|Get a Clue Like Us|
|Season 2, Episode 8|
Small Little Elf
- ??? Elf
???: My name is...
(Violet's robot comes crashing down into the cave.)
Violet: Hey buddy!
???: GODDAMMIT! That's the last time any robot is going to crash into my cave!
Oboes: What's your fucking name?!
???: Oh, sorry. The name's Horatio Magellan Christopher Joseph Elf. But just call me H.M.C.J. Elf.
Oboes: Can I call you C.J Elf?
C.J. Elf: Fine, but you're disgracing the family name.
Oboes: I really could care less.
Violet: So Elf, you remember me?
C.J: Why yes! I was experimenting on you when one of your idiot friends crashed in.
Violet: Hey, Red is not an idiot!
(They both stare at her blankly.)
Violet: Okay, he is,
Elf: So shall we get back to our experiment sweety?
(Oboes roundhouse kicks C.J. to the ground, and stomps on him.)
Oboes: Listen, Elf boy. One, I am not SWEETY. Second, why do you want to experiment on me anyway?!
Elf: Well, you see, I came here from a continent completely inhabited by elves. The Elf King and Queen sent me on a mission to gather info about you humans. And the best place I found to do the experiments was this inconspicuous cave!
Oboes: (quietly) Fuckin' A... (loudly) Okay C.J, I'm gonna let you go.
Violet: WHAT?! How do you know that he's not going to enslave humanity or some shit?!
C.J: Because I'm just a small little elf! Why would I do such a thing? Elves are happy creatures! Although most of elves are born with Tourettes' Syndrome...
Violet: That explains Lord Tourettes so well.
(C.J starts shaking uncontrollably.)
Violet: W-what? Was it something I said?
C.J: Dicendum, quod Daemon non ...
Oboes: He's fluent in Latin...
C.J: Et anima eius vacua est custodia ... Occidit reliqua familia ... Moribus levissimo ... Est an profana ...
(C.J starts rapidly growing bigger and bigger.)
Oboes: It was the mentioning of L.T. that provoked him!
(Oboes and Violet look up to see C.J obscured by clouds.)
Violet: Oh shit...
(Violet grabs Oboes shoulders.)
Violet: Oboes, before we die, I have one last wish.
(Oboes looks at her intently.)
Violet: Can I touch your boobs?
Oboes: *sigh*... Fine.
(She begins squeezing them.)
Violet: Wow, these are soft.
Oboes: Okay, get off! This isn't like that other series!
Violet: Okay fine.
C.J: I WILL DESTROY ALL LIFE!
(Oboes and Violet begin running towards C.J.)
C.J: HAHA...PUNY HUMANS! YOU WILL NEVER KILL ME!
Oboes: Oh, really?
(C.J looks at Oboes.)
Oboes: I said I'm going to fuck you up.
C.J: WELL, GOOD LUCK!
(He completely destroys a random apartment building to show his power.)
C.J: DO YOU WANT TO FIGHT NOW-
(Oboes kicks his eye.)
C.J: OW! HOLY SHIT, THAT HURT!
C.J: OH, FUCK YOU!!!
(Violet and Oboes begin running up C.J's leg.)
Oboes: We're gonna getcha, C.J!
(They start running faster and faster.)
C.J: B-BUT, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!
Violet: This is so much fun!
(They both jump in the air, as C.J turns around to see Violet and Oboes ready to strike.)