|Crazy Is Golden|
Shut Up You're Not Important!
|Written by||Alpha-LoneWolf, YoshiRocker13, Mdkid663|
|Other episodes by the author|
Epic Dating Fail
Long Lost Idiot
Just when Wolf thinks he has enough problems with Fifi's obsession over him, life can be even more cruel with another obsessed girl.
(Bruce is with Fifi at the Cookie Shop)
Fifi: (being carried by Bruce) Brucy, Brucy Moosey! I love Brucy Goosey!
Bruce: (sighs) I'm so happy that Fifi is finally my gir- Uh, I mean Burrito.
Rapper: Yeah well just wait til Snake finds out
(Just then a TV in the corner of the store starts the news)
Rapper: Looks like the news is coming on.
Bruce: Oh great, what has Wolf done now?
Reporter: Once again the man named Wolf has struck again starting to attack the city in his cyborg suit
Bruce: Oh that explains the rampage outside.
(Shows a recording of Wolf taking down heavy war machines to stop him)
Gold girl: Oh my God! who is that guy!
Rapper: That is Wolf, a crazy war guy who kills people.
Gold girl: really? how many people has he killed?
Rapper: (checks his list) OVERKILL!
Bruce: What is that like a million?
Rapper: Close enough.
Ryle: (shows up) Wolf's killing again.
Gold girl: OMG I AM IN LOVE!!!
Ryle: (notices) Umm, who the fuck are you?
Gold Girl: Goldie. who the fuck are you?
Goldie: that was a rhetorical question. I don't give a fuck about you. YOU'RE NOT IMPORTANT!
Ryle: Whoah, what's with you?
Goldie: I just saw an angel of perfection and I need to write his name on my skin. (Gets a knife to carve Wolf's name on her arm) Now we can always be together. WE CAN ALWAYS BE TOGETHER! AH HA HA HA HA!
Fifi: (Hides behind Bruce) Scary girl.
Bruce: It's okay Fifi, I'll protect you.
Goldie I need to find more about Wolf! Where do I look?!
Ryle: (to Rapper) What's with this woman?
Fifi: I know where to find Wolf's stuff.
Goldie: (Pushes Fifi against a wall with her bloodied knife at her) TOUCH WOLF AND I'LL CUT YOU BITCH!!!
Bruce: HEY!!! LEAVE MY TACO ALONE BEFORE I CUT YOUR BRAIN OUT!!!
Ryle: (whispers) Talk about psycho.
Rapper: (whispers) Tell me about it.
Goldie: (Stabs Bruce in the leg) All who get in my way of Wolf will bleed like a pig!
Ryle: (whispers) Yeah right.
Bruce: (puts bandage on his leg) Crazy bitch.
Rapper: You know what!? That's fine by me! Come on guys! We're leaving!
Ryle: Yeah. (leaves)
Bruce: Same here. (leaves with Fifi)
Goldie: (Blocks their way holding the knife she stabbed Bruce with) Oh no you don't. You're going to tell me where to find Wolf's stuff. cuz if you don't I will hunt you down and when you sleep at night i will skin you to soak you're beds with every ounce of your blood and then I will cut myself and EVERYONE ELSE AROUND!!!
Rapper: FINE!! Wolf lives in a forest in a cabin! It's the only cabin there! NOW LEAVE US ALONE BEFORE I CUT YOUR HEAD OFF WITH MY SWORD!!!
Ryle: It's your funeral anyway.
Goldie YOU DON'T MATTER TO ME YOU CITRUS ORANGY FAGGOT!!! (Runs off crazily) I'm coming my love!
Rapper: (shakes in rage) As of today, she is now my most hated bitch.
Ryle: (cracks his knuckles) You think.
(later Goldie makes it to Wolf's house and breaks in)
Goldie: OMG! I can't believe I am in his house!
(runs around rubbing herself on his things and taking pictures and samples of what ever he has eaten)
Goldie: I want you to touch my marks Wolf. Touch them when you return and fill your dreams with me in every moment you dream of!
(Goldie continued to go through his clothes and put them on after stripping naked from heavy clothing all the way down to his underwear and even his dirty laundry)
Goldie: I will suck you in where ever you are and soon you will suck me in when you wear these clothes again!
(Then the door opened and she saw Fox standing there shocked and very disturbed at what she saw)
Fox: Who! The Heck! Are You!?
Goldie: Who! The Fuck! ARE YOU BITCH!?!
Fox: I live here with Wolf and you are in the wrong place at the wrong time you crazed bimbo!
Goldie: WHAT!?! NO GIRL GETS TO BE THAT CLOSE WITH MY FUTURE HUSBAND BUT ME!!! (pulls out a knife) I will gut you and hang you as a trophy!
Fox: (Stomps on the ground and prepares to fight) You just crossed the line you freak.
(Shows the outside of the house. As they fight, the screen shakes with every crash that is heard and flashes of light are seen in the windows and sounds of cats, lions, and gun fire sound out. Soon Goldie crashes out the door and into a pile of mud as Fox tackles after her and gets her in a head lock from behind with both their clothes ripped and hanging off slightly)
Wolf: (Comes in staring frozen in place at what is just happening) What... the fuck?
Shawn: (shows up) Hey Fox have you se- What in the icy fuck!?
Goldie: (Sees Wolf with hearts in her eyes and mouth wide) My Man!
Fox: Not today you creep! (Super kicks Goldie far out into the sky and away)
Shawn: What's with that woman?
Wolf: (still doesn't move) uh... what? just, what?
Fox: (tries to fix her clothes and brushes the mud off) It looks like you have a crazed fan girl Wolf.
Ryle: (comes in and chuckles) Man, life can't be alway's sweet.
Rapper: So you've now got one girl off your back and another on it.
Wolf: Why does shit happen to me?
(Meanwhile with Goldie, She then lands on Grox as he sits at a cafe drinking coffee)
Grox: (Faceplants into his cup of coffee on the table) ... (Sparks coming from the back of his head) ...Ow...
Goldie: Damn that fucking whore slut prostitute! I will rip off her skin and wear it as a trophy!
Grox: ...Wh- who are you t- talking about..?
Goldie That fucking bitch living with my man Wolf!
Grox: ...Um... F- Fox...?
Goldie: NOW I KNOW THE NAME OF WHO I WILL CUT AFTER I CUT MYSELF AND BATHE IN BOTH OUR BLOOD!!!
Grox: .... (Knocks her out with the remains of his plate and left)
Goldie: (Mumbles unconsciously) Miss Goldie Wolf... i love it.
COMMENT YOUR POLL VOTE
- 1/5 Unicorn Barf!
- 2/5 It was like Meh.
- 3/5 I guess it was... pretty good.
- 4/5 This is like crazy right?
- 5/5 CUZ I'M AWESOME