|Darker and Edgier (and Sluttier)|
|Season 3, Episode 7|
Morons from Another Dimension!
(Suzan is in a group meeting with the rest of the members of VAGINAS.)
Suzan: Okay, listen up people! Derek is now a father, so we have to upgrade our image.
Ianthe: To what?
Suzan: Something darker.
(They all gasp.)
Suzan: Something edgier!
(They are gasp louder.)
Suzan: Something SLUTTIER!
(They all faint.)
Suzan: Okay, okay. I know it might seem weird, but we need to upgrade so we can seem out of style.
Amy: Why do we need to go out of style? Doesn't that make us worse fighters?
Suzan: No, it makes us better and more intimidating fighters, so nobody would want to touch us.
Georgia: Okay, Suzan, you just want this because you're a mother now, right?
Suzan: Kinda, yeah.
Nicole: Wow, Suzan. It's all about you now, selfish bitch.
Suzan: It's not about me! It's about Derek! You know, the person who started this organization!
Absinthe: Well, she has a point.
Suzan: See, Absinthe gets it!
Absinthe: Okay, don't sugar coat it.
Nicole: Alright, fine. So where are the outfits?
Suzan: Oh, I'll get the outfits, just wait right here.
(She runs off.)
Ianthe: Oh, this is gonna be good.
1 HOUR LATER
(Suzan runs back with black, skimpy outfits.)
Ianthe: Oh my fucking god...
Suzan: I know, cool, right?
Ianthe: No, those are the worst outfits I've ever seen.
Suzan: Oh, you'll get used to it.
Ianthe: I beg to differ.
(The girls begin to get into the outfits, in a cheesy 90's dress-up montage.)
Suzan: To fit the skimpy-ness quota!
Nicole: You know, most of the time I can deal with your bullshit, Suzan. But now...this is too much.
Suzan: Well, it's not like you don't come up with bullshit too.
Violet: Yeah, I can agree with Suzan on that.
Suzan: Oh hey, Violet! I did not know you were here!
Violet: ...Fuck you, Suzan.
Suzan: All right, we all geared up?
(Cut to the girls, sloppily dressed in the suits.)
Ianthe: I feel violated.
Suzan: Well, that's the point.
Georgia: So what are going to do with the suits?
Suzan: We're going to have a meeting with the DICKS crew!
Georgia: With the suits on?
Georgia (head in hands): Oh god this is going to be a train wreck.
(Suzan and the rest of the gang hop out a window, and head for DICKS HQ. As the run to the door, they're interrupted by Samuel.)
Samuel: What's up, Suzan? (pause) Okay...what's with the outfits?
Suzan: We're trying for a darker, edgier and sluttier look.
(Samuel scans Suzan from head to toe.)
Samuel: I see. So you think that dressing up in tight, spandex body suits with utility belts and camel toes will make you seem "edgy" and "dark"?
Suzan: Well, yeah.
Samuel: *sigh* All right. You can go in.
(Suzan runs into the HQ.)
Suzan: Hey, Derek!
(Derek sees Suzan in the suit, and he gets embarrassed.)
Derek: Oh my fucking god, Suzan.
Suzan: What, you don't like my suit?
Derek: No! I don't! That is completely inappropriate for the baby to see!
(Suzan turns from excitement to sadness.)
Suzan: What the hell, Derek?
Derek: Listen, Suzan. I...actually care about this child!
Derek: Okay, I used to not care about him. But, now that I got to hang around with him, I...really like 2.
Suzan: You got to be kidding me.
Derek: Hey, you had this child! I could've not even cared this baby, but I didn't. And if you don't care about him...then...I don't think that we can work out anymore.
Derek: I think we should see other people.
(Suzan hangs her head down, and walks out the door.)
Issac: Damn, dude. That was harsh.
Derek: Well, if she can't care for this child, then I can.
Issac: That's your choice, man.
(Derek sits down back in his chair.)
Derek: Hey 2.
(2 looks up at Derek.)
Derek: Don't worry, 2. Things will be alright.
(2 smiles at Derek.)