Create a New Life
Air date 05-02-14
Written by Alpha-LoneWolf
Directed by Alpha-LoneWolf
Location Drunken Bear Tavern
Other episodes by the author

Shopper War




Here is my own story to entering the universe of Dick Figures.


(I was adding more content to my OC's and it was late at night. I was very sleepy but wanted to get it done. just as I was about to publish I fell asleep and landed my face on the keyboard and published it. Next thing I knew I was waking up on a street but everything lost it's colors and was outlined in grey lines. I dusted myself off to see that I was completely Green and had a stick body. I did look slimmer but this was no time to dwell on that. I started to see some more stick figures and then realized either two things. this was a dream or I was in Dick Figures. The first idea was blown to pieces when I punched myself and it hurt like hell. Knowing that anything bad could happen I did the only thing I knew that I could do)

Alpha: TAXI!

(a taxi car stopped and I told him to take me to the Drunken Bear Tavern. After arriving there later I braced myself and jumped in and slid to avoid the welcoming punch and crawled to safety at the counter eith a sigh of relief)

Alpha: That was close. Good thing I know about what I make.

Lad: Can I get you something wee laddie?

Alpha: (I was never more happy to see someone I could trust) Lad! Thank god I ran into you first.

Lad: (confused) Uh, Do I know you?

Alpha: (there was no way to prove it and lying about it would make more trouble later) I am your creator, Alpha-LoneWolf.

Lad: (Thinking Alpha crazy) Eh, sure you are wee laddie! How about a nice drink to help you with you're fantasy?

Alpha: Look, you can make magic runes in a secret basement below, you first met Wolf by fighting him  on a bridge while Fifi watched, Your niece's name is Lass and she is a huge faan of Wolf, You were the muscle in the matrix to help Wolf complain about the tacos you ordered from Taco Bell, and I could go on and on but that would take too long.

Lad: (stared amazed at what Alpha said) Fox!

(I thought to myself, "Ah shit" I knew she was very hot and didn't really effect me as I drew her but now being here I knew she would have a complete charm over me with her extreme beauty)

Fox: (walks up) What is it Lad?

(Lad whispers to her and her eyes widen as he finishes what he heard from me. Fox then turns me to look straight at her as my face burns a deep red)

Fox: Who are you?

Alpha: Please I know you are going to seduce me to tell the truth but I am telling it right now. I am your creator. I even helped you with you quiz. I'm sorry I made the girl turn lesbo on you but that is how hot I made you.

Fox: (Surprised) You really are telling the truth aren't you?

Alpha: yes and plus I don't want Wolf coming in seeing you seducing me and getting the wrong idea and end up killing me.

Lad: He must be telling the truth to admit that.

Fox: One question.

Alpha: yeah?

Fox: Why did you make me so hot?

Alpha: (I blushed. I mean who wouldn't) I don't know, I guess I just wanted to make you very special.

Lad: Smoothe wee laddie.

Alpha: Please don't make this worse. But it
also made you the most well liked person.

Fox: Well I guess should thank you. but why all the deaths from over exposure to my hotness?

Alpha: I don't really know now that I think about it. but it's too late to redo it. Sorry.

Fox: oh well. So how did you get here?

Alpha: I don't know? I was about to publish something about you guys until i fell asleep and I came here. I don't know how to make anything else for you guys if  I'm stuck here.

Lad: You're the creator! Can't you still do something?

Alpha: Oh yeah like say that a cup of water appears out of no where in my hand and... (A cup of water soon appeared in my hand out of nowhere just like I said) Holy shit.

Fox: looks like you have the ability to control what goes on here.

Alpha: You mean I am like...

Fox: But only with the things you created. not anyone else's.

Alpha: Crap. So where could I live now?

Fox: I don't think Wolf would allow anymore people in our house.

Wolf: (Behind them) And why not?

(I was surprised not only because he was there the whole time, but he was willing to let me stay at his house)

Alpha: Why would you do that?

Fox: (suspicious) yeah why?

Wolf: Hello? He just could alter our lives by saying it. just think how useful he could be.

Fox: So you are taking adventage of his gift then?

Wolf: Uh yeah why not?

Alpha: Why did I make you such a dick Wolf?

Wolf: I don't know but excellent job on that. Now let's go home I got work for you to do.

Alpha: And why should I?

Wolf: Because I saw how you stared and blushed at Fox and know you wouldn't mind at all.

Alpha: (I blushe again) Well I am more comfortable around her I guess.

Wolf: plus if you don't I won't mind breaking everybone in your body and breaking your jaw so you can't talk to save yourself.

Alpha: (I gulp down hard at the threat and nod) Okay lets do it your way without the violence.

Wolf: (pats my head) Good boy.

(After getting settled down in my new home, Fox shows me around amd tells me where everything is. I set up my room and prepare myself for sleep after such a long day. Soon I know this is the start of an epic life for me in Dick Figures)



  • 1/5 Unicorn Barf!
  • 2/5 It was like Meh.
  • 3/5 I guess it was... pretty good.
  • 4/5 This is like crazy right?

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