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Get a Clue Like Us
Season 2, Episode 8
20. Get a Clue Like Us (Kappa)
Air date 12/18/13
Written by IONIXMUSIC
Directed by IONIXMUSIC
Episode guide
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Buxom Battles
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Small Little Elf
Oboes and Violet try to info out of the Elf. PART TWO OF AN EPIC THREE-PARTER.

Characters

  • ??? Elf

Transcript

???: My name is...

(Violet's robot comes crashing down into the cave.)

Violet: Hey buddy!

???: GODDAMMIT! That's the last time any robot is going to crash into my cave!

Oboes: What's your fucking name?!

???: Oh, sorry. The name's Horatio Magellan Christopher Joseph Elf. But just call me H.M.C.J. Elf.

Oboes: Can I call you C.J Elf?

C.J. Elf: Fine, but you're disgracing the family name.

Oboes: I really could care less.

Violet: So Elf, you remember me?

C.J: Why yes! I was experimenting on you when one of your idiot friends crashed in.

Violet: Hey, Red is not an idiot!

(They both stare at her blankly.)

Violet: Okay, he is,

Elf: So shall we get back to our experiment sweety?

(Oboes roundhouse kicks C.J. to the ground, and stomps on him.)

Oboes: Listen, Elf boy. One, I am not SWEETY. Second, why do you want to experiment on me anyway?!

Elf: Well, you see, I came here from a continent completely inhabited by elves. The Elf King and Queen sent me on a mission to gather info about you humans. And the best place I found to do the experiments was this inconspicuous cave!

Oboes: (quietly) Fuckin' A... (loudly) Okay C.J, I'm gonna let you go.

Violet: WHAT?! How do you know that he's not going to enslave humanity or some shit?!

C.J: Because I'm just a small little elf! Why would I do such a thing? Elves are happy creatures! Although most of elves are born with Tourettes' Syndrome...

Violet: That explains Lord Tourettes so well.

(C.J starts shaking uncontrollably.)

Violet: W-what? Was it something I said?

C.J: Dicendum, quod Daemon non ...

Oboes: He's fluent in Latin...

C.J: Et anima eius vacua est custodia ... Occidit reliqua familia ... Moribus levissimo ... Est an profana ...

(C.J starts rapidly growing bigger and bigger.)

Oboes: It was the mentioning of L.T. that provoked him!

(Oboes and Violet look up to see C.J obscured by clouds.)

Violet: Oh shit...

(Violet grabs Oboes shoulders.)

Violet: Oboes, before we die, I have one last wish.

(Oboes looks at her intently.)

Violet: Can I touch your boobs?

Oboes: *sigh*... Fine.

(She begins squeezing them.)

Violet: Wow, these are soft.

Oboes: Okay, get off! This isn't like that other series!

Violet: Okay fine.

C.J: I WILL DESTROY ALL LIFE!

(Oboes and Violet begin running towards C.J.)

C.J: HAHA...PUNY HUMANS! YOU WILL NEVER KILL ME!

Oboes: Oh, really?

C.J: HMM?

(C.J looks at Oboes.)

Oboes: I said I'm going to fuck you up.

C.J: WELL, GOOD LUCK!

(He completely destroys a random apartment building to show his power.)

C.J: DO YOU WANT TO FIGHT NOW-

(Oboes kicks his eye.)

C.J: OW! HOLY SHIT, THAT HURT!

Oboes: Pussy!

C.J: OH, FUCK YOU!!!

(Violet and Oboes begin running up C.J's leg.)

Oboes: We're gonna getcha, C.J!

(They start running faster and faster.)

C.J: B-BUT, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

Violet: This is so much fun!

(They both jump in the air, as C.J turns around to see Violet and Oboes ready to strike.)

END. CONTINUED IN SMALL LITTLE ELF.

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