Figure This Out
Air date 6-29-14
Written by AndrewBrauer
Directed by AndrewBrauer
Set in Present
Location Ball Busters, Simon's Apartment, Alice's Apartment, and Veronica's Apartment
Other episodes by the author

We Got a Problem

End of Season 2

 In the season two finale, Alice cuts herself off from society, which worries everyone. Simon gets creative with some wood. Molly questions her relationship with Veronica, when she learns the truth about Thomas. Emma thinks about her future. Michael gets a surprise visitor.

Rating: TV-MA

  • Adult Content
  • Adult Language



10:30 AM

On a Tuesday

(Molly and Veronica are making out on a couch in Veronica's living room)

Veronica: It's so nice that your... (See's boxes surrounding her apartment) ...still moving in.

Molly: Sorry baby, I just wanted to break in the moment and embrace it.

Veronica: (Giggles) I've taught you a lot.

(Molly and Veronica continue to make out on the couch as the camera lingers on the two tongue kissing and slowly moving their lips on each other)

Molly: So... (Smiles) what else is there to learn?

Veronica: (Stops making out) What do you mean?

Molly: Like, what happens after this, after we move in together?

Veronica: I don't know, we live happy together in my flat.

Molly: But what happens when your with that person for a long time, does marriage pop into the question?

Veronica: (Confused) Uhhh... what?

Molly: Come on, gay marriage is legal in California, we can do it.

Veronica: Look, Molly, it's going to be a while, and I mean a long while, before I would even consider marriage. We've only been together for fourth months, us moving in at that length is considered quick.

Molly: But it's different, it's not like you have to deal with a penis in this relationship, you got a girlfriend with you.

Veronica: Sure, but just because it's two girls together doesn't make it any different then when your with a guy.

Molly: Yes, yes it is! (Gets up) The difference, is that we don't have to deal with a man controlling our relationship, unless somehow it's part of a messed up three-way.

Veronica: Molly, maybe you think that, because you might be a hardcore feminist.

Molly: Yeah, so?

Veronica: (Sighs) Now I understand.

Molly: Understand what?

Veronica: The reason why you're like this, is because you've never been with a man before, no wonder, especially back in March on my birthday where you told me how you think all men are the same.

Molly: But they are, all they want is to stick their dirty dick and go lightspeed on my vagina!

Veronica: Okay Molly. (Gets up) I know how you feel, but before I became a lesbian, I knew lot's of guys who, honest to god, just wanted to be with a woman, not for sex, but just to be together.

Molly: Was that some kind of trick, cause I hear that shit all the time.

Veronica: Then most of the men you've met are complete dirtbags?

Molly: Yes, for all my life, the men I've met either use me for sex, drugs, violence, or just any other assignment, nothing else.

Veronica: Wait a minute, this isn't about men, it's about you never being in an actual relationship with someone.

Molly: Oh come on, you got to be fucking kidding me. I know how a relationship works, two people meet, date, move in, someone proposes, they get married, have kids, and die together.

Veronica: (Sighs) That's a relationship if you watch sitcoms and well made romantic comedies, only those are far and few.

(Molly sighs and crosses her arms)

Veronica: Do you think moving in is the best thing for us right now, or should we think about where this is going, cause we may both want different things.

Molly: I think we should think about this, I'm going for a walk. (Walks out of Veronica's apartment as Veronica sits down on her couch and looks down. It cuts to Alice in her bed under her sheets looking on her laptop at Simon's facester page)

Alice: (Quietly) So Simon is into woodmaking, lovely.

(Cuts to Simon chopping blocks of woods on a table in his apartment with an axe)

Simon: I fucking love chopping wood, it's like my love life, easy to cut through and expendable!

(A knock is heard on Simon's door)

Simon: (Drops the axe on the floor) WHAT!!!!

Michael: (Through the door) It's me.

Simon: It's open!

(Michael opens the door and walks in as he looks around to see wood everywhere)

Michael: Simon, what the fuck are you doing to your apartment?

Simon: Oh nothing, just chopping some wood, and I don't mean by me jerking off. (Picks up the axe and continues to chop wood)

Michael: Why are you chopping wood?

Simon: Because, it's the only thing I can do that won't lead me to women.

Michael: So chopping wood fixes it?

Simon: (Drops his axe) Yes! Look Mike, all women are whore, who just want to use you, like how I was used for a government project, it was all a lie about love! Something I was finally about to experience!

Michael: (Sighs) Simon, I feel for you, I really do, but you can't just act like this, what about your friends?

Simon: Half of them are women, and aside from my sister, they're all liars!

Michael: You really want to continue chopping wood in your apartment!?

Simon: I could chop you if you want!!?? (Picks up the axe and holds it near Michael's neck)

Michael: (Pulls Simon away from him) You know what, when you get out of your own world of denial, I hope you realize how much of a fucking idiot you look like, and what your missing out in the world!

(Michael walks out and slams the door as Simon continues to chop wood)


(Thomas is at Ball Busters drinking out of a beer glass at the bar as Emma walks in)

Emma: Morning drinking huh?

Thomas: Hey! Lesbians can get married, so that means I can drink at eleven o'clock in the morning.

Emma: (Shrugs) I might as well join.

(Sits at the bar and pours beer from a nozzle under the bar cabinet into a glass and drinks from it)

Emma: Still having trouble with this whole thing going on with Molly?

Thomas: It's not just that, it's just... (Moans) I feel like I lost the opportunity to be with the one that I love, and now she's with the one and it's not me.

Emma: Well, I'm here because I just spent the last five hours looking over my 23 years, and I realized that all the shit I do, leads me into some seriously deep shit.

Thomas: Maybe it's your childhood, I mean, you were obese, an outcast, smoked pot with your brother and his best friend under the bleachers of your school.

Emma: It must be the drugs.

Thomas: Which one, you take nearly every one...

Emma: The crack, that crap got me into thinking I should be with a man, who can turn into a girl, and on top of that, works for the government.

Thomas: Are you saying that you allow drugs to throw you into situations like that?

Emma: Yes, it makes me feel alive, even though I end up chewing on human flesh.

Thomas: Then you got to do what's right, for everyone.

(Molly walks in and approaches Thomas and Emma)

Molly: (Quietly) Hey guys.

Thomas: What's wrong?

Molly: I... think.... I broke up with... Veronica. (Looks down)

Emma: Wait, what?

(Thomas gets up an hugs Molly as she begins to tear up)

Molly: (While crying) We seem to want different things.

Thomas: It's okay, it's not the end of the world.

Molly: (Sniffs) It was my first love.

Thomas: Molly, you got many more relationships to come, you'll never end up alone.

(Molly looks at Thomas)

Molly: (Sniffs) Really? How would you know?

Thomas: Because, you're so wonderful, quirky, kind, and down to earth, what kind of person wouldn't like you?

Molly: Mainly men, all they want is a pussy to fuck.

Thomas: Then... I must be special.

Molly: (Eyes widen) Wait...

(Thomas kisses Molly on the lips for several seconds as both of their eyes close and open up when they stop kissing)

Molly: (Shocked) Wow!

Thomas: Yeah, sorry I had about three beers and my breath...

(Molly runs out of Ball Busters)

Thomas: Did she like it?

Emma: I know one thing, for someone who doesn't go out and put out, you looked like a great kisser.

Thomas: (Faceplams) I just hope things don't get weird with us.

(Michael knocks on the door to Alice's apartment)

Michael: (Through the door) Alice? You there?

(Alice is shown in her bed underneath a blanket laying down, Michael opens the door and sees Alice under her blanket)

Michael: (Crosses his arms) Ally, you can't be serious, it's just fucking odd right now.

Alice: .....

Michael: (To Alice) You know, Simon is losing his mind too, he's chopping wood with an axe, as a way to get girls out of his mind, only it makes him look like a fucking hillbilly or one of those robertson members from Lousiana.

Alice: .....

Michael: Okay, do your thinking, and once you realize what your doing is just not ordinary, then all this shit that's been going on should be back to normal. (Walks out of Alice's apartment and closes the door, as he see's Emma lock her door with luggage in her other hand) Emma?

(Emma walks past Michael and ignores him)

Michael: (Sighs) Everything is just fucked up. (Walks out of the building)

(Molly is sitting outside of Ball Busters just staring out in the open as her cellphone rings)

Molly: (On her phone) Hello?

Veronica: (On the other line) Hey... it's me.

Molly: (On her phone) Veronica, is... everything okay?

Veronica: (On the other line) Well... in a way, (Clears her throat) Listen, when you left, my agent called, he told me this great opportunity for a job.

Molly: (On her phone) Wow, that's so...

Veronica: (On the other line) In Paris, it's a model job in Paris, France.

Molly: (On her phone) Oh... (Sighs) really?

Veronica: (On the other line) I told him I had to think about it, I have until eleven tonight when my plane leaves, now listen Molly, I need to know if you are willing to make this relationship work, if you want to continue this, then you'll come with me on that plane, we'll leave together and live a new life in a new location.

Molly: (On her phone) But... what if we break up?

Veronica: (On the other line) How do you know we'll break up?

Molly: (On her phone) We might do today.

Veronica: (On the other line) Okay, well if you think that this isn't going to work, then I guess this is it, because I'm still leaving for Paris, whether your coming or not.

Molly: (On her phone) But what if you don't want to have a future together, where we get married, and adopt kids, we could be like Angelina Jolie, only without Brad and Jennifer, just two Angelina's!

Veronica: (On the other line) It's not that I don't want that, but I'm not ready for that, if we move to Paris, then it'll just be us, and we can figure this out together, no one else will come in our way.

Molly: (On her phone) It's a new country, and what if we still want different things, and we can't figure out a way to make it right?

Veronica: (On the other line) Then... maybe I'm not the one.

(Molly stares straight and thinks for a several seconds)

Molly: (On her phone) Then... maybe's it's best that I be with the one, (Sighs) goodbye Veronica, enjoy Paris.

(Molly hangs up her phone and puts it away, as Thomas walks outside and sits next to Molly)

Thomas: (To Molly) So... things are over with you and Ronnie?

Molly: Well... yeah.

Thomas: Does it involve... (Molly kisses Thomas on the lips for several seconds) I'm guessing it involves me.

Molly: Yes, it involves you, and your little crush on me that you've had for a while now.

Thomas: (Nods his head) Yes, it does.

Molly: Well then, looks like all the waiting was worth it.

Thomas: (Smiles) Yes.

(The two continue to kiss, as Michael walks out and see's the two kissing and smiles)

Michael: Wow, Thomas finally gets his dream girl and Lesbo comes out of the closet as a straight girl!

(The two continue to kiss as Molly gives Michael the middle finger, Michael just smirks and walks off, as it cuts to Simon chopping wood with an axe as his cellphone rings, he drops his axe and answers his phone)

Simon: (On his cellphone) WHAT!!??

Emma: (On the other line) Simon, it's me.

Simon: (On his cellphone) Em?

Emma: (On the other line) Yeah, listen, don't tell anyone this, but I moved out of my apartment.

Simon: (On his cellphone) What the fuck are you even talking about?

Emma: (On the other line) I've checked myself into rehab, I need to think about my future, goodbye. (Hangs up)

(Simon puts his phone away slowly and starts using his axe to make holes in the wall, as it cuts to Alice crying in bed and she's about to call Simon on her cellphone, but instead, she gets out of bed, and runs outside, where it cuts to Michael unlocking the door to his apartment, he walks inside and turns on the lights to see an older purple woman with long hair sitting on his couch)

Michael: (Surprised) Oh god, wait, mom?

Michael's Mom: Yes honey, it's me.

Michael: What are you doing here?

Michael's Mom: I figured something out today, something you never knew.

Michael: Mom, you left me and my dad when I was two, and now you come back twenty six years later to reveal a secret?

Michael's Mom: Michael... you have a sister.

Michael: (Shocked expression) ..... (Walks right and left several times) What!!

(Michael's mom show's him a picture, where he covers his mouth in shock, as the picture, is of Stacy)

Michael: I... uh....

(Cuts to Alice knocking on Simon's door)


(Alice just starts crying on the door, as Simon calms down)

Simon: Alice?

Alice: (Sniffs) Yeah?

Simon: What... what are you doing here?

Alice: (While crying) I... I... need someone... right now, and... and I know I might be... be the last person you want to see, but...

(Simon opens the door as he and Alice stare into each other deeply)

Simon: Hey.

Alice: Hey.

(Alice takes off Simon's glasses and kisses him on the lips slowly)

Simon: I knew, you are the only girl, that I can be with.

Alice: And that you, are the only boy, I can hate, but still somehow, love.

(The two continue to kiss for a long period of time as the camera pans from the two, and the screen fades to black)

Written by AndrewBrauer

Directed by AndrewBrauer

-Lightshow Episode 20-

What did you think about Figure This Out?

The poll was created at 05:22 on July 1, 2014, and so far 3 people voted.


  • Marks the first appearance of Michael's Mom.
  • Thomas finally kisses Molly for the first time, and she may or may not be straight.
  • Simon enjoys chopping wood when he's frustrated.
  • Orginally suppose to air on June 29th, the episode at to be released on July 1st at midnight due to scheduling conflicts.


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