|Final Day with Fifi|
|Written by||YoshiRocker13, Alpha-Lonewolf & Mdkid663|
|Other episodes by the author|
Bruce is upset to find that Fifi could be marrying Wolf so he teams up with Snake to get their burrito back.
(Fifi skips through the street. As Fifi skips through the streets, Bruce spots her)
Bruce: There goes the girl of my dream.
Fifi: (a car crashes into her and she gets back up) That was fun!
Driver: You bitch! You wrecked my car!
Fifi: (puts a band-aid on the car) There I fixed it tee hee.
Driver: AUGH!!! (prepares to run her over)
Bruce: (shoots the driver) Don't you dare hurt her!
Fifi: Hi sticky man!
Bruce: Heh. Hey Fifi.
(Fifi suddenly runs off, Bruce peeks from the wall to find her with Snake)
Snake: How's my little cookie today?
Fifi: I'm a watermelon.
Bruce: (glares at Snake) You stay away from her.
Snake: (glares back) Don't make me put you down like last time.
Bruce: (angrily pokes Snake) Don't make me!
(Fifi gasps and runs off)
(Fifi finds Wolf)
Wolf: GOD!!! One day, just one fucking day!
(Fifi puts her wedding dress on sending Bruce & Snake into shock)
Wolf: (shocked as well) What the fuck is this!?
Bruce: She's..... marrying you?!
Wolf: FUCK NO!!!
Fifi: I have it all planned out.
Wolf: You planned out something? that's a laugh.
Fifi: I thought it up all by myself!
Wolf: The day you plan something at all is the day Hell freezes over.
(in Hell. Hell freezes over)
Bruce: But Fifi! What about me? Wouldn't I be your taco?
Snake: (pushes Bruce) No I'm your taco!
Fifi: You were my boyfriends I thought.
Bruce: (upset) Fifi, Wolf doesn't even like you!
Fifi: I know that because he loves me!
(Wolf Face palms)
Snake: We would never hurt you like he does!
Bruce: Come on Fifi! Wouldn't you rather be with us?!
Ryle: (comes) (to Wolf) What the fuck's goin on?
Wolf: This retarded cunt is trying to marry me against my will.
Fifi: Yay! Wolfy called me his cunt!
Wolf: Do you even know what that is!?
Fifi: It's what happens to a football.
Wolf: (eye twitches) YOU GOD DAMN RETARD!!!
Bruce: AUGH!!! I give up! I GIVE UP! (storms off)
Snake: (follows Bruce) You want to make a truce?
Bruce: (thinks) Meh why not. (they shake hands)
Ryle: (to Snake) So you're Wolf's brother.
Snake: (confused) And you are?
(Fifi runs off to the church pulling Wolf with her)
Wolf: GET OFF ME YOU MORON!!!
Fifi: Burrito time!
Snake: We got to get to Fox now.
Bruce: Come on, let's go find her! (they run off)
Fox: (hears a knock on the door) Coming!
Bruce: Fox. Do you know this girl named Fifi?
Fox: What did she do now?
Bruce: She's gone to the church to marry Wolf.
Snake: Wolf tried to tell her off but she won't listen.
Bruce: We got to get to the church.
(cuts to Wolf & Fifi at the church)
Lord Tourettes: So Fifi, do you take this DICK to be your husband for as long as you both shall FUCK?
Fifi: Ducks and cows make great parents!
Lord Tourettes: I'll take that as an I do, and Wolf, do you take this BITCH to be your wife for as long as you both shall SHIT?'''''
Wolf: If you say one word to get us married LT, I will find and hunt down Lady Tourettes and I will peel the flesh off her and have her raped by a STD infested walrus, chop her into tiny pieces, feed her remains to a pig, wait for it to shit her out and set it on fire with a flamethrower!
Lord Tourettes: (shrieks) Does anyone object to these two being joined?! ANYONE?! I don't want to lose my BITCH!'''''
(Lady Tourettes slowly backs away to the door when suddenly it slams open and squishes her)
Bruce: WE Object!!
Lord Tourettes: (screams) YOU KILLED MY GIRLFRIEND!
Bruce: Relax drama queen, she's just injured.
Wolf: (sees Fox) Dear god help me!
Fifi: Yay! you came to our wedding!
Fox: Fifi! get away from Wolf this instant! No one is taking him away from me!
Bruce: Wait, does that mean you like him?
Fox: He's always been like a brother to me and no one is going to get in the way of that!
Lord Tourettes: (searches through papers) Then- Then I hereby declare these two do NOT join in Marriage!
Fifi: NO!!! Why did you do that!? (begins to cry)
Lord Tourettes: Because I said so BITCH! Because THEY objected!
Snake: Fifi I'm sorry it had to happen like this but you can't marry Wolf cuz he doesn't love you.
Fifi: YES HE DOES!!!
Wolf: Says the retarded fuck.
Fox: Wolf you're not helping.
Bruce: FIFI! He beat you up, caused you to get run over by cars, shot you in the face and he even set you on fire one time! HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU!
Fifi: Love hurts and he hurts me all the time!
Wolf: psychotic nut job.
Lord Tourettes: ENOUGH! These two are NOT going to marry! (to the 4th wall) And my girlfriend doesn't get killed! (giggles)
Fifi: ALL OF YOU ARE MEAN!!! I LOVE WOLFY!!! (runs off crying)
Wolf: thank god that's over with.
Bruce: Fifi! Come back!
Snake: aw crud, Fifi!
Bruce: (runs after Fifi)
(Fifi is under a tree still crying)
Bruce: There she is.
Snake: I hate seeing her like this.
Snake: Well lets get this over with.
(Snake and Bruce cautiously approach Fifi)
Fifi: (continues to cry) Leave me alone. I'm a wheeping pillow
Bruce: Eesh. She's really that sad.
Rapper: Plus, you'll love the present I'm getting for you.
Snake: Please don't cry Fifi.
Fifi: Everyone doesn't want me to be happy. they want to see me sad.
Bruce: But we wanna see you happy Fifi, we'll be nice to you. We're your (thinks) Uh how did she pronounce it? Boyfriends. and by that I mean boys who are her friend.
Snake: Fifi, why can't you see that we care more about you than him?
Fifi: Wolfy will always be my taco!
Snake: This is getting us nowhere.
Bruce: (gasps) I have an idea! We get Wolf to be nicer to her!
Snake: That could work. (turns to Fifi) Fifi, if we get Wolf to be nicer to you, no more trying to marry him okay?
Fifi: (calms down and sniffs a bit) Can I have a cookie too?
Wolf: (in a random bar) Who do I have to murder to get a beer around here?
Fox: Like that will get anyone's attention
Wolf: (Shoots a few rounds at the bar keeper) Did it sound like I was joking(everyone quickly gives Wolf a mug of beer)
Bruce: (walks in with Snake) WOLF! We need to talk!
Wolf: Then pull up a chair and let the beer do the talking.
Snake: This is serious brother!
Wolf: Wow it is serious if you call me by that name.
Fox: I think i need to use the ladies room.
Bruce: Alright buddy LISTEN up! Fifi won't stop crying because she won't marry you! So the only way for her to NOT marry you is for YOU to be nicer to her!
Wolf: and what in all of creation do you think I will do something like that?
Snake: Fifi promises not to try to marry you again if you be a little bit more nice to her.
Wolf: Your joking right?
Bruce: Nope, we're fucking serious
Wolf: let me get this straight. I be nicer to Fifi and she will no longer make any attempts to try to marry me?
Wolf: (ponders for a bit) If she in any way forgets her little promise then the deal is off. instead I will rip her limb from limb in the most gruesome painful way you could ever have in your nightmarers, Kapeesh?
Snake: (gulps a bit) yeah sure. well tell her that.
Bruce: Well I knew that would work. (looks at Snake) Ya know, your not such a bad guy once I get used to you.
Wolf: Give it till tomorrow ya drama queen fags.
Snake: (rolls his eyes) Well thanks anyways bro for helping us out.
Wolf: Now go tell that cunt shit the deal was made.
Fifi: (crashes through the wall and jumps on Wolf) YAY!!! I wuv you Wolfy!
Wolf: (Throws Fifi into a keg of beer) THAT DOESN"T MEAN YOU CAN...
Snake & Bruce: Wolf?!
(wolf pulls Fifi out of the keg)
Wolf: Sorry i did that Fifi and i will try to be nicer to you from now on.
Bruce: (nods) And our work here is done.
Fifi: Everyone loves me now!
Wolf: (mumbles) as far as you know.