Future Dicks
Future Dicks 3
The Future
Air date May 2013
Written by YoshiRocker13, Alpha-Lonewolf Fluffydragonpuppy & CookieEyes (made 2 photos)
Set in Future
Other episodes by the author

The Snake & Rapper

Tourettes Love (Season 4)

 Taking place in the year 2030. Red & Stacy now have two kids that act like Red & Stacy. Blue finds parenting a little harder than usuall and many other things. Will the gang be able to reunite with each other after so many years?


The Adults

The Kids

  • Red Jr. (Red & Stacy's oldest son)
  • Tracy (Red & Stacy's youngest daughter)
  • James (Blue & Pink's only son)


(zooms in on the city as hovercars are seen flying around the city. It shows a house inside with Red playing with his two kids on Flame War)

Red Jr: I'm gonna win dad!


(shows Tracy's avatar killing Red's avatar)

Red: WHAT!?

Tracy: Ha! Got ya dad!

(Stacy walks in the room with bags of food and drops them with shock)

Red: (nervous) Oh! Uh Hi honey!

Stacy: (angry) Red!

Red Jr: Mom! We're sorry we played an adult game!

Stacy: No! You guys forgot to invite me!

Red: (pulls out a controller) There's room for one more bitch in this game!

Stacy: (grabs the controller and starts playing)

(Now it zooms on a church with Broseph & Emily about to marry. Wednesday is seen in the background with a pissed look on her face)

Wednesday: (pissed) Lucky bitch!

Rapper: (from behind Wednesday's seat) Oh get over it bitch! Besides there's more than one handsome man in this world!

Wolf: (bust through a window with a M-240 machine gun) ALRIGHT NOBODY MOVE!!! (everyone freezes and Wolf then lowers his weapon) Damn it wrong church. Sorry go back to what you were doing. (jumps through another window)

Lord Tourettes: (as priest) We are FUCKED here today because these two BITCHES are going to marry. Emily. Do you FUCK this man to be your lawfully wedded DICK as long as you both shall live?

Emily: I do! And I WILL fuck him.

Lord Tourettes: And Broseph. Do you take this BITCH to be your lawfully wedded FUCK as long as you both shall live?

Broseph: I do bra!

Lord Tourettes: I now pronounce you BITCH and DICK! You may now FUCK the bride!

(Emily & Broseph kiss and everyone but Wednesday cheer)

Emily: Woo!!! So we can fuck now?

Broseph: Fuck yeah baby!

Emily: (cheers and takes dress off)

(Emily & Broseph start making out and everyone leaves shockingly. Now it shows Wolf with blood on his face walking down the street with Fox)

Fox: Okay Wolf now tell me calmly, did you kill anyone important?

Wolf: (calms down) It was just a foreign drug lord.

Fox: (face palms) Wolf.

Wolf: It's okay I got the head leader. (pulls out drug lord leader's head) And I meant that literally.

(They run into Blue walking with his light blue son James)

Blue: Oh no. If Wolf does anything stupid in front of James, Pink's gonna kill me!

James: Dad? Who are those two?

Blue: Uh no one son! Let's just go! (they walk off but run into Wolf & Fox)

Wolf: Hey Blue! (waves and flings drops of blood on Blue and his son)

James: (disgusted) What the?

Blue: Wolf! Seriously!? ON MY SON!?

Wolf: Hey he's going to see it some time, it might as well be now.

James: (scared backs up slowly and bumps into Fox) Aah!

Fox: Oh I'm sorry sweety.

James: (too scared to speak)

Blue: It's alright Fox. He doesn't really like talking to people he doesn't know.

Fox: Well this guy is one person you should never get to know.

Wolf: Hey!

(Soon Steve arrives with Holly who has a pregnant belly)

Steve: Hey guys!

Fox: Hey Steve.

Wolf: (hears something) Duty calls! (pulls out a grapple gun and zips off)

Emily: (walks down street with Broseph) Haha, you said duty.

Blue: Hey guys!

Emily: Blue, guess what? Broseph's my husband now!!

Blue: Hah. Good for you!

(A bullet goes right through Broseph's head. Far off Wolf is holding a sniper gun on the roof)

Wolf: No one makes a joke off of me like that. (leaves)

Emily: NOO!!! Not my new husband! (cries over Broseph)

Blue: I got this. (brings out defibrillators) Clear!

Broseph: (Springs up) Aah! What the hell just happened bra!?

Fox: Not exactly a long story but Wolf shot you again.

Blue: (to Emily) Your lucky I just saved your husband's ass.

Emily: I'm so glad you're okay sweetie. (kisses Broseph on the cheek)

(Now it shows Rapper looking out to the city from the top of a building narrating)

Rapper: This city is quite a big city. Full of criminals and danger. And there will always be people out there to stop them. My name is Rapper. And I bring out a message to everyone at here. I May have been a great warrior for the past few years. But now.... I've officially retired from killing and now going to discover the real life of people these days. My mission is complete. And now I must... (suddenly Wolf accidentally bumps into Rapper) What the fuck dude!?

Wolf: Sorry dude I got a bit a pickle to sort out. (runs across the roof tops as three alien ships pursue Wolf and shooting the tops off buildings to try and hit Wolf)

Rapper: (Narrates) And so my journey has come to an end so I now leave to kill more criminals, go on dangerous adventures and you know the rest! (jumps from building to building)

(Now it shows Pink back at Blue's house reading a book)

Pink: Well I sure hope you two had a great time at the- (notices blood on James) Blue! Why is there blood on James!?

Blue: It wasn't me it was Wolf!

Pink: (face palm) Oh great.

(shows Rapper at the Drunken Bear tavern with a bored look on his face. Lad gives Rapper a drink and wonders why Rapper looks so bored)

Lad: Oi wee lad, Why so down?

Rapper: (sighs) I can't even think if it was such a great idea to retire from killing and stuff.

Lad: You know wee laddie, Wolf and I never once thought of retiring and you know why?

Rapper: Why?

Lad: It's who we are and what we do. No matter how we try to deny it, it is what we lads ever knew and ever learned and it has become part of us like the blood that keeps us alive.

Rapper: You know you're right! I will do what I always WILL do! (crashes through window)

Bruce: (walking down the street with some flowers talking to himself) Alright Bruce. This is your chance to ask Fifi to be your girlfriend! Snake's outta town and I'll be able to ask her!

Fifi: (runs into Bruce) AHH! it's the boogie man!

Bruce: No Fifi! It's just me! The "sticky-head man!"

Fifi: Who?

Bruce: And her stupidness strikes again! It's me Bruce!

Fifi: Who?

Bruce: Aah you know what screw this. (walks off but Fifi stops him)

Fifi: Wait boogie man!

Bruce: (bored) Whaaaaaaaaaat?

Fifi: Do you have a pepper?

Bruce: What? (pulls out pepper)

Fifi: OH! it's you Bruce. Now I remember.

Bruce: Oh brother. So um Fifi. Do you........ want to be my........ girlfriend?

Fifi: You silly silly potato, I'm everyone's girlfriend.

Bruce: What???

Fifi: I am a girl and I am everyone's friend doy. (rubs Bruce on the head)

Bruce: (face palm) And she doesn't even understand! There's no way I'll be able to be with her if she won't understand! (storms off but Fifi stops him again)

Fifi: Where are you going Mr. Potato Head?

Bruce: (sighs) Why don't you go find Wolf!? I heard he misses you!

Fifi: HE DOES!?!? (runs over Bruce to find Wolf) I'M COMING WOLFY!!!

Bruce: There goes the idiot I'm never gonna be with!

(shows Wolf finishing off some Street Artists)

(Wolf dresses one of them as him and leaves him out for the aliens to take away. Wolf hides until the aliens take the bait)

Wolf: Well this day has been... (Wolf is tackled by Fifi)

Fifi: WOLFY!!!


Fifi: You did miss me!

Wolf: Who the fuck said that!?

Fifi: Uh.. wait I can do this.

Wolf: (deadpanned) You forgot who. What a surprise.

Fifi: Okay let me think what did that person say to me last?

(thinks back what happened in her head)

Giant Cookie King: Fifi, you are the smartest girl in the entire universe!

Fifi: Yay!

Giant Cookie King: By today, I name this day Fifi day and everyone will be as smart as you are.

Fifi: I'm the smartest person in the world!

Giant Cookie King: Now go and give Wolfy a big tasty cookie cake because he loves and misses you.

Fifi: I will Cookie King!

(back to the present)

Fifi: Good cookie king.

Wolf: You are one sad existence of life you know that?

Fifi: Yippy! I'm an existence!


Fifi: I'm going home to build you a cookie. (runs off)

Wolf: (deadpanned) Oh great. I can't wait to see what she uses to make a cookie.

Bruce: (laughs manically) I told her you moron! (Rapper comes up behind Bruce and snaps his neck)

Rapper: Yup! Bruce was the one who told Fifi you miss her.

Wolf: And now you took my chance of revenge. Oh well at least i can still do this. (pisses on Bruce's body)

(Now it shows Red, Blue, Wolf, Rapper and Lord Tourettes all together)

Red: Man guys. It sure seems like forever since we last hung out with each other.

Blue: Yeah. Sure seems like forever. Those were the good ol' days.

Wolf: Well you all live such boring lives. I've just been too busy out having fun.

Blue: You still call brutal murders fun?

Wolf: It's who I am.

Red: Yeah I remember those days.

(Red thinks back to events from Going Green, 4x Brain Switch & Resident Zombies Memesis)

Wolf: So what are you doing in Life L.T.?

Lord Tourettes: I have been FUCKING that girl named Miss Tourettes since 2013! Don't you remember? We're a RAPE-ily now!

Blue: Oh yeah.

Rapper: Say guys? How about we all go get drunk and kill some dicks just like the old days?

Everyone: YEAH! (all run off except Blue)

Blue: Aw what the heck? I'll do it to! (runs off)

-Episode Ends-


  • This was only a temperary Future episode so many things that happened here could not happen throughout the years in Dick Figures
  • Broseph could have been way older than Emily even if she was a teenager.


What do you think about this episode?

The poll was created at 07:36 on May 25, 2013, and so far 5 people voted.

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