|Written by||AndrewBrauer, Alpha-lonewolf, and Mdkid663|
|Other episodes by the author|
The Naked Jones
Flatch decides to annoy Rare, but she decides to use him for some payback against someone.
(Rare wakes up from bed in her home)
Rare: (Yawns) That was some good sleeping.
(Goes out to her patio and sits in her hot tub)
Rare: Such a beautiful day.
(Hears a crash in her kitchen)
Rare: (Thinks) Oh no, it must be that dumb purple girl again. (Ignores the crash)
(She then hears the TV turned on loud)
Rare: (Sighs) Okay, who's there? Is it you Fifi?
(Hears a deep loud burp)
Rare: (Disgusted) Ew! That is vile! (Gets up and walks inside)
(Sees muddy foot prints all over the floor and hears the water running in the kitchen)
Male Voice: (from the living room) Ha this show is so funny! (fart sound)
Rare: (Angry) Who are you!?
Brown man: A guy hanging out here. (sniffs and rubs his face before wiping his hands on the couch)
Rare: How dare you! (Pushes the brown man off her couch)
Brown man: that was rude. but you might want to clean up those Bar-B-Que stains off the couch.
Rare: No! You are! You made the mess, now you must clean the mess!
Brown Man: Nah, it gives the place more color.
Rare: (Angry) No, it makes my place look like shit! (Slaps the brown man)
Brown Man: (barely hurt) Good thing for all the dirt build up on me that I can barely feel it. (Rare's hand is covered in muck)
Rare: (Disgusted) You are disgusting! (Washes her hands in the sink) Now get out of my house before I call my guards!
Brown man: That would prove to be bad for them.
Rare: Alright then, GUARDS! (Four bodyguards show up and pick up the brown man) Take him out of my home!
Brown Man: Now you'll know why they call me Flatch. (Farts out that floods the whole house and knocks out the guards from the smell)
Rare: (Covers her nose) Shit! How did you do that!?
Flatch: Naturally. It smells like dandelions to me. (Sniffs in deep and sighs)
Rare: (Puts on a gas mask) Now, get out now!
(Ryle was watching them from outside and laughs)
Rare: (To Ryle) You think this is funny?
Flatch: You think that gas mask will save you?
(Flatch farts out long and loud at Rare and the blast of the fart is able to blow off her mask)
Ryle: Yeah, yeah I do.
Flatch: What do you have in the fridge? (looks through the fridge making a mess)
Rare: (Coughs) Get out of my fridge! (Runs out of the mansion, and closes the door) Oh my god!
Flatch: (Comes out with a messy pile of food on a large plate) You're out of ice cream and milk. Might want to get some when you go to the store.
Rare: Why don't you go get your own fucking food, and get away from me!!
Flatch: My home is too far and I don't have a wide selection like you rich people. Give to the poor I always say.
Rare: Do I look I fucking care?
Flatch: Well if you don't care then neither do I. (heads to her back yard over to the pool)
Rare: (Follows him) You're not helping!
Ryle: This'll be fun.
Flatch: I thought you didn't care. (Jumps in and starts spreading filth in the water) it's like a big bath tub.
Rare: (Growls) (To Ryle) Are you gonna do something, or just stare like a fucking idiot!?
Flatch: I haven't taken a bath for a year. man this feels good.
Flatch: (to Rare) Can you put in more chlorine? soap just doesn't do it for me. (fart in the pool turning the water green)
Rare: (Sighs) What can I do, do that you can leave me alone?
Flatch: Some lunch sounds good and a good massage would be nice. also i would like to borrow your bedroom for tonight. You can sleep on the couch.
Rare: Why are you acting like you live in my house?
Ryle: (to Flatch) Hey! You!
Flatch: Yeah what do you want who ever you are? (burps)
Rare: (To Ryle) And I'm still mad at you for ruining my music video!
Flatch: You know I can make music? (farts out a complex song)
Rare: (Thinks) I can figure out a way to make this fun. (To Flatch) Hey, wanna do something funny?
Flatch: and what would that be? (Snorts and spits out a loogie right at Rare's feet)
Rare: (Washes her feet with a hose) Just wait.
(Grabs a lead pipe and knocks out Ryle)
Rare: (To Flatch) Now help me pick him up, he's heavy.
Flatch: Okay. oh and just to let you know, my last trip to your toilet was a bit too much for it to handle. You're going to need a whole new bathroom remodel.
Ryle: (unconscious) Watch where ya walking nigga. (faints)
(Ryle wakes up and finds himself chained to a table, blindfolded, and dizzy)
Flatch: So what is the fun thing you were talking about?
Rare: Just wait, I invited someone.
(The door knocks and Jade comes in)
Jade: You wanted me Rare?
Rare: Yes, I needed you here for a plan to get back at Ryle.
Ryle: (dizzy) What's good nigga?
Flatch: Well you're not right now.
(Ryle's head falls and he is fast asleep)
Flatch: do you need Ryle awake?
Rare: Jade will start this.
(Jade stands up on the table on top of Ryle and slaps him, he wakes up, but still can't see anything)
Flatch: Should have made me do that. (chuckles)
Jade: (To Ryle) Wake up pussy!
Ryle: (wakes up) What? (realizes) Aah shit.
(Jade begins to bootyshake on Ryle's crotch)
Jade: Does that feel good?
(Jade's natural smell begins to make Ryle feel aroused)
Flatch: So you are torturing him through pleasure?
Rare: (To Flatch) Here's the plan, after a good minute of that bootyshaking, I'll take the blindfold off and you'll fart as much as you can on Ryle, got it?
Flatch: Doesn't make much sense, but okay.
(Jade continues and she feels Ryle's boner)
Jade: Alright Rare, I think it's time.
(Jade gets off the table, Rare brings Flatch to Ryle's face, she takes off his blindfold and Flatch makes a fart so foul that it almost kills him)
Rare: (Holds her nose) Yes!
Ryle: Ah! What the fuck!?
Rare: (To Ryle) Payback bitch!
Ryle: Oh! YOU ARE SO DEAD!!!
Rare: (To Flatch) Keep it going, at this rate, he'll stink for a whole month!
Ryle: OH HELL NO!!!
(Ryle begins to break free from the chains)
Rare: Oh shit! (To Flatch) Do something quick!
Flatch: (About to leave through the door) I think it's best to leave this with a blast. (Aims his ass down towards them with a lit match) Free burn! (blows them all up in the fart explosion)
Jade: (From a distance) That was some fun revenge.