeah! Everytime I do something bad I laugh with evil!

Jones: Really?

Bitchess: Wait! I- I- (giggles) have an idea!

Jones: (Giggles) What?

Bitchess: Out of a- all the places you could have done it! Why did you do it near our feet?!

Earl Grey: Because all of your badness will come out right through your body.

Bitchess: Well please STOP! (laughs)

Jones: (Laughs) I... I don't think begging will help.

Bitchess: (wriggles still laughing) God damn it! Now we're going to die of laughter!

Jones: Well Bitchess! (Laughs) If we die, I have something I have to tell you.

Bitchess: What?! (laughs)

Jones: (Tries not to laugh) I... love you. (While being strapped to the table, tries to reach for Bitchess's left hand)

Bitchess: (ignores the tickling) Oh... Well... I- I... I love you too! (grabs his right hand)

Jones: Then let's figure out a way to get out of here.

Bitchess: (wriggles) God damn it!

(Bitchess wriggles strong enough, for the table to flip over and break, freeing the two.)

Jones: I'm free!! Now give us back our badness?

Earl Grey: (laughs) Your too late! I have the badness! Of course you still have yours, but now this will give it to everybody else!

Jones: No way motherfucker, that badness belongs to us! (Shoots his laser eye at Earl Grey)

Earl Grey: (laughs) Your laser has no affect on me! I am a robot!

Jones: Fuck! No wonder your a robot, your always getting your ass kicked by Batman and Bloser.

Earl Grey: SILENCE YOU PEASENT! (uses a ray gun and fires a red laser at Jones)

Jones: Nope! (Jumps up and avoids the laser)

Earl Grey: Ugh! Impossible! (fires more lasers)

Bitchess: What am I gonna do?! (notices a bucket of water) Wait a minute...

(Jones avoids the lasers, but one of them hits his chest and he falls on the ground in pain)

Jones: (In pain) Fuck! I could have dodged that!

Earl Grey: (growls) Say goodnight peasant.

Bitchess: Hey Earl Lame! You just got Ctrl Alt Deleted! (throws the water on him)

Earl Grey: What?! NOOOOO- (Earl Grey blows up, sending his parts everywhere. Bitchess grabs the ray gun with their badness)

Jones: Huh, now I know another weakness about robots

Bitchess: Alright, let's get this badness back inside of us.

Jones: How?

(Bitchess begins putting the badness back into their body)

Jones: Well that was close.

Bitchess: So, uh... did you really mean what you said before?

Jones: (Rubs the back of his head) Well... did you mean what you said as well?

Bitchess: Well uh... (blushes) maybe...

Jones: Okay... (Blushes) cause I meant it when I said it.

Bitchess: (gets closer to Jones) Well I admit I meant what I said.

Jones: Oh wow. (Grabs Bitchess) I do love you

Bitchess: Really? (blushes and puts her hand around Jones' head) I love you too.

(The two are about to kiss when they see a timer in the building)

Bitchess: Uhh, should we run?

Jones: Good idea. (Grabs Bitchess's hand and runs out of the building as it explodes)

Bitchess: Wow! That explosion was awesome

Jones: It's more awesome, with you. (Holds Bitchess's face and romantically kisses her lips for a long period of time)

The End


What did you think about Bitchin' Birthday?

The poll was created at 02:56 on July 5, 2014, and so far 5 people voted.


  • Bitchess' age is revealed to be 26.
  • It is now official that Jones and Bitchess are now a couple.
  • Was originally going to be released as the season finale, but was requested so much, that it was released early.
  • One of the rare times Bitchess actually showed love.


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