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Flatch Attack
Rare and Flatch
Ew!
Air date 5-18-14
Written by AndrewBrauer, Alpha-lonewolf, and Mdkid663
Directed by AndrewBrauer
Location Rare's Mansion
Other episodes by the author

Rare Happiness

The Naked Jones

  Flatch decides to annoy Rare, but she decides to use him for some payback against someone.

Characters

Transcript

(Rare wakes up from bed in her home)

Rare: (Yawns) That was some good sleeping.

(Goes out to her patio and sits in her hot tub)

Rare: Such a beautiful day.

(Hears a crash in her kitchen)

Rare: (Thinks) Oh no, it must be that dumb purple girl again. (Ignores the crash)

(She then hears the TV turned on loud)

Rare: (Sighs) Okay, who's there? Is it you Fifi?

(Hears a deep loud burp)

Rare: (Disgusted) Ew! That is vile! (Gets up and walks inside)

(Sees muddy foot prints all over the floor and hears the water running in the kitchen)

Male Voice: (from the living room) Ha this show is so funny! (fart sound)

Rare: (Angry) Who are you!?

Brown man: A guy hanging out here. (sniffs and rubs his face before wiping his hands on the couch)

Rare: How dare you! (Pushes the brown man off her couch)

Brown man: that was rude. but you might want to clean up those Bar-B-Que stains off the couch.

Rare: No! You are! You made the mess, now you must clean the mess!

Brown Man: Nah, it gives the place more color.

Rare: (Angry) No, it makes my place look like shit! (Slaps the brown man)

Brown Man: (barely hurt) Good thing for all the dirt build up on me that I can barely feel it. (Rare's hand is covered in muck)

Rare: (Disgusted) You are disgusting! (Washes her hands in the sink) Now get out of my house before I call my guards!

Brown man: That would prove to be bad for them.

Rare: Alright then, GUARDS! (Four bodyguards show up and pick up the brown man) Take him out of my home!

Brown Man: Now you'll know why they call me Flatch. (Farts out that floods the whole house and knocks out the guards from the smell)

Rare: (Covers her nose) Shit! How did you do that!?

Flatch: Naturally. It smells like dandelions to me. (Sniffs in deep and sighs)

Rare: (Puts on a gas mask) Now, get out now!

(Ryle was watching them from outside and laughs)

Rare: (To Ryle) You think this is funny?

Flatch: You think that gas mask will save you?

(Flatch farts out long and loud at Rare and the blast of the fart is able to blow off her mask)

Ryle: Yeah, yeah I do.

Flatch: What do you have in the fridge? (looks through the fridge making a mess)

Rare: (Coughs) Get out of my fridge! (Runs out of the mansion, and closes the door) Oh my god!

Flatch: (Comes out with a messy pile of food on a large plate) You're out of ice cream and milk. Might want to get some when you go to the store.

Rare: Why don't you go get your own fucking food, and get away from me!!

Flatch: My home is too far and I don't have a wide selection like you rich people. Give to the poor I always say.

Rare: Do I look I fucking care?

Flatch: Well if you don't care then neither do I. (heads to her back yard over to the pool)

Rare: (Follows him) You're not helping!

Ryle: This'll be fun.

Flatch: I thought you didn't care. (Jumps in and starts spreading filth in the water) it's like a big bath tub.

Rare: (Growls) (To Ryle) Are you gonna do something, or just stare like a fucking idiot!?

Flatch: I haven't taken a bath for a year. man this feels good.

(Rare faceplams)

Flatch: (to Rare) Can you put in more chlorine? soap just doesn't do it for me. (fart in the pool turning the water green)

Rare: (Sighs) What can I do, do that you can leave me alone?

Flatch: Some lunch sounds good and a good massage would be nice. also i would like to borrow your bedroom for tonight. You can sleep on the couch.

Rare: Why are you acting like you live in my house?

Ryle: (to Flatch) Hey! You!

Flatch: Yeah what do you want who ever you are? (burps)

Rare: (To Ryle) And I'm still mad at you for ruining my music video!

Flatch: You know I can make music? (farts out a complex song)

Rare: (Thinks) I can figure out a way to make this fun. (To Flatch) Hey, wanna do something funny?

Flatch: and what would that be? (Snorts and spits out a loogie right at Rare's feet)

Rare: (Washes her feet with a hose) Just wait.

(Grabs a lead pipe and knocks out Ryle)

Rare: (To Flatch) Now help me pick him up, he's heavy.

Flatch: Okay. oh and just to let you know, my last trip to your toilet was a bit too much for it to handle. You're going to need a whole new bathroom remodel.

Ryle: (unconscious) Watch where ya walking nigga. (faints)

(Ryle wakes up and finds himself chained to a table, blindfolded, and dizzy)

Flatch: So what is the fun thing you were talking about?

Rare: Just wait, I invited someone.

(The door knocks and Jade comes in)

Jade: You wanted me Rare?

Rare: Yes, I needed you here for a plan to get back at Ryle.

Ryle: (dizzy) What's good nigga?

Flatch: Well you're not right now.

(Ryle's head falls and he is fast asleep)

Flatch: do you need Ryle awake?

Rare: Jade will start this.

(Jade stands up on the table on top of Ryle and slaps him, he wakes up, but still can't see anything)

Flatch: Should have made me do that. (chuckles)

Jade: (To Ryle) Wake up pussy!

Ryle: (wakes up) What? (realizes) Aah shit.

(Jade begins to bootyshake on Ryle's crotch)

Jade: Does that feel good?

(Jade's natural smell begins to make Ryle feel aroused)

Flatch: So you are torturing him through pleasure?

Rare: (To Flatch) Here's the plan, after a good minute of that bootyshaking, I'll take the blindfold off and you'll fart as much as you can on Ryle, got it?

Flatch: Doesn't make much sense, but okay.

(Jade continues and she feels Ryle's boner)

Jade: Alright Rare, I think it's time.

(Jade gets off the table, Rare brings Flatch to Ryle's face, she takes off his blindfold and Flatch makes a fart so foul that it almost kills him)

Rare: (Holds her nose) Yes!

Ryle: Ah! What the fuck!?

Rare: (To Ryle) Payback bitch!

Ryle: Oh! YOU ARE SO DEAD!!!

Rare: (To Flatch) Keep it going, at this rate, he'll stink for a whole month!

Ryle: OH HELL NO!!!

(Ryle begins to break free from the chains)

Rare: Oh shit! (To Flatch) Do something quick!

Flatch: (About to leave through the door) I think it's best to leave this with a blast. (Aims his ass down towards them with a lit match) Free burn! (blows them all up in the fart explosion)

Jade: (From a distance) That was some fun revenge.

The End

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