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Grey Date
Grey Date
"This is quite, okay."
Air date 19-10-2013
Written by YoshiRocker13 and CookieEyes
Directed by YoshiRocker13
Location Restaurant and Earl Grey's Mansion
Other episodes by the author

Creepy Tales of Dick Figures

Overboard Blink

 Earl Grey thinks it's time to get a wife. Unfortunately for Rapper, Earl Grey kidnaps Rei. Will Earl Grey marry her? Or will Rapper get her back?

Characters

Transcript

Blue: (walks in) Hey Rapper, what's up.

Rapper: Not much, go fuckers. (continues playing)

Blue: Hey Pink wanted me to ask how you and Rei are doing?

Rapper: Great, great.

Blue: Okay, when was the last time you saw her?

Rapper: Two weeks ago.

Blue: Doing what?

Rapper: Blowing shit up.

Blue: Have you two ever, gone out on a date?

Rapper: What?

Blue: I said, have you two ever gone out on a date?

Rapper: Dates are for pussies.

Blue: But that's the only way to move your relationship to the next level? I mean do you even love her?

Rapper: OF COURSE I do!

Blue: JUST ask her out and you'll be fine!

Rapper: (grumbles) Fine!

(meanwhile. Rei is preparing to go out bullying with the others.)

Rei: Alright… Should I bring the gloves or the brass knuckles…?

(Rei hears her phone ring, and goes to pick it up)

Rei: Sup? Question; are you Dylan? Follow up question; were you expecting Kari to answer?

Rapper: Relax Rei, it's me and I was not expecting Kari to answer since I rung your cell phone.

(Rei blushes while feeling embarrassed)

Rei: …Oh.

Rapper: SO after having a bit of a talk with Blue, I was thinking if you and I could.... uh...... go out on a date tonight?

Rei: Umm, actually, I was gonna go out with Katorou & Kari for some bullying…

Rapper: Well how about tomorrow?

Rei: Tomorrow it is then.

(later at Earl Grey's mansion)

Earl Grey: Ugh! Gerald is out and I can't even think of anything evil to do! How terrifying! Every time I get my ass kicked by those pathetic Butt-Man and Loser.

Darla: Perhaps you should take a break for a while. Even villains need their time to brainstorm.

Earl Grey: (thinks) You know what I need Darla, someone to help me more often, someone to look out for me. Like a, (background turns into hearts sparkling) WIFE!

Darla: Then go look for one. It’s not that difficult to find a woman your age, is it not?

Earl Grey: BUTLERS! Listen up! WE are going to find me a wife! (butlers groan)

(they fly out leaving Darla alone)

Darla: (chuckles) Good. Now I have time to work on my horror story. (takes out a large kitchen knife while laughing darkly)

(meanwhile, Kari helps Rei put her dress on for the date)

Rei: Hey! Not too tight!

Kari: Sorry. I’ve never tied a dress before.

Rei: You’ve never tied your own shoes before either.

(back to Rapper's house)

Blue: Go get em buddy.

Red: Knock the bitch dead!

Rapper: Yeah whatever. (leaves)

(soon they arrive at a restaurant)

Rapper: Seriously? How many restaurants are they going to open in this town!?

Rei: Well, there's gonna be some Restaurant Wars coming here this year. Maybe that's why. The same thing once happened in Tokyo.

(as they walk inside, a butler watches them)

Butler: (to speaker) Sir, I think we may have found your wife.

(in the restaurant) 

Waiter: Could I have your order?

Rei: I'll have a hamburger with bacon, lettuce, tomato, fish, cheese, onions, lots of pickles, scrambled eggs, cucumber, rice, potato, and avocado.

Rapper: Nice. Me too.

Waiter: Of course. (walks off)

Rei: I'll have a hamburger with bacon, lettuce, tomato, fish, cheese, onions, lots of pickles, scrambled eggs, cucumber, rice, potato, and avocado.

Rapper: Nice. Me too.

Waiter: Of course. (waks off)

Rei: AND THE BUNS BETTER BE TOASTED!

Waiter: (shrieks) Yes of course! Right away!

Rapper: Now that's what I call a bad girl. Just the way I like it.

Rei: You know it!

(later, the food comes)

Waiter: Here you go people, a hamburger with bacon, lettuce, tomato, fish, cheese, onions, lots of pickles, scrambled eggs, cucumber, rice, potato, and avocado for both. And the girl's is toasted.

Rei: Fuck yeah! (starts eating)

(suddenly the doors and windows break with butlers running in)

Rapper: The fuck!?

Rei: (food in her mouth) Hmm?

Earl Grey: There's my future wife!

(butlers grab Rei's arms and tie her up)

Rapper: REI!

Rei: (muffled because of the food) The fuck?!

(one of the butlers stab Rapper causing him to faint. The butlers fly out with Rei)

Rei: (swallows) Okay! What's this shit about?
!
(Earl Grey places a bag on Rei)

(later, Auburn & Indigo scan the destroyed resteraunt)

Indigo: (gently shakes Rapper's body) Rapper? Are you okay?

Rapper: (slowly groaning) I- Indigo? What..... happened?

Auburn: The restaurant has been destroyed. Everyone else left.

Rapper: All I remember, Rei... Butlers.... Earl... Grey- (faints)

Auburn: ...Huh?

Indigo: (thinking) Earl Grey? Gerry's boss?

(Rapper slowly wakes up)

Auburn: So...what are you talking about?

Rapper: I went on a date with my girlfriend Rei but then Earl Grey and his butlers kidnapped her!

(suddenly cuts to the bag being bulled of Rei, who is tied up in a chair)

Rei: Great! (speaking to herself) Missing Katorou & Kari NOW, aren't you Rei? ...Shut up Rei.

Earl Grey: See Darla? She's the perfect girl for me.

Darla: (not impressed) …Early, she’s sixteen.

Gerald Butler: And how on earth did you find that shit out?

Darla: Well, I somewhat know her. (floats over to Rei) You. You’re Rei Kagerou right?

Rei: Yes! How the fuck do YOU know?!

Darla: Oh, Midnight Blaze’s girlfriend has said a lot about you.

Rei: What?! FUCKING KARI!

Earl Grey: Well who cares how young she is! (to fourth wall) It's Dick Figures. Shit happens. (to Rei) Anyways, you are going to be my wife!

Rei: Sorry, but no, foul breath! I have a fucking boyfriend and a douchebag who likes me!

Earl Grey: Then we shall kill both of them! So you'll be with me! Besides, why the fuck would you be dating a 24 year old!?

Darla: Why the fuck would SHE want to marry someone in his 40-50s?! (to the 4th wall) Men; go fig.

Earl Grey: (to Darla) SILENCE!!! (to Rei) YOU WILL MARRY ME OR ELSE!!! (pulls out his blade)

(Rei starts to shake in fear)

Darla: You know, she's not going to cooperate if you scare her like that.

Earl Grey: (growls) Very well. I shall treat her nicely.

(back with Rapper, now with Katorou & Kari)

Rapper: NO JOKE! Rei was kidnapped by that fucking old douche!

Kari: (gasps) Oh no!

Katorou: Fucking old douche? What old douche? We're not familiar with everyone in this country, you know.

Rapper: Look just follow me and we'll find her.

(back with Earl Grey and Rei)

Earl Grey: Is there anything I could do for you Rei?

(Rei raises an eyebrow, then starts to think.)

Rei: Well...I would like a hamburger with bacon, lettuce, tomato, fish, cheese, onions, pickles, cucumber, rice, seaweed,
chicken, carrots, ketchup, mustard, and avocado...with toasted buns. (grins)

Earl Grey: What?

Rei: (pissed) Is there a fucking problem?

Katorou: So, what the hell does this guy want with Rei?

Rapper: I have no idea. We'll find out when we find Rei.

(the siren goes off)

Rapper: Looks like we got some fightin' (proceeds to kill butlers)

Kari: Ow! My ears!

(Rapper takes out most butlers and kicks one up to the ceiling, crashing through the ceiling and landing on Rei's floor)

Earl Grey: What in tarnation!?

Kari: (peeks through the hole) Does anyone have any ear plugs?

Katorou: Rei!

Rei: Oh what luck. More actors that I know of.

(suddenly Katorou & Kari are pulled back by butlers. One of them kicks Katorou in the stomach while another puts Kari in a torture chamber)

Kari: Ooh! Pretty red decorations in here.

Rei: I know. It's stupid, isn't it? At least I get some respect around here. (eats her burger)

Earl Grey: If you want to win her back, you must defeat me!

(Darla suddenly grows worried.)

(Rapper & Earl Grey begin fighting with swords)

Earl Grey: You can't kill me!

Rapper: I wish I could! NO ONE MESSES WITH MY GIRL!

Rei: This movie just got better.

(Darla is shaking in fear.)

(Rapper & Earl Grey repeatedly slash swords until later when Earl Grey flies over Rapper, stabbing him in the back)

Rapper: (cuts Earl's legs off) HAH! Now you can't fly!

Darla: (whispering) No, no, no...

Rei: Woo-hoo-! (almost chokes on her burger) ...I'm okay.

Rapper: I, (gets up) WIN! (prepares to kill Earl Grey)

Darla: NO! (teleports in between them)

Rapper: What?

Darla: (shaking) P-Please...d-.....don't...

Rapper: Don't do what? Kill Earl? 

Rei: Something tells me that's exactly what she's trying to say.

Rapper: (puts sword away) Alright.... I won't.

Earl Grey: D- Darla?

(Darla takes a few breathes, then slowly starts to chuckle.)

(Suddenly Darla punches herself.) Darla: (whispering to herself(?) What the bloody hell are you doing? He decided not to kill him! I can't let you out just yet!

Rapper: I'll just take Rei and go.

Earl Grey: But I just wanted a wife!

Darla: (growls) W-Would it kill you to just wait?!

Earl Grey: Ugh! Fine! Just take your girl and leave!

(Rapper unties Rei)

Rei: Well, it was fun while it lasted.

(Rapper pulls Kari out from the torture chamber while Rei carries an unconscious Katorou)

Kari: The decorations in there were nice! Someone should host a Halloween party in there.

(they walk out of the mansion)

Rapper: Eesh, what was with that blue girl? It's like she liked Earl Grey.

Rei: Well, isn't she his daughter or something?

Earl Grey: (from the mansion) SHE'S NOT MY DAUGHTER!!

Darla: (sighs) I should probably go. Besides... (takes out a knife and sheets of paper) I have a Halloween story to become real. (walks off giggling)

(END)
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The poll was created at 12:38 on August 18, 2013, and so far 5 people voted.

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