|Fools of April|
"April Fools mother fucker!"
|Air date||April 2nd, 2014|
|Written by||YoshiRocker13, Alpha-Lonewolf|
|Other episodes by the author|
Red and Wolf play April Fools pranks on everyone in the town, they all decide to strike back with help from a purple idiot...
- Red (antagonist)
- Wolf (antagonist)
- Professor Stick
- Lord Tourettes
- Lady Tourettes
(Red was sleeping in his bed in Wolf's home)
Wolf: (jumps on Red's bed and puts the end of a shotgun in his face) You got two seconds to figure out what day it is asshole!
Red: Uh, T- Tuesday! (shrieks) Don't shoot me! I thought we were friends! (cries)
Wolf: (pulls the trigger a fart comes out of the gun in Red's face) It's April fools day you boob! (laughs)
Red: (gags) The fuck is your problem?!
Wolf: this is my next favorite time of year! time to get out the old pranks and let the laughs fly... mostly my laughs.
Red: Alright bro, I forgive you. (suddenly opens a curtain which shows Fox's dead corpse with blood spilled everywhere)
Wolf: (frozen still) you do know what you have done right? (Slams Red against a wall) What you did Red was forget one serious thing!
Red: Wh- What!?
(they hear Fox scream in her room)
Red: FOX!?! (runs into her room)
Wolf: I knew that wasn't Fox cuz I set her up with a prank to know it wasn't her.
Fox: (Comes out looking pale) I can't believe it! I don't know how it happened!
Red: What?! What happened?!
Fox: (holds out a pregnancy tester that tested positive) I found this in me when I woke up... I'm pregnant.
Wolf: That's if i didn't color it to test positive before putting it in her for an April Fools joke (laughs)
Fox: ... what?
Wolf: April fools Foxy Loxy!
Fox: WOOOOOLF!!! (shakes the whole cabin)
Wolf: Oh shit! gotta go! (Dashes out of the cabin)
Red: W- Wait for me! (Dashes out the cabin)
(Later in the city.)
Red: Dude, that prank on Fox was a terrible idea.
Wolf: at least we lived to prank the rest of the day right?
Red: Hell yeah braw!
(at Flame's house)
Flame: Today is April Fools, so today is when I MUST control my anger..
(a knock at the door)
Flame: (answers) Hello?
(A pie flies into Flame's face)
Red: April Fools fucker! (laughs)
Flame: (pissed off) YOU FUCKERS WILL PAY FOR THIS!!!
Wolf: just to let you know that isn't cream on the pie!
Flame: Then what is it!?
Red: it's semen!
Flame: EUGH!!! YOU WILL REGERET THE DAY YOU WERE BORN!!!
Bitchess: Aah April Fools. The day I prank all those losers.
(Bitchess begins to hear eggs being tossed at her house)
Bitchess: (looks out her window) Hey! What are you- (notices Wolf with Red) YOU!!! (storms outside) YOU TWO HAD BETTER STOP THROWING EGGS AT MY HOUSE!
(Bitchess then sinks in her sidewalk up to her neck)
Bitchess: What the fuck!? (tries to get out) Did you put wet cement here!?
Wolf: this was phase one of our april fools joke to you.
Bitchess: FUCK YOU!!! (struggles to get out) NOW I HAVE MORE HATE INTO YOU!!!
Red: But don't you want to know about phase two?
Bitchess: (glares at Red) What's phase two!?
Wolf: Those eggs belonged to a dozen eagles (tosses the eagles' nest right next to Bitchess)
Red: See ya.
(both Red and Wolf run away right when eagles land next to Bitchess looking angry)
Bitchess: (Angrily to the Eagles) The fuck are you lookin' at little hairballs?!
(The Eagles start swooping and scratching Bitchess.)
(Blue and Pink were sitting in the park)
Pink: (glares around) I don't trust people on April Fools day...
Blue: Don't worry, I'll make sure no one gets you..
(a giant tentacle comes out from a bush and grabs Pink)
Pink: (screams in fear) HELP!
Blue: PINK! (looks around in shock) Where's a sword when you need one!?
Deep Voice: I Ocho Muerte have come to wreak my vengeance on you!
Blue: WHAT?! But I thought you were dead!
Ocho Muerte's Voice: (from behind the bush) Fool! you can't stop us!
Blue: (pulls a sword out) Of course I- wait.. US?
(Wolf moves the bush to show him and Red operating a mechanical tentacle holding Pink)
Red: April fools!
Blue: GOD DAMN IT!
Pink: WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!
Wolf: (laughs) You should have seen the looks on you faces!
Pink: SHUT UP!
Red: Well, have fun being weirdos! (runs off with Wolf)
(shows Raccoon making sushi in his home)
Wolf: (Burst through his doors) RUN RACCOON! THEY'RE DROPPING THE BOMB OVER HIROSHIMA!
Raccoon: Hory Shit! What do I do?!
Red: (opens a lid in the ground) Jump in here quick!
(Raccoon jumps in the hole in the ground and makes a splat sound. As Red and Wolf laugh, Raccoon pokes his head out of the hole covered in shit)
Red: That is the septic tank!
Wolf: April fools!
(Raccoon growls with anger and whacks Red and Wolf across their heads with his staff)
Raccoon: (storms off) I knew i wasn't in-a Hiroshima!
(Red and Wolf continue to laugh)
(Lord Tourettes was skipping through the city)
Wolf: Hey L.T.? I have some bad news.
Lord Tourettes: Wh- What the FUCK is it?
Red: They cut down the shit piss fart woods to build a city dump.
Lord Tourettes: NOOOOOO!!!
Wolf: And Lady Tourettes was in the house before they knocked it down.
Lord Tourettes: NO! Not my BITCH! (cries)
Lady Tourettes: But I'm right here...
Red: (hands over a piece of wood to Lord Tourettes) I think you should have this made from a tree of the woods.
Lord Tourettes: (cries with waterfalls)
Lady Tourettes: L.T.! Don't cry!
(The wooden sign say April Fools on it)
(Lord Tourettes becomes angry as steam comes out his ears)
Lord Tourettes: GODDAMNMOTHERFUCKINGCUNTBALLSOFPUSSYASSDICKLICKERS!!! (pants)
(Wolf and Red run off laughing)
(Broseph was flirting with girls)
Broseph: Nice boobies ladies.
(Wolf and Red knock out Broseph and later he wakes up tied to a chair)
Broseph: Aaw uncool bras! Where am I anyways?
Wolf: we just wanted to give you a little gift.
Red: We noticed that you needed a hair cut, so we gave you one.
Broseph: Uh, that's kind of nice of you brahs...
(Wolf shows Broseph a mirror to show him completely bald)
Wolf: We made sure to rip out the roots of your hair so it doesn't grow back.
Broseph: (screams) MY SEXY HAIR!
Red: Here is what's left of the hair we didn't burn.
(gives him a small bag of hair)
Broseph: My hair! (puts the remains on his head)
Wolf: (takes off a fake rubber scalp from Broseph's head covering his hair) April fools!
Broseph: I HATE YOU BROS!
Red: we hate you too. (kick Broseph over in his chair)
(shows Fox walking through the city with a pissed look on her face)
Fox: How could he do that to me? I want to get him back but how?
(Flame, Bitchess, along with everyone else Red and Wolf pranked walk by Fox with pissed faces)
Fox: (Noticed them) Wolf and Red got you too?
Flame: FUCK YEAH THEY DID!!!
Bitchess: THEY MADE EAGLES ATTACK ME!
Lord Tourettes: THEY LIED TO ME AND SAID MY HOUSE WAS DESTROYED!
Blue: They practically got ALL of us!
Fox: (looks at Broseph with a cage over his hair) Why are you wearing that?
Broseph: They tricked me into thinking my hair was cut off! I'm making sure no one does that again!
Bitchess: I swear, I'm going to get them back!
Blue: We gotta do something!
Raccoon: No-a doubt Worf wirr be-a prepared for a prank on-a him for-a retariation
(Bitchess has a thought)
Bitchess: Why don't we get that retarded purple bitch onto him?
Blue: You mean Fifi?
Bitchess: Yeah, whatever her name is.
Lord Tourettes: Isn't that CUNT with that DICK!?!
Blue: Actually, I got an idea. (to Professor Stick's lab)
Professor Stick: So you want me to bring in Fifi from the past? A fifi that's obsessed with Wolf?
Bitchess: Does it really fucking matter? As long as one of them is obsessed with Wolf!
(goes back to the events of The Annoying Thing)
Rapper: GET THE FUCK OFF ME YOU RETARDED FUCK!
Fifi: (Sees Professor Stick) AHH! Mummy!
(Professor Stick holds a cookie for Fifi to get)
Professor Stick: Come with me and I'll take you to a place where Wolf will marry you.
Fifi: YIPPY! COOKIE MARRIED!
(Professor Stick takes Fifi back to the present, it shows the present Fifi with Bruce, suddenly the present Fifi disappears)
Bruce: WHAT THE FUCK!?
(back to the lab)
Professor Stick: It wasn't easy, but I got her.
Fifi: (points at Flame) You look like an apple.
Flame: SHUT UP!!!
Pink: Alright, let's do this.
(shows Blink at the park eating ice cream)
Wolf: (puts the yellow contacts on Red) Remember just try to act as if you're possessed again.
(Red approaches Blink with a dark demonic voice and black eyes)
Blink: (freaks out) Who are you!?
Red: Your flesh looks tasty.
(Blink screams in fear)
(Red approaches Blink with a demonic laugh)
Red: Now to take your soul...
Blink: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (cries very loudly) (Wolf laughs in the bushes when suddenly Fifi jumps onto him with joy)
Wolf: What the fuck?!
Fifi: WOLFY POO!
Wolf: What the fuck is wrong with you?!
(Red backs away but falls into a pit, where the Fat Ugly Girl falls onto Red)
Wolf: If you don't get off me Fifi. I'm going to resort to my new secret weapon.
Fifi: A wedding ring like you promised?
Wolf: (About to get angry) That does it. THERE IS A GIRL HERE FORCING ME TO MARRY HER!!!
Goldie: (Out of nowhere Goldie tackles Fifi and starts punching and scratching her) I'll cut you for living!
Fifi: Yay! Tickle fight!
Blue: (Watching) Whoa, I seriously didn't see that one coming.
Bitchess: Well whatever! At least we got him back! (laughs evily) My revenge is complete.
Everyone: April Fools Everyone!
Red: Is anyone gonna let me out of here?!
- First April Fools Episode.
- First time Bitchess wins in the end.