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Blue's Guide to Virginity
Season 1, Episode 4
4. Blue's Guide to Virginity
Air date 6/25/13
Written by IONIXMUSIC
Directed by IONIXMUSIC
Episode guide
Previous
Winner's Gambit
Next
Small Penis Advantages
Blue is gonna teach everybody how to survive being a virgin. And if you're not a virgin... don't read this. It isn't necessary.

Characters

  • Blue
  • Red

Transcript

(The adventure begins with Blue sitting in a big chair.)

Blue: Hello, everybody. I'm gonna teach you how to survive being a virgin.

B: So the first thing you have to do is to come to a realization that you will never get a girlfriend.

B: Coping with this fact can be hard, but you'll get over it quick.

B: Next delete all the pictures of your crush off your phone. They will just torment you for the rest of your life.

B: Okay now that you have the main stuff down, let's start my lecture.

(We now join Blue and Red in their apartment.)

Red: Dude, how many nails do we have?

Blue: Why?

Red: Cause I'm gonna be nailin' Stacy in a few minutes!

Blue: Man, not funny.

Red: Fuck yooou!

(Red goes out the door and slams it behind him.)

Blue: God dammit.

Red(behind door): Uh, Blue?

Blue: Yeah?

Red(behind door): I forgot my condoms!

Blue: Why do you need condoms?

Red(behind door): Stacy doesn't want to get pregnant yet!

Blue: Get them yourself!

Red(behind door): The door is locked from the inside!

Blue: Ugh...Fine.

Blue(on chair): Grabbing condoms for a friend can be a traumatizing experience if you haven't had sex yet.

(Blue grabs the condoms and examines them.)

Blue: Trojan XXL?

Red(behind door):Yep!

(Blue takes the condoms and slips them under the door.)

Blue: (crying) I'm so lonely!

Blue(narrator): Hey you pussy! Stop whining!

Blue: *sniffle* You're right. I will have sex with Pink!

Blue(narrator): That's the spirit! Now go stick your dick into her slit!

Blue: Alright!

(Blue leaves the apartment to go have sex with Pink.)

Blue: Now where is she?

Red: Hey bitch! I just got laid for like the 70th time!

Blue: Great. I'm gonna have sex for the 2nd time.

Red: Man, you're such a loner.

Blue: I know. I'm so ashamed.

Red: Well, I'm go take a shit!

(Red opens the door.)

Blue: Alright. Wait you were able to open the door the entire ti-

END.

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