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Derek Strikes Back
Season 1, Episode 6
6. Derek Strikes Back
Air date 6/26/13
Written by IONIXMUSIC
Directed by IONIXMUSIC
Episode guide
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Small Penis Advantages
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Derek Makes a Return
Derek gets over Sylvia and is accepted into a clan. But will it blend?

Characters

Transcript

(Our adventure begins with Derek at the MaulMart.)

Cashier: Okay, that will be $99.78.

Derek: Alright, here's my credit card.

Cashier: Thank you. (leaves.)

Derek: Wow. I'm a retard.

(Outside of store.)

Derek: Okay, bacon, chocolate, beans, monkey heads, mac and che-

Suzanleebeel: Hi, Derek!

Derek: Oh, Hi Suzan.

Suzan: How much did that stuff cost you?

Derek: My entire credit card.

Suzan: Ouch. What have you been up to?

Derek: Not much. I just woke up.

Suzan: Oh. Well, sorry for bothering you.

Derek: Don't worry about it. I got to get home before these things get warm.

Suzan: Wait. I have something to tell you.

Derek: What?

Suzan(whispering): Did you murder Sylvia?

Derek(whispering): Yeah...

Suzan(whispering): And...your an assassin, right?

Derek(whispering): Correct.

Suzan: Come to my place. I have some people waiting to meet you.

Derek: Alright then.

(10 Minutes Later...)

Suzan: Derek, I would like to introduce you to the league known as V.A.G.I.N.A.S.

Derek: Vaginas? Really? That seems a bit childish.

Suzan: Well I didn't make it up. Anyway our league is made up of 7 people.

Suzan: Violet, Amy, Georgia, Ianthe, Nicole, Absinthe, and of course, Suzanleebeel.

Derek: Your name sticks out like a sore thumb, you know that right?

Suzan: Well, you don't have to say the "leebeel" part if you don't want to.

Derek: Okay then. So why do you want me here?

Suzan: I wanted you here to tell you that there actually is a divison of VAGINAS for boys.

Derek: Let me guess. It's called D.I.C.K.S.

Suzan: Yup! Let me introduce you to the members.

Suzan: Issac, Cameron, Kaleb and Samuel.

Suzan: We don't have a "D" person to fill in the name, so I got you!

Derek: Well, you needed the D, and you got it!

(Ba-dum tish.)

Suzan: Anyway your first mission is to track down a loose criminal that just recently robbed a bank.

Samuel: Robbing banks? Really?

Issac: Dude. The police can handle that. We're professional assassins.

Kaleb: Why not give us something exciting to do or kill?

Suzan: Okay, fine. Go steal a Pepsi truck, and bring the contents back here.

D.I.C.K.S Members: ALRIGHT!

DICKS: We'll be right back!

(They all leave.)

Nicole: Won't they get into trouble?

Suzan: Oh yeah. But thats all part of the plan...Hehehe...

(DICKS slam open the door.)

Issac: We're back!

Derek: And we brought Pepsi!

Samuel: Superior soda!

Cameron: WOO! HOUSE PARTY!

(They drink sodas and light up blunts.)

Derek(stoned): Bro, Suzan. You gotta try...this.

Suzan: Sorry, I don't smoke crack.

Derek(stoned): Whaeva! Yo missin out...Partay boyeees!

DICKS: Aww yeaaaah!

Suzan: This is gonna take a while.

Nicole: Definitely. 

END.

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