|Blue No More|
I hate my life.
|Written by||YoshiRocker13 and Alpha-Lonewolf|
|Other episodes by the author|
Last Time on Dick Figures
Tired of being picked on and being treated like crap by his friends, Blue decides to run away to find a new home, And luckily he finds a city perfect for him. Meanwhile Pink & Fox convince the guys to help them find Blue.
- Blue People (semi-antagonists)
- Red (semi-antagonist until the middle)
- Rapper (semi-antagonist in the beginning)
- Pink (semi-antagonist in the beginning)
- Lord Tourettes
(Blue is seen walking down the street with a happy look until he runs into Red and he drops his beer)
Red: (cries) NOO!! Not my beer!
Blue: Dude, It's just beer.
Red: It was NOT just beer! It was my baby!
Blue: (deadpanned) Seriously?
(Red stands up and twists Blue's arms and kicks him down to the ground)
Blue: (groans) Why would you do that?!
Red: Cuz I'm AWESOME! (points) And you're not! (walks away)
Blue: (cries on the ground) Why?
(soon Blue is seen with a bandage on his arm but soon Rapper runs into him)
Blue: Rapper? What are you doing?
Rapper: Shut up! There are ninjas after me! I stole some chowmien from the Golden Lotus Dragon! (hides behind a wall)
Ninja: (sees Blue) What you doing here wet noodle?
Blue: I was talking to Rapper.
Ninja 2: The orange one!? (peeks behind wall and sees Rapper) There's the bandit!
(the ninjas attack Rapper. Seconds later Rapper is beaten up and angry at Blue)
Rapper: WHY would you tell them my name!?
Blue: I thought they didn't know your name.
Rapper: (shoots Blue's face) Fuck you loser!
Blue: (cries again) WHY!?
Rapper: Because your just a sad little loser. (walks away)
(time cut to Pink's house. Inside Pink is talking to Fox)
Pink: So then he was like "Oh, how I love you Pink." and then I was like "Your gonna keep doing that aren't you silly Blue?"
(Pink & Fox laugh and suddenly Blue walks inside)
Blue: Hey Pink, I was-
Pink: Blue! What are you doing here!? How did you even get IN here!?
Blue: The door was unlocked.
Pink: Oh yeah.
Fox: Is there something you needed?
Blue: I just wanted to make up for our last date ruined Pink.
Fox: Oh, should I leave you two then?
Pink: (to Fox) Wait. (to Blue) I just don't feel like speaking to you right now Blue.
Blue: But Pink-
Pink: (pushes Blue outside) I can't actually trust you with dates anymore! (slams door)
Fox: (angry) Pink! What was that!?
Pink: It's not my fault our dates are ruined! It's Red, Rapper and even Wolf's faults.
Fox: Then why the hell are you taking it out on Blue!?
Pink: (thinks) What was I doing?
Blue: (sighs and starts crying) Maybe she's right. I'm just a screwup to my friends. Everyone thinks I'm a loser and I mess things up! Maybe It would be better if I just go away. (stands up and leaves)
(Blue is seen with a bag leaving the city, the number on the population sign is minus by one, Blue keeps going and still looks upset)
Blue: They probably won't miss me. (cries)
(suddenly after a few short hours Blue is seen almost asleep and about to collapse)
Blue: I can make it there.
(Blue finally collapses on the ground and drops his bag when two shadows surround him, the next day Pink is seen knocking on Red & Blue's door, Fox walks up to Pink)
Fox: What are you doing?
Pink: I wanted to make up with Blue for yesterday but he's not answering.
Fox: I doubt he would be here with Red after how you treated him.
Red: (answers door) Sup sexy ladies?
Both: (annoyed) Hi Red.
Red: What can I do for such sexy ladies?
Fox: Not now Red. Have you seen Blue?
Red: Not since yesterday, but I found this weird note near his bed.
Rapper: (from inside) Looking for a note? I suggest you read it.
Red: We've read it and we both didn't care.
Rapper: But you ladies can read it. (hands Fox the note and she reads it)
Blue: (speaking when words are read) Dear friends, by the time you have read this note I've run away from this city to live a new life. Just saying that I won't be back, EVER. (Fox has a sad expression on her face) So just blame Red, Rapper and even Pink for making me feel this way. (Fox's face becomes angry) I'll miss you Fox, Lord Tourettes and maybe even Raccoon. From Blue, a.k.a the loser.
(Fox is outraged and picks up Red and Rapper in the air by their necks)
Red: (choking) HOLY SHIT!!! DON'T HURT ME!!!
Fox: Listen up the both of you! Blue has left because you guys have been treating him like shit. now all of you are going to help us find him and apologize to him sincerely, capiche!?
Rapper: O-Of course!
Fox: (drops them both and looks at Pink) You will do most of the apologizing when we find him.
Pink: I will, I will!
Red: Damn, i got to remember to not get on her bad side.
Rapper: Just how are we going to find him?
Fox: the traditional way, look.
(Meanwhile Blue wakes up in a hospital bed and two blue nurses see him awake)
Blue: (groans) Where am I? How did I get here?
Nurse 1: We found you on the ground out cold, so we decided to bring you in.
Nurse 2: Just what were you doing there?
Blue: I don't even know how I got here. Where am I?
Nurse 1: Your just in the hospital, we took you in.
Nurse 2: But your in the city known as Blue City!
Blue: Blue City? I never heard of that place.
Nurse 1: This is where all the blue people come to stay. It's an amazing place.
Nurse 2: In fact, you look like our long gone president.
Blue policeman: And we arrest all of the people who are not blue!
Blue: What? Why?
Blue policeman: Because this place is ONLY for blue people! In fact last week we arrested a green person with a santa hat.
Blue: (thinks) Santa hat? Wait, did this guy speak in a high pitched voice and spaz out when he swore?
Blue policeman: He sure did.
Blue: I know him. He's Lord Tourettes.
Blue person: (gasps) He IS our president!
(a bunch of blue people carry Blue to a giant stand)
Blue mayor: You my friend are our NEW president!
(everyone cheers as Blue smiles about his new life. Meanwhile the group arrive at Blue City and look up at the sign)
Fox: Hmm. Blue City.
Rapper: You think this is where Blue went?
Red: Ha! Sounds like a place for blosers.
Pink: (slaps Red) Knock it off!
Rapper: We might as well find the Blue we know.
Fox: I've heard of this place.
All: YOU DO!?
Fox: Wolf isn't the only person who travels a lot. this place only allows Blue people and are prejudice against other colored people.
Red: So these people are racist?
Rapper: Oh well, looks like we can't get Blue back. (walks off but Fox pulls Rapper back by the shoulder)
Fox: (threatens) Do you really want to get on my bad side?
Rapper: NO! Of course not! But how are we gonna get Blue back if we can't go in like this?
Pink: Paint ourselves blue?
(Fox sees a paint shack nearby)
Fox: What a coincidence.
(seconds later the group is all painted blue)
Red: Ugh! I look like a bloser!
Fox: In my opinion, you were always such a bloser.
(Meanwhile in Blue's mansion, he looks at a picture of the previous president, who looks exactly like Blue)
Blue: Wow. He looks exactly like me!
Blue guard: President Blue, you have 4 people here to see you.
Blue: Let them in.
(the group enter Blue's room and he stares in amazement)
(Fox motions a shushing gesture at Blue and points to the guard)
Blue: (whispers) What are you doing here?
Pink: (whispers) We've come to bring you home.
Fox: (pulls up Red and Rapper) And these two have something to say.
Red: Dude, we're-
Blue guard: Man it's hot. (turns on fan but the blue paint comes off) INTRUDERS!!! (three policemen run in and leap on the group)
Blue: What are you doing to them!?
Fox: Hey! Watch those hands!
Blue policemen: You 4 are coming with us!
(soon the group are thrown in the same cell L.T. is in)
Fox: Lord Tourettes? what are you doing here?
Lord Tourettes: I was just FUCKING around in this SHITTY city until these fine ASSHOLES put me in this jail. (cries)
Rapper: (sighs) This is all our faults Red.
Red: Lets say it's mostly your fault so I don't feel so guilty.
Pink: (cries) What was I thinking? I'm not the perfect girlfriend to Blue! I shouldn't have treated him this way!
Fox: (pats Pink's back) You are a good girlfriend for Blue, it's just that you need to think things through before you say them.
(suddenly Blue walks in and arrives at the cell)
Blue: Guys, we're gonna get out of here! (breaks open the cell and runs outside with them)
Blue policemen: Hey! Our president's helping them escape! GET THEM!
(two guards charge at the group and Red kicks them into a wall)
Red: You want some of this!?
Fox: Do any of you have a phone?!
Pink: I do!
(Fox quickly makes a call)
Blue: What was that for?
Blue policeman: You guys are coming with us! Including YOU president Blue!
Fox: Since they see you as a traitor, there is no reason to be concerned with this city.
Pink: Who did you call?
(the sound of two large planes is heard from above
Fox: I had Wolf send two AC-130's.
(explosions and rapid fire rained down from the sky as the two planes circled the city)
Red: Now let's get out of this shitty place!
(soon the group arrive back at their city)
Blue: Guys, I'm sorry I got you into this mess.
Pink: No Blue, we're sorry for having you run away.
Blue: Wait, really? Even after you treated me like crap?
Rapper: Yeah Blue, even I'm sorry. (hits Red) Apologise!
Red: Ugh fine, I'm sorry that I am always being an asshole around you.
Pink: But I'm mostly sorry for how I've always treated you.
Blue: Thanks guys.
(Pink & Fox hug Blue making Red jealous)
Red: How come HE gets the ladies!?
Lord Tourettes: (crying of happiness) This is so SHITTY!
Rapper: (rolls eyes) This sucks Red. I hate drama.
Red: Hey Fox! Do I get a reward for helping!?
Fox: Yeah, me not being mad at you anymore. Unless you want me to still be mad.
Red: No! Of course not!
(Fox lightly slaps Blue in the back of the head)
Blue: Hey what was that for?
Fox: For saying that I treated you like crap when I always was one to help you out.
Blue: I NEVER said you treated me like crap.
Fox: Really? (thinks) Oh yeah I remember
Red: Alright, I'm outta here. I hate drama.