Epic Cyborgs
Epic Cyborg
Ninja showdown.
Air date 10-02-13
Written by Alpha-Lonewolf and YoshiRocker13
Directed by Alpha-Lonewolf
Location City
Other episodes by the author

Final Fucking Fantasy XXX

Death Battle 4



Wolf becomes even more deadly than before. With the help of a inventor Wolf will bring a new meaning of mass murder.


(Red is seen with an angry face in Prof Stick's lab)


Prof Stick: And why's the case?

Red: Do you have any idea what kind of girl Fox is?

Prof Stick: Not really. But the last potion was sold out. You'll have to wait Red. Good day! (Walks back inside as Red continues whining)

(Back at Wolf's home)

(Red storms in)  

Red: Stupid professor, not making me a love potion!

Wolf: Who?

Red: A stupid professor! Professor Stick no give me a love potion! (Cries)

Wolf: Professor stick uh? Sounds gay. Why would you care about a potion?

Red: Other than that. He makes some of the COOLEST stuff!

Wolf: (interested) what kind of things?

Red: Machines, Potions, SO COOL! Last week I tried a gender change potion and I LOVED it!

Wolf: Uh-huh yeah potions. Hey listen, if you tell me where he is, I'll get him to make a potion.

Red: Okay he lives at-  

(Suddenly cuts to Prof Stick's store when his bell rings)  

Professor Stick: Can I help you?

Wolf: Uh hey there professor. I hear that you make awesome high tech machines right?

Professor Stick: Correct! My best selling is a time machine!

Wolf: yeah, yeah, time machine. Sound cool. But anyways, how would you like a human experiment to make a cyborg?

Professor Stick: Why, that would be splendid! Follow me.

(Wolf follows Prof.Stick)

(In another room, yellow zaps are seen from outside the door. Professor Stick walks out) 

Professor Stick: I must say, you look good as a cyborg.

Wolf: Well let me just tell you that I am a sad and weak person who wishes to be still human but have mechanical parts on me to make me the ultimate killing ninja. If I could do this, then I would be able to protect those that I love.

Professor Stick: (sniffs) that is so beautiful... Whelp, you are complete!

(After the work, Wolf looks at himself to see the tech on him to make him ten times what he was before)

Wolf: I think you have out done yourself Professor.

Professor Stick: Why thank you. (As Wolf walks out) Hope you enjoy it!

Wolf: I will. (Leaps up high and crosses a mile gap of distance) WHOO!

Professor Stick: I think I did a very good thing today.

Cue Card: 5 minutes later

(Shows the city like a war zone)

Blue: What the fuck is going on here!? 

Red: (pulls out machine gun) WHOO!!!

Blue: God damn it! Rapper! What is happening!?

Rapper: It's all WOLF'S FAULT! He became half-cyborg!

Blue: WHAT!?! How did he do that!?

Red: I want to be a cyborg!

Rapper: I don't know!

(Above it shows a group of helicopters shooting at a roof but then a fast blur crosses each of them and the helicopters fall to hundreds of sliced pieces)

Rapper: We got to find out who did this!!!

Red: Oh whoops.

(Professor Stick is seen hiding behind a building)   

Professor Stick: Who could have caused all this!?

Red: That would be my awesome friend Wolf professor dick.

Blue: Red!! 

Professor Stick: Wolf? You mean the man I turned into a cyborg? 

Blue: YOU WHAT!?!?!?

Red: Coooool!

Blue: Why on earth would you do that!?

Professor Stick: He said he would help those he loved!

Red: Ha! Dude, he straight up lied to you.

Professor Stick: He did? 

Blue: Don't worry professor, it wasn't your fault. We gotta find a way to change Wolf back! 

Red: Wolf is the most deadly sadistic, psychopathic, cold blooded, murdering, masochist you could ever meet.

Professor Stick: I've doomed us all.

Red: Don't worry it'll be fine. Mostly all his friends will still be alive.

Blue: Well- What are we going to do!?

Red: What if we made me a cyborg and fight Wolf?

Blue: Bad idea bro. but maybe we can make Rapper a cyborg.

Rapper: Wait what!? But Wolf will kill me!

Red: Yeah he fights better than you.

Blue: Maybe all you have to do is try to talk to him.

Professor Stick: Very well, let's do it.

(Cuts to Wolf as a cyborg)
Real Epic Cyborg

(Shows in the background sliced people, tanks, jeeps, helicopters, and planes on the floor burning as Wolf cleans his blade of oil and blood)

Wolf: all too easy.

Rapper: (off-screen) HEY! Wolfie! 

(Wolf turns to Rapper who is now a cyborg)

Wolf: Well isn't this a cliché?

Rapper: Alright buddy, stop this now or fight.

Wolf: Is this a trick question? (Pulls out his sword as it makes high tech charging sounds to power up)

(They begin sword fighting while Red watches eating popcorn) 

Blue: REALLY!? At a time like this!?

Red: what? Should I have gotten candy instead?

(Wolf makes an ongoing offense against Rapper not giving him room for an opening)

Wolf: You really think you can talk me out of this!?

Rapper: WHY the fuck are you doing this!? (Uses defense attack on Wolf)

Wolf: (guides attack in an arm lock) Wolf I've always wanted to be a half Cyborg. (Kicks away Rapper) And now I want to see what I can do with out my modes.

Professor Stick: (pulls out a green potion)

Blue: what is that?

Professor Stick: The only way to cure Wolf. This will however lead him into serious pain to recover. 

Blue: Will it work? 

Prof: It will. But we must wait for the right moment. 

Rapper: (kicks Wolf)

Wolf: Now it must end tragically epic!

Rapper: Not bloody likely! (Slashes Wolf's sword)

(Wolf throws his sword over Rapper as he runs towards him. He grabs rapper's attack, knees him in the gut and kicks into his knee. Wolf then head butts rapper and pulls his sword through himself and into Rapper's vital organs while missing his own. He pulls out the sword and stick it in Rapper again to catch the sword behind Rapper and stab him through the back)

Rapper: FUCK!!! 

(Suddenly Wolf screams in pain. The camera shows the green potion on Wolf)


(The screen turns white. It then shows Wolf laying on the ground no longer a cyborg)

Wolf: woo! What a rush. (Gets up and Looks over to rapper)

(Rapper coughs out blood)

Wolf: Hey Rapper. Did you know you have swords in you?

Rapper: (pissed) OF COURSE I FUCKING KNOW!!!!

Wolf: well sheesh. Don't have to be such a pain. But that was epic wasn't it?

Rapper: Was it epic? Was it EPIC!!? FUCK YEAH!!!

Blue: Psychos. 

Red: Just like my dick.

Wolf: But there is one thing I must tell you before you go.

Rapper: What? 

Wolf: I was just going to go back to normal when I had my fun.

Rapper: WHAT!?

Blue: WHAT!?

Professor Stick: WHAT!?

Red: What? I missed what they said.

Wolf: Yeah If I were to tell you before, we wouldn't have had an epic fight.

Rapper: I really hate you- (head falls to ground as Rapper dies) 

Blue: (teary) Wolf. How could you?

Professor Stick: this is all my fault.

Red: Boring!

Blue: RED!

Wolf: (Pulls out defibrillators) What a drama queen. (pulls out swords) CLEAR! (Shocks Rapper alive)

Rapper: (screams) What the fuck!?

Wolf: (kicks Rapper lightly) Get up you drama nut.

(Rapper gets up)

Blue: Wolf I am begging you not to do that again.

Red: (Pushes blue out of the way) Fuck that guy. Find a way to do it again and take on Japan and its giant fucking mechs!

Wolf: Sounds interesting. (Gathers Pieces of the cyborg tech) Now if you'll excuse me, I got to find a way to repair this without any glitches. (walks off with the cyborg tech)

Blue: God damn it.


(After credits)

(on the city boarders a half Cyborg Ninja stepped into the scene)

Shi Ba: (Part cyborg) I have returned.


  • 1/5 Unicorn Barf!
  • 2/5 It was like Meh.
  • 3/5 I guess it was... pretty good.
  • 4/5 This is like crazy right?

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