Derek Makes a Return
Season 1, Episode 7
7. Derek Makes a Return
Air date 6/27/13
Directed by IONIXMUSIC
Episode guide
Derek Strikes Back
A Small Step for Sex
Derek is back with his follow DICKS on an epic adventure. Meanwhile, Suzan and her fellow VAGINAS plot to stop the DICKS dead in their tracks.


  • Derek and the D.I.C.K.S
  • Suzan and the V.A.G.I.N.A.S


(On our last adventure, Derek was accepted into the D.I.C.K.S. Now, he has to face a mission that nobody would expect.)

Derek: I have to kill the president?! Are you mental?!

Suzan: No. This is serious. We need you to travel to D.C. to assassinate the president.

Issac: Alright! Let's go all JFK up in this bitch!

Cameron: Hey genius, who's gonna be running all 50 states afterwards?

Suzan: Us! All of us!


Derek: Okay, now you're really mental.

Suzan: Listen, we have intellegence far greater than any normal leader. We can overpower the government and send peace and rights throughout the U.S!

Kaleb: Alright, that sounds like a good plan, but there's one thing wrong. How in the hell are we gonna get into the White House undetected?!

Suzan: Simple.

(Suzan lays out a blueprint on a table.)

Suzan: We go at night. Choke the guards with poison gas and head towards the main office. Secondly, stealth your way towards the Presidental Bedroom and kill the President in his sleep.

Samuel: And how are we gonna get to D.C?

Suzan: Train!

Derek: Train. We are going from California to Washington D.C by train.

Suzan: Yup! Sound simple?

Kaleb: Oh yeah it's simple! Hey while you're at it, can you get The Three Stooges to op in for us?

(The D.I.C.K.S sit down on a couch.)

Suzan: I'm completely serious!

Samuel: O RLY? Can you tell us which train we're riding then?

Suzan: Any!

Derek: Suzan, do you know what it's like to be an assassin?

Kaleb: First of all, it's more than just go to that place, go to this place, boom, done.

Cameron: It requires special training and great intellegence.

Absinthe: Hey dude, stop yelling at us girls!

Kaleb: Hey dyke stereotype, get a life!

(A single tear runs down her face with sad music in the background.)

Derek: Well if we don't think of a better plan we'll be stuck here forever!

Samuel: Alright. We'll go by plane.

D.I.C.K.S: Woo! Best idea ever!

Violet: (whispering to Suzan) Why didn't you think of that before?

Suzan: Ugh...

Issac: Let's go!

(The D.I.C.K.S jump out a window, breaking it.)


Suzan: *sigh...* Why don't we just kill them?

Ianthe: Wasn't that the entire point of you hiring him?

Suzan: I guess so. So how are we gonna kill them?

Amy: I got a plan.

(Amy puts a blueprint on top of the other one.)

Amy: Okay so...


Amy: And that's my master plan.

Ianthe: Sweet. Let's go!

(They head towards the door until...)

Suzan: Wait! Can we do a quick review?

Georgia: Suzan...can you...stay behind?

Suzan: What?!

Georgia: I'm sorry...but you're so slow!

Suzan: Oh yeah. Blame the zombie for being slow.

Georgia: No, I meant slow at learning and adapting subjects.


Suzan: Fine! I'll stay back!

Georgia: Great.

(All of them except Suzan leave.)

Suzan: *sniff...*

Suzan: Dicks.

(Her eyes start glowing red with fire.)

Suzan: We'll see who's the slow one.


What did you think of this episode?

The poll was created at 22:53 on June 27, 2013, and so far 1 people voted.

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