|E3 Madness (2013)|
This is so AWESOME!
|Air date||June 2013|
|Other episodes by the author|
Red & Blue are live from the E3 gaming conference and are going to give out exciting new at E3 and their upcoming games!
WARNING: This episode contains real life games and consoles so all credit goes to Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo.
(shows many parts of E3, including the sections for Playstation, Microsoft and Nintendo. Finally the camera zooms out to show Red & Blue in front of the convention.
Blue: Hello world and welcome to-
Red: (interrupts) The E3 Live Conference! DUDE THIS IS AWESOME!!!!!
Blue: Hey don't steal my lines!
Red: Suck my dick.
Blue: And it's been an exciting conference at E3 so we're showing you guys ALL the new games coming in the near future!
Red: Yeah! Like that game me and Rapper made is ALSO at E3 coming to the Xbox 360!
Blue: I thought I told you to DELETE that game! It looks so stupid!
Red: Please! There's nothing you can do to make me delete that awesome game!
Blue: (face palms) Oh whatever.
Blue: But without further ado, let's get this party game going! And first up on our E3 review is the latest for PlayStation!
Red: But first, please watch the PlayStation conference at E3 on YouTube! But if your too lazy, we'll just tell ya the shit!
Blue: Shut Up you idiot! But guess what just got announced at E3!
Red: (amazed) Aww YEAH! The PlayStation 4 is coming!
Blue: (amazed) I know right? The PlayStation 4 was originally announced in Febuary 2013 but at E3 they gave out more information on it!
Red: And guess what? You need PlayStation Plus for Online Gaming?! That SUCKS!
Blue: I know right? It just sounds stupid!
Red: And what about the new controller: The DualShock 4!
Blue: Yeah I know but what's with the weird thing on the controller?
Red: Did you even WATCH the conference!?
Blue: No! I was on a date with Pink!
Red: Sure hang out with a girl rather then something MORE AWESOME!
Blue: Dude shut up! Pink could be watching this!
Red: Really? (pulls pants down and places butt in camera) Hi Pink! (farts)
Blue: Dude! Gross!
Red: Let's not forget the SWEET new games coming!
Blue: But for the first PS4 game we're announcing, here it is, the latest in a series featuring a boy with a key.
Red: Well It's about fucking time!
Blue: That's right people, Kingdom Hearts III is coming to PlayStation 4!
Red: Why is it that a new kingdom hearts is always coming on a different console!?
Blue: Dude just relax about it.
Red: I'm not buying a PS4 just for KH3, I'm also buying the PS4 for THIS game!
Red: Aww Sweet! Killing returns in Killzone: Shadow Fall!
Blue: Dude, killing people in this game is like playing a new Flame War!
Red: I'll be sure to pre-order this game!
Blue: And the PS4 too, right?
Red: Nah, I'm gonna steal the console!
Blue: OH NO your not!
Red: Oh yeah! There's ANOTHER killzone! Check it out!!!
Blue: Wow that one looks better than the other!
Red: Alright alright enough Killzone shit! On to more games! Like a cinemetic trailer for THIS!
Blue: (scared) Dude that trailer looked so scary!
Red: Hah! Don't be such a wimp dude! But why no gameplay trailer!?
Blue: Dude give them time to make it! Remember how long it took for DFTM to be made?
Red: Suck my red dick!
Blue: And next up is THIS trailer!
Red: Alright! Driving MADNESS!!! I'm gonna KILL all of those who DESTROY MY CAR!!!
Blue: Red, calm down, It's just a game.
Red: (calms down) Oh yeah, sorry.
Blue: And I think people from around the globe will enjoy racing against each other.
Red: (bored) Whatever! Next Trailer please!
Red: Whoa man! That looked so EPIC!
Blue: From the creators of Halo and Call of Duty comes, Destiny, an epic adventure unlike anything players have experienced.
Red: I'm gonna pwn noobs EVERYWHERE!
Blue: In Destiny you are a Guardian of the last city on Earth, able to wield incredible power. Explore the ancient ruins of our solar system, from the red dunes of Mars to the lush jungles of Venus. Defeat Earth's enemies. Discover all that we have lost. Become legend.
Red: What!? That's what the game's about!? LAME!
Blue: Shut up you idiot! But now that's MOST of the PS4 games we covered. To see more, watch this presentation, but for now, Me and Red are gonna play 5 rounds of the new Flame War 7!
Red: Whoo! RACE FOR IT!!! (runs off)
Blue: (runs off) Don't steal it or anything!
Blue: (runs up very tired) We shouldn't have played so much Flame War 7! Now we're late for our next segment!
Red: Well at least they didn't fuck the game up this time!
Blue: And now It's time to take at Nintendo!
Red: What!? Why Nintendo!? Their games suck!
Blue: Shut up idiot! If they want Nintendo at E3 then we GIVE them the news!
Red: (pissed) Fine!
Blue: So first up is-
Red: You know what? Screw this! (walks off) Yo L.T.! Come co-host with Blue for this part, I'm playing more Xbox One!
Lord Tourettes: (runs in) Greetings young COCK SUCKERS! I am your co-host Lord Tourettes! (giggles)
Blue: (pissed) Right. Anyway at E3 Nintendo showed off many of their upcoming Wii U titles which we'll be showing today. So first up is the trailer about the famous red plumber.
Lord Tourettes: Aww those cats looked so FUCKING SHITTY!
Blue: That's right the all new Cat Mario will be appearing in Super Mario 3D World! The suit will allow the player to climb walls and pounce at enemies! The famous plumber is back with his friends Luigi, Toad and Princess Peach.
Lord Tourettes: Kind of like a SHITTY version of Super FUCK Bros. 2!
Blue: But this Mario game isn't the ONLY Mario game that was shown at E3, let's not forget THIS!
Lord Tourettes: YAY! It's SHITTY Kart 8!
Blue: I simply can not wait to face so many online players with my gaming skills!
Lord Tourettes: (scoffs) Yeah right!
Blue: Shut up idiot! Anyway this time you'll be able to drive on walls and ceilings, as well as driving underwater and gliding through the air!
Lord Tourettes: This SHIT is coming Spring 2014.
Red: (comes back) Dude! You gotta see THIS trailer for Wii U! It's got some super hot chick in it!
Red: (mouth drops) I think my jaw breaked. Dude she looked so fucking sexy! (looks up) Well if you exclude the lame glasses.
Blue: So the sequel to Bayonetta is coming to Wii U!
Red: Dude she almost looked as sexy as Fox & Stacy!
Blue: I think Bayonetta fans will love the action in this game.
Red: So if your going back to the lame kiddy games, count me out! (runs off)
Blue: Now for some of you who liked New Super Mario Bros. U last year, you'll love this next trailer.
Lord Tourettes: YAY! A green COCK like me!
Blue: That's right Luigi is back in an all new adventure! New Super Luigi U!
Lord Tourettes: Hey who was the purple COCK SUCKER?
Blue: THAT my friend is a new playable character, Nabbit!
Lord Tourettes: Splendid! A BUTT-FACE Like Red!
Blue: Now how about we move our attention to the 3DS games starting off with this trailer.
Lord Tourettes: (amazed) So many SHIT-HEADS!
Blue: The Mario & Luigi RPG series is back with this brand new game!
Lord Tourettes: But what's with all the green SHIT!?
Blue: Well since it was the year of Luigi, the developers decided to give Luigi a bigger role than Mario's in this game.
Lord Tourettes: (excited) I hope soon there'll be more of ME!
Blue: (shocked) I highly doubt that, now how about THIS trailer?
Lord Tourettes: Ooh! So much RPG!
Blue: This latest installment in Shin Megami Tensei series is coming to Nintendo 3DS with more action than ever!
Lord Tourettes: So much fights! So many DICKS! (suddenly becomes excited) Ooh! Can we play this trailer next!?
Blue: (sighs) Fine! Here it is!
Lord Tourettes: (excited) So CUTE!
Blue: Yoshi & Baby Mario are back in their latest adventure on Nintendo 3DS!
Lord Tourettes: EEK! I want a SHIT Yoshi!
Blue: (shocked) Ooookay. Anyways that's all of Nintendo we can show for today, but don't forget about ALL the other titles including, Rayman Legends, Pikmin 3 and many more!
Lord Tourettes: We'll back in 5 SHITS but for now, watch the FUCK-tendo presentation!
Blue: And we're back! L.T. is gone off playing Yoshi's New Island and Red's back for our next segment, the Xbox games!
Red: (chants) Let's start! Let's start! Let's start!
Blue: Calm down! So if all of you know, the new Xbox One was announced at the beginning of this year! And now it's time to show off all the new games they have in store for it!
Red: Dude, these are like the best games we're gonna show off! And here's the first trailer!
Blue: Alright! The Metal Gear franchise goes open world!
Red: Dude so much Stealth Mode in this game! Like the time I used Stealth Mode to steal Blue's wallet!
Blue: You WHAT!?
Red: (continues) ANYway, this game sure does LOOK good! (Y U No Face) But Why there no gameplay!?
Blue: (annoyed) DUDE! I told you before!
Red: Well I hope this next trailer has gameplay!
Red: MAN! STILL NO GAMEPLAY!!! I would've LOVED to play some Halo on Xbox One!
Blue: It sure looks like a completley different story.
Blue: (really annoyed) Will you just STOP all this shit!?
Red: I WANT TO SEE GAMEPLAY!!!
Blue: GAAHH!!!! (slaps Red) ENOUGH!
Red: (rubs face) Fine!
Blue: Next trailer now!
Red: That was more like gameplay! AND IT WAS AMAZING!!!
Blue: It sure looks like an exciting game!
Red: Like a new Flame War game!
Blue: Well not excatly, it has a story doesn't it?
Red: I don't know! How the heck am I suppose to know about this game?
Blue: You always hack into the information.
Red: Cuz I'm AWESOME!!!
Blue: This game is not only coming on PS4 & Xbox One, but also the Xbox 360, PS3 and PC.
Red: Alright! Next trailer!
Blue: What is it with people adding Zombies in games!?
Red: It's what makes the game AWESOME!!!
Blue: Well it sure seems interesting and VERY scary!
Red: Hah! You are just such a wimp!
Blue: Ever since we were under attack by zombies and by that weird Memesis, I had a fear of Zombies
Red: Yeah right!
Blue: (scared) Can we just move on?
Blue: That's quite interesting.
Red: Looks pretty bad ass though! I like the tactical gameplay mixed in with the brutal gore similar to God of War. Maybe this is Microsoft's stab at their own God of War style game.
Blue: I think games are more interesting with gameplay.
Blue: (looks at watch) Aw man! We're out of time!
Red: (looks at Blue's watch) WHAT!? NOOO!!!! (grabs door) I don't wanna leave!
Blue: (pulls Red) Come ON! We can't be here forever!
Red: Can I at least steal some games?
(after a bit of pulling, Blue finally pulls Red towards his car)
Red: WHY!? WHYYYYY!!!!????
Blue: (pats Red on back) Calm down Red. There's always next year.
Red: (calms down) But before we finish off, here's the Microsoft conference! See ya next time folks!
Blue: See ya later!
Red: And now time to steal some games! (runs inside)
Blue: NO! (runs after Red)