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Crappy Valentine's Day

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Crappy Valentine's Day
Request 7
Air date June 2013
Written by YoshiRocker13, Alpha-Lonewolf and Fluffydragonpuppy
Other episodes by the author

Fortune of Luck

Dragged to Hell

 Today is Valentine's Day and every guy is having a good time with their girlfriends. However Wolf hates Valentine's Day and Fox expects him to do something nice for her. But does Wolf have the chance, especially when he's a crazy killer?

Characters

Transcript

(Blue is seen giving Pink some chocolate)

Blue: Happy Valentine's Day Pink!

Pink: (touched) Oh Blue, you're spoiling me!

Blue: What do you mean about that, Pink?

Pink: Well look behind me. (Blue sees all the other gifts he gave Pink) I know you really like me Blue but you can't just waste all your money on me.

Blue: (laughs nervously) Oh yeah.

Pink: I just hope you learn that lesson.

Blue: Okay.

Pink: Come here you! (pulls Blue to her and they start kissing)

(scene cut to Red & Stacy having sex in bed while tongue kissing)

Stacy: This is like the best Valentine's day EVER!

Red: We've been making out for the WHOLE day!

Stacy: So let's keep sexing and making!

Red: Is sexing even a word? (shrugs) Ah what the fuck. (continues tongue kissing Stacy)

(shows 2 Street Artists running and keep shooting behind them, as seen they are trying to shoot Wolf)

Street Artist 1: Back off puto! You never stop us from stealing burritos!

Wolf: You can't run forever! I will see blood shed today! (pulls out a mounted mini gun)

Street Artists 2: Look! He has Mini gun!

Street Artist 1: Shit!

Wolf: Say hello to my special friend and he has brought a party of over nine thousand! (starts firing crazily)

Street Artist 2: (gets shot) Fuck!

Street Artist 1: Nooooo!! (pulls out a bomb and throws it near Wolf who dodges it but when the smoke clears the Street Artist is not seen)

Wolf: (uses high senses to waits and listens for a certain smell or sound)

(Fox comes up behind Wolf but Wolf pulls a knife out in Fox's face)

Wolf: Fox! what the fuck?! I could have killed you!

Fox: Wolf! Could I actually ask why you just knifed me in the face!?

Wolf: I'm hunting a couple of avocados.

Fox: What?!

Wolf: Two Guadalajarans who are still very green. (finds a blood trail) And I think they're bleeding guacamole.

Fox: Do you know what day it is?

Wolf: I'm guessing It's Saturday.

Wolf: Um, well I usually take a killing spree on a weekend.

Fox: Are you kidding me?

Wolf: If I was, I would be laughing.

(while talking to Fox, Wolf suddenly sees the Street Artists and tries to chase them but is still talking to Fox)

Fox: (face palms) It's Valentines Day!

Wolf: Well good for him.

Red: Are you fucking kidding me!?

Wolf: Well like I told Fox; if I was kidding, I'd be laughing. (pounces on Street Artist from the roof)

Red: Yo Fox! In case Wolf forgets about you, (pulls out chocolates) Happy Valentine's Day! As a friend!

Fox: Aw thanks Red. You see Wolf! Even Red knows what to do on Valentine's day!

Red: So do something nice for her, dumbass! But if you happen to change your mind on the whole friends issue... (Sees Fox's stern stare) Uh nevermind.

Wolf: Wait you are saying I have to be a pussy like Red and buy something sweet and mushy?

Red: Hey!

Fox: Just at least give me something that says you care about me like you would a sister.

Red: Well come on dude! It's just something nice for Fox! Go buy flowers or chocolates for her or something!

Wolf: Those gifts are what vaginas buy. I'm going to get something that a man would give.

Fox: Oh great I can't wait to see this.

(Wolf looks for Rapper)

Rapper: Sup Wolf my man!

Wolf: Cut the shit. I need to know where there is a massive gang meeting.

Rapper: Well there's one going on at Red & Blue's apartment.

(at the apartment it shows L.T. Raccoon, Trollz0r and Blue all talking about Valentine's Day when Wolf starts scaling the bulding the listening to the voices through the window)

Blue: So guys, how was Valentine's Day for you?

Lord Tourettes: Lady Tourettes was the FUCK of my dream!

Raccoon: Varentine's Day reminds me of my wife.

Trollz0r: (Rage face) I don't have a girlfriend! (Forever alone face) This day is just a sad day for me!

Blue: So before we end this day, let's say our moto. It's Valentine's Day and no matter who we're with, a girlfriend or a sister like friend, you must make that girl happy and buy some nice things for them, make them feel happy, but most inportantly: Make sure they have a great time. (Wolf overhears this) Alright guys let's get out of here.

Wolf: (smiles mischievously) This will do. (heads down to the ground. Fox sits in a park on the grass. Then she sees Wolf coming over but is skeptical when she sees that he has nothing in his hands.)

Fox: (crosses arms) Well what is it?

Wolf: Have I planned a little something for you.

Fox: What did you do?

(Back at the apartment)

Blue: Urg! why won't this door open!?

Trollz0r: Let's get Mr. Dingleberry!

Lord Touretters: Of course. That ASSHOLE must have the FUCKING keys to the VAGINA!!!

(Dingleberry comes with the keys)

Mr. Dingleberry: Now which one of you assholes locked the front door?

(Turns the key and it triggers a bomb. The explosion could be seen from the park and the cloud resembles a heart.)

Wolf: I wanted to give you a blast for Valentines Day Fox.

Fox: (Furrows her eyes at Wolf but she can't help but smile) Oh Wolf, What am I going to do with you?

Red: (throws thumbs up at Wolf) Nice going Wolf.

Wolf: Keep me on you're good side. (remembers) Speaking of which, I have to go hunt down an amigo I left behind (cocks gun and runs off)

(now it shows Broseph with Emily)

Broseph: (gives Emily new One Direction CDs) Happy Valentine's Day bacon.

Emily: Eek! He called me bacon! (faints)

Broseph: Uhh Emily? Well now I have to give my valentine to Wednesday as well.

-Episode Ends-

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The poll was created at 04:55 on June 9, 2013, and so far 5 people voted.

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