|Dine And Dash|
|Written by||Panda-warrior1995 & AndrewBrauer|
|Other episodes by the author|
A Bright Day
The group goes out to lunch, but things go wrong when no one brings money, and they are forced to dine and dash.
(Jade, Jones, Twilight, Randy, Don, Hope, Nate, Jacob, Allen, and Zendora are all eating lunch at a restaurant)
Jade: So Don, it's nice to meet your friends for the first time.
Don: Yeah, but don't get too comfortable with them. They're a lot crazier than they seem.
Jade: Try hanging out with my friends. Jones: Yeah, we're crazy. Twilight: I'm pretty much the only sane one.
Randy: You bitches are stupid and... (Suddenly becomes happy) Wonderful! (Giggles)
Hope: Am I supposed to be offended by that?
Jade: Hey, your meeting my friends for the first time, you guys can't be worse.
Don: Well maybe you're right--
Zendora: WHY THE FUCK IS THE EARTH FOOD BURNT! (Throws a knife at the waiters head)
Don: Never mind.
Jade: I like Zendora.
Zendora: And why would you not? After all I am amazing.
Hope: Easy Zen, don't get too cocky.
Nate: Wow. I've never heard anything that hypocritical.
1Jones: (To Nate) Really Grease hair? I'm super hypocritical.
Nate: Okay, could everyone just stop making fun of my hair?
Allen: I dunno dude, I mean, you could stab a man with it.
Jacob: You're really not one to talk.
Hope: Can we just agree that all of you have stupid hair?
Jade: Yes, but I have the biggest boobs.
Jones: And I have the biggest dick.
Don: (Sarcastically) Petty we don't have measuring tape.
Nate: Actually I some from work.
Jade: Alright, that was a good lunch. (Burps)
Hope: Yeah. And thanks for paying, Don.
Don: What? I-- I NEVER SAID I WAS PAYING!
Jones: Anyone brought any cash?
(Everyone remains quite for a moment)
Jacob:.. I have a coupon for a free kids meal.
Twilight: I left my wallet with my boyfriend Henry.
Randy: I don't even have a wallet.
Don: No one thought to bring anything?
Jacob: Hey, I'm an artist, I'm broke. And Hope told us that you where paying.
Don: So, (To Hope) IT'S YOUR FAULT!
Hope: Ey, you didn't bring anything either.
Don: WELL I... Damn it! fuck you.
Jade: So, what do we do?
Jones: I don't know, but I gotta go take a dump. (Gets up and walks to the bathroom)
Nate: So, how fucked are we right now?
Hope: Can't be as bad as what we normally go through.
Jade: Yeah, you can say that... (They all hear their car leave with Jones in it) Ah shit!
Twilight: There goes our ride home.
Hope: Why don't we just do what he did?
Jacob: I'M NOT GOING TO DINE AND DASH!
Jade: Yeah we can't, I got too many crimes as it is.
Hope: Yeah you're right I can't do that. (Drops her fork) Oh no.. My fork fell.. (Bends down to pick it up, but instead goes under the table, through some more tables and makes her way to the exit)
Twilight: Well now it's just the eight of us.
Randy: I'm gonna go stop her! (Flies out the front door) Nice try motherfuckers!!
Jade: Shit, now three people left.
Nate: Well, maybe we should see what we do if we complained about service. What do you think Zen-- (Notices Zendora left) What the fuck?
Jade: Alright, we need a plan quick!
Twilight: Maybe someone can do something to the waiters to let us go.
Jacob: I think Jade should flirt with the waiter.
Jade: Well okay, I'll do it, but you guys better not bail on me.
Twilight: We won't.
Nate: Yeah.. We.. We won't leave. (Laughs awkwardly)
Allen: Is bad lying genetic?
Nate: (Slaps him over the head) Shut up. Don't tell them.
(Jade gets up and speaks to the waiter)
Jade: Why hello there, we need some help paying the bill. (Softly touches the waiter's chest)
Jacob: (Off screen) IS IT WORKING?
(Jade gets pushed to the ground by the waiter)
Waiter: You must pay or you can't leave.
Jacob: ... So, it didn't work?
Jade: Fine! (Walks back to her table) That didn't work... (Looks around the table) Where's Nate and Allen?
Jacob: What do you mean they're ri-- Ah shit. My own brother abandoned me.
Don: So did your sister.
Jacob: But you expect it from Hope.
Twilight: Great, now it's just me, Jade, Don, and Jacob.
Don: Well, how do we get out?
Jade: Well, I'm out of ideas.
Don: Should we just dine and da--
Jacob: Like those other jackasses?
Don: Basically, yeah. Look, I don't want to, but do we have any other options?
Twilight: Maybe one of us can distract the waiters while the rest of us run out.
Don: I volunteer Jacob, as tribute.
Don: Do it for freedom!
Jade: Come on Jacob, your basically the last guy here, what do you got to lose?
Jacob: My pride. (Sigh) But that's long gone, so I'll do it. Get out while everyone is looking away. (Gets up and walks over to a lady eating a cake at her table) Miss, are you gonna eat that?
Lady: Well I was hoping t--
Jacob: Oh sorry. (Grabs the cake and throws it at a man across the room) My bad.
Jade: Alright let's get out! (Jade, Twilight, and Don run out Of the restaurant and meet up with Jacob who is covered in cake)
Jacob: I regret nothing!
Don: Let's just get back to the others, I have a bone to pick with those jackasses.
Jade: Oh yeah, (Giggles) I got an idea for the others.
Don: What is it?
Jacob: Yeah, and how do we do it?
Jade: You'll see. (Back at Don and Jacob's apartment, the rest of the group is hanging out in the living room)
Jones: Too bad we left the others there at the restaurant.
Hope: Sucks to be them, at least we got out.
(Jade, Twilight, Don, and Jacob walk in through the front door)
Jade: Hello wimps.
Allen: You guys got out? Y-you're not mad, are you?
Twilight: Actually, we decided to let this go, and give you guys a treat.
Hope: Treat? As in food? Gimme!
Jade: We brought... (Pulls out six brownies) Pot Brownies!
Hope: Damn those look good! (Grabs one and takes a bite)
Nate: I'll take one. (Takes a brownie and eats it) Hey these are good!
(Jones, Randy, Allen, and Zendora take a brownie as well)
Jones: Sweet, we got treats.
Hope: Yeah, they're-- (Her stomach starts to rumble) Oww..Fuck. What's in these?
(Jade, Twilight, Don, and Jacob quietly laugh)
Hope: What's so fucking funny!? WHAT DID YOU DO TO THESE BROWNIES!?
Jade: Those brownies are special all right.
Twilight: With laxatives!
Jones: FUCK! (Stomach growls) Randy: This fucking sucks!! (Stomach growls)
Don: (Laughs) And that's what you get.
Hope: YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY YOU SWIRLY HAIRED CUNT!? Oww.. (Runs to the bathroom)
(Jones, Randy, Allen, Nate, and Zendora crowd up in the bathroom with Hope)
Don: (Laughs) They're all idiots.
(Don and Jacob fall on the floor laughing)
Jade: That was some good revenge.
Twilight: And guess what else I did? (Pulls out a toilet paper roll)
Don: (Holding back laughs) That-- That's just (Bursts into laughter)
Jade: Alright, we better go, do you guys wanna go get some ice cream?
Don: Sure. Just, bring money.
Jade: I stole Hope's money. (Pulls out her wallet)
Jacob: Hah, for once it's her money and not mine. Now, let's go. (They all walk out, leaving the others in the bathroom)
Jones: FUCK!!! The toilet is clogged!!