|Bullies & Killers|
Are you my father!?
|Written by||YoshiRocker13 & CookieEyes|
|Other episodes by the author|
The Beginning of Red
Katorou, Rei, and Kari start bullying other DF characters. They all form a plan to get the bullies back and luckily Rapper knows the perfect plan.
- Lord Tourettes
- Katorou (antagonist)
- Rei (antagonist)
- Kari (semi-antagonist)
- Midnight Blaze (cameo)
(Lord Tourettes is skipping down the street humming a song)
Lord Tourettes: I like to FUCK! I like to SUCK!
(Katoru, Rei and Kari spot him)
Katorou: Now that guy will be perfect for our first victim in this country.
Rei: This better be much more fun than beating up the kids back in Japan.
Kari: I hope so too.
Rei: I wasn’t asking for your opinion, idiot!
Katorou: Whatever. Let’s go.
Lord Tourettes: Greetings new friends! (pulls out tea) May I offer you a FUCK or two?
Kari: Ooh! A tea party! (Rei punches her)
Katorou: Actually, we were wondering if you could offer us some money.
Rei: No singles though. (clenches a fist) Give us any singles, we break your legs.
Katorou: …Well, (points to Rei with his thumb) she’ll break your legs.
Lord Tourettes: (whimpers) But this is Wednesday's SHIT from the bank!
Rei: (sarcastic) Oh I’m sorry. We didn’t know we were supposed to give a fuck.
Katorou: Just hand it over, lady!
Lord Tourettes: (hands over wallet) Here! Here! Take it! Leave me alone!
Katorou: (takes the wallet) Thank you, now please; keep your mouth shut for the rest of your life. You sound like an old creaking door opening and closing.
(as the three run off, Wednesday walks by holding shopping bags and she spots Lord Tourettes crying on the ground)
Wednesday: (puts the bags down) Hey, what happened?
Lord Tourettes: (sniffs) Three BASTARDS stole my wallet!
Wednesday: What?! (grabs him by the shoulders) Where did they go?
Lord Tourettes: (sniffs) That way! (points to them running off)
(Wednesday glares at them.)
Wednesday: …Go get my taser
(Lord Tourettes runs off to grab Wednesday's taser, it now shows the three bullies staring at Red with 2 girls)
Katorou: (makes a horny laugh) I’d love to see those girls dance around a pole or something.
Kari: Uhh, otouto (Japanese for “little brother”)?
Rei: Dude, now is not the time to be a horny ass!
Katorou: (snaps out of it) Uhh, right! Time to humiliate the fuck outta that guy. Kari, distract him. Rei, try to sneak up behind him.
Rei and Kari: Got it! (run off)
Red: (stares) So, you two are twins?
Girl 1: Uhh yeah.
Red: Sexy baby.
(Girl 2 giggles)
(Kari runs up to Red and jumps into his arms.)
Kari: Ooh! I have a twin! I have a twin too!
Red: Well how about that? So tell me red Stacy. You like havin' sex?
Kari: (while Katorou is seen in the background facepalming) Who’s Stacy?
Red: My girl. You look just like that bitch. Only she's purple.
Kari: (gasps) Oh my God! Am I her daughter?! (gasps louder and puts a hand on Red’s cheek) Are you my father?!
(Katorou sits on the sidewalk and hides his face with his hands.)
Red: WHAT!? We're not even married yet bitch!
(Rei comes up from behind Red and pushes him to the ground, making him drop Kari. She then stomps on his back, holding him in place.)
Katorou: (kneels down next to Red) Well, when you do get married, make sure she’s rich, ‘cause if you don’t give us all the money you have, the lovely Miss Rei here will make you go crying to your precious bitch.
Red: You son of a bitches!
Girl 1: Wow, he's THAT pathetic?
Girl 2: Let's get out of here. (both walk off)
Kari: Yay! We did it! (hugs Katorou) We humiliated him, twin brother!
Katorou: (irritated) Please let go of me and never do this in public again.
(cuts to Blue & Pink sitting near a tree)
Blue: (sighs) Pink, this is perfect. No one here to bother us.
Pink: Let’s hope so. We wouldn’t want anyone to ruin this moment. (leans forward and puckers her lips, motioning Blue to kiss her)
Blue: Oh man this is it!
(Just when they’re about to kiss, Kari jumps down from the tree and lands in between them, making them both accidentally kiss Kari on the cheeks.)
Kari: Awwww! (blushes) You guys are so sweet!
Rei: (jumps down in front of them) So sweet, it makes me wanna puke.
Pink: What the fuck?! Who are you?!
Blue: Get out of here! We were about to kiss!
Katorou: (jumps down from behind Pink) Sorry, but we’re not leaving until you disgusting lovebirds give us all you got.
Kari: (gasps at Blue) Let’s see if he has any chocolates on him! (starts to reach into Blue’s pockets)
Blue: Get off of me you crazy bitch! (kicks Kari off him)
Katorou: (grabs Pink’s head and makes her look up at him) So, you come here often, Sakura?
Pink: Who—?! (shoves Katorou away) Go away, you asshole! (Rei grabs Pink by her shoulders.)
Rei: You shouldn’t have done that, Pinkie Pie.
Kari: (excited) Pinkie Pie! Where?!
Rei: (holds Pink up while grinning) Right here.
Katorou: (grins too) She has a freshly baked cupcake inside her shirt between her water balloons. It’d be best if you go get it before the wimpy blue guy does.
Kari: Yay! Cupcake! (tackles Pink to the ground)
Blue: (pissed) Hey! Leave her alone!
Kari: No! You’ll take away my cupcake!
Pink: I don’t have a fucking cupcake!
Kari: Katorou and Rei would never lie to me!
Katorou: (whispers to Rei) Yeah right.
Blue: (gets up and punches Kari, he then picks her up and throws her to Rei and Katorou knocking them both to the ground) You mess with Pink and you mess with me.
(The three bullies get up laughing and running off.)
Rei: This was a great idea after all, Katorou. This is just as fun as beating up the kids back in Japan.
Blue: (runs to Pink) Hey! Are you okay Pink? I got rid of those bastards.
Pink: (groans in frustration) I’m fine!
Blue: (sighs) I shouldn't have let this happen. I'm so sorry Pink. (walks off)
Pink: W-Wait Blue! It wasn’t your fault. (goes to catch up with him)
Pink: I said it wasn’t your fault. It was theirs!
Blue: Your right. It wasn't my fault. But we gotta do something about them.
(cuts to the people who were bullied having a talk with Blue & Pink)
Red: Those fuckers will pay!
Wednesday: “Pay” doesn’t seem like the right word for this. I think they should suffer instead.
Blue: Everyone relax! We'll find a way to get those bullies back! But how?
Red: Let's just KILL THEM!
Pink: Or perhaps we could somehow make them go back to their own country. One of them did say something about Japan as they were running off...
Rapper: (bangs down door) Yo! I have a better idea!
Rapper: Well I WAS a bully back in school. (glares) I have an idea!
(cuts to the three bullies taking money from a child)
Katorou: Thanks for the cash; now fuck off!
(Blue & Rapper peek from a bush)
Blue: Are you sure this'll work?
Rapper: Trust me.
(the three continue laughing while walking on the sidewalk)
Kari: (as the kid runs off) How much did we get?
Katorou: Boy…not very much at all.
Rei: These American people are poor as hell.
Katorou: But, hey, at least fucking Dylan didn’t show up.
Kari: Don’t you mean Midnight Blaze? (Katorou and Rei glare at her, then they both facepalm.)
Rei: DYLAN IS MIDNIGHT BLAZE, YOU RETARD!
(while walking, the three notice all of the street lights going off)
Kari: Alright! Darkness! Woo-hoo! (Katorou and Rei look at each other and shrug.)
(they hear a ghost noise and then they hear a gunshot followed by a rock thrown at Kari)
Kari: Ow! (kicks the rock) Fuck you too!
Katorou: Okay… Let’s just…keep going.
(Rei feels a touch on her shoulder)
Rei: (shaking) Ka…Katorou-kun?
Katorou: (turns to her) What? (looks up and gasps)
(Katorou is pushed to the ground, he looks back and no one is seen)
Katorou: (grabs Rei by the shoulders) Okay. There’s nothing here, okay? It’s nighttime. Lots of shit happens after dark!
Rei: Y-Yeah, but… (is accidentally hit by the rock) Hey!
(suddenly everything is completely turned dark sending the three into worry)
Dark Voice: Your time has come.
Katorou: (as Rei hides behind him) What time? Who are you?
Dark Voice: You have been bad people.
(they walk back frightened)
Kari: Of course we’ve been bad. We’re bullies.
Katorou: Aahh sh-sh-sh-shut up!
(the three walk back but all trip, when they look up they see Rapper with a mask holding a chainsaw)
Rapper: NOW I WILL BRING AS MUCH PAIN TO YOU MORE THAN WHAT YOU DID TO THOSE YOU BULLIED!!!!!
(three scream the shit out of them)
Katorou: (runs off) Let’s get the fuck outta here!
Rei: (follows him) I’m with you!
Kari: (follows) Byyyyyyyyyye!
(Midnight Blaze is seen on top of a building, recording the bullies running away with her video camera.)
Midnight Blaze: (chuckles) Wait 'till the guys at school see this.
(Rapper, Red & Lord Tourettes crack up laughing and Lord Tourettes picks up the wallet he lost)
Wednesday: Well, that takes care of them.
Pink: Let’s hope so.
Blue: (laughs) Now me and Pink can resume our date!
Pink: Come on, Blue. Let’s go back to that tree.
(they sit back at the tree)
Blue: (blushes) So uh, want to get back to what we were doing?
Pink: (chuckles) Sure. (leans in for a kiss)
Blue: (prays) Please don't let anything happen. Please! (leans in for a kiss)
Kari: (watches them from inside a bush) They’re so sweet…
Katorou: (grabs Kari) Come one! (drags her out) We’re going back home. Hopefully, no one at school will know what happened to us here.
Rei: Let’s hope to God! If anyone finds out, we’ll probably be humiliated for life!
(Blue & Pink finally touch lips as the sun sets, Lord Tourettes cries happily)
Rapper: Man I hate Drama.