|Heart of a Wolf|
I'm just a nice guy.
|Written by||Alpha-LoneWolf, YoshiRocker13, AndrewBauer|
|Other episodes by the author|
Rogue and Personal
God of the Monsters
Wolf has a change of heart, literally. How he changed into a completely nice guy? no one knows.
(Pink was walking home from the food store and sees Wolf heading her way)
Pink: Oh shit not here, not now!
Wolf: (Passing her) Hello Pink. Lovely day isn't it?
Pink: (a little shocked) Wait, what did you just say?
Wolf: Just that it is a lovely day. Do you need help bringing home that food?
Pink: Uhh, (drops a bag) Oh shit! Not again! (Tries picking it up with the large bags she is carrying)
Wolf: (helps her pick her food up) don’t worry I can buy whatever broke.
Pink: (speaks in her head) Wow, this is very odd, Wolf would NEVER ask me to help him. And BUY?! I thought he STEALS! (Speaks) Uhh... The- Thanks for helping me Wolf?
Wolf: (then takes her large bags) no problem. It’s the least I can do for a good friend.
(They reach Blue's house)
Wolf: Is Blue here to help you?
Blue: Oh hey Pink. (helps her with the bags)
Pink: Thanks Blue, I had help from Wolf.
Blue: (shocked) Wait what?
Wolf: Yeah I couldn't just let Pink carry these bags on her own.
Blue: (stunned) What the fuck? (wide-eyed) I must be dreaming. Am I dreaming? (Blue punches himself) No, I'm not dreaming...
(cuts to Bruce and his Gang Members waiting for Wolf to come.)
Bruce: I swear, when Wolf comes in here, I will teach him for what he did to me that day!
Gang Member: Wow, he still hasn't gotten over that...
(Wolf is walking by)
Bruce: YOU! (jumps out) I swear, you are going to PAY for when you slammed me with a sledge hammer!
Gang Member: Yup, Bruce is gonna die.
Wolf: What? I did that to you? Dude I am so sorry. I can pay you back for what happened.
Bruce: You hit me with a sledge hammer and called me vagina faced pig semen!
(The Gang Members snicker)
Wolf: In that case, I would like to repay you as an apology for what I have done to you.
Bruce: You retard! I'll- (stops) Wait... Did you just say you were sorry?
Wolf: (pulls out a card) Here take this. It's a month pass of free beer from the Drunken Bear Tavern. I hope this is enough to say I'm sorry.
Bruce: (stunned) Uhh, thanks?
Wolf: Your welcome. I wouldn't want there to be bad blood between us. Maybe we can be friends.
Bruce: Friends? Bad Blood? A FREE CARD?! (thinks in head) This guy was NEVER like this! He used to kill and say bad things!
Wolf: Are you alright Bruce?
Bruce: Uhh, yes I'm fine... Thank you.
(The Gang Members laugh)
Gang Member: Whoaaa...
Gang Member #2: Cool!
Bruce: Uhh, thanks Wolf.
Wolf: No problem. Oh and say hi too Fifi for me when you see her. She is a good person to be with and you are lucky to have her as a girlfriend.
(Wolf walks off)
Bruce: That was, awfully nice of him...WTF?
(Wolf sits on a bench in the park feeding birds and squirrels)
(Jade notices and looks confused)
Jade: Wolf? Is that really you?
Wolf: Why hello Jade. You are looking as lovely as ever.
Jade:(Confused) Uhhh thanks, are you okay? Cause you never refer to me as Jade.
Wolf: Well maybe I'm in a better mood than before. I hope the day has treated you well.
Jade: It has, thanks for asking. (Smirks)
Wolf: So how is Jones doing? Fine I hope.
Jade: He's the usual.
(Jones flies in)
Jones: What's up bitches!
Wolf: Hello Jones. We were just talking about you.
Jones: (To wolf) Oh Wolf, that's probably the first time you ever said my name, feeling good today or something?
Wolf: I'm feeling quite normal thanks for asking. how has life been treating you?
Jones: Same as always, making the newest tech shit, hopefully something to dominate the world.
Jade: So yeah, it's been the same for us.
Wolf: Yeah well I hope you don't get hurt in the process. Just be sure to treat people kind if you plan to take over the world.
Jones: (Confused) What the fuck!?
Jade: (To Wolf) Did you really just say that?
Wolf: (a bit confused at their reactions) uh, yeah I guess I did. I don't like violence really.
Jade: Okay, really is there something wrong with you? I mean you inspired me to become a killer.
Jones: (To Jade) That and the phrase 'work bitch' being played in your head.
Jade: Yeah, but seriously, this is bizarre.
Wolf: nothing is wrong with me. I am just a decent friendly guy who tries to do what is right.
Jade: (To Wolf) You do realize your named after something that kills people, right?
Wolf: I thought it was something that stood for nobility and Loyalty to friends.
Jones: Really? (Smirks)
Wolf: yeah, just like the Natives believed.
Jade: No, it means a beast with claws and sharp teeth, that hunts it's prey and makes a bloody mess out of everything.
Jones: This is so weird.
Wolf: That is no different than any other predator of weaker specie. Just like the lion is looked at as a beast to tear people to shreds but they are symbols of pride and courage.
Jade: Alright, well thanks for the history lesson.
Jones: Does your hot mama Fox know about this. (Smirks)
Wolf: I think she is. I'm really not sure. But I would hardly call her that. I like to show women respect and decency rather than eye candy.
Jones: Shit man, you would've ripped my head off just for calling her hot.
Jade: Where is she anyway?
Wolf: I think she is still at work at the Drunken Bear Tavern
Jade: Then why don't we go down there for a pint or something, you know, as friends.
Wolf: no thanks. I don't drink. it's against my morals.
Jones: Okay, this is like a fucking illusion or something, let's get out of her Jade.
Jade: (Sighs) Alright, but there has to be something behind all this Wolf. (Jones holds her and flies into the sky)
Wolf: Happy trails you two and be safe. God bless.
(Bitchess was walking down the street in an angry mood.)
Bitchess: I may have gotten my revenge, but this time I want to make it better!
(Wolf was at a newspaper stand)
Bitchess: (notices Wolf but instead of attacking him, she ignores him in case she doesn't get caught by him) I'm never going through that experience again, forget it.
Wolf: (Buys a paper and looks up to see Bitchess and waves) Hi Bitchess. how have you been doing on this glorious day?
Bitchess: Oh why would you ask that?! Your usually a big dick like you were the other month!
Wolf: Wow, it seems I have been mean to others a lot and cannot remember. I may not have an excuse for whatever I did, but all I can say is how sorry I am.
Bitchess: YOU DON'T REMEMBER?! It was ALL TRUE! One specific day you said some foul language at a Brown Man! And then you said some things to me! But they were worse than what a normal person would say! Then I got angry, and you beat me up and called me an infected scab of a vagina and threw a trash can at me, made me paralyzed and STEPPED ON MY FACE! STILL calling me rude things! (voice starts breaking) And when you did that! I was embarrassed for LIFE! Cuz it proves to everyone that I'M not the biggest bitch anymore! (tears start rolling down) Normally I wouldn’t give a shit! But that time, IT WAS PERSONAL! (Bitchess starts crying on the ground
Wolf: (crouches near her, but was unsure to touch her) I can't say anything that could take away what I have said or did to you, but know this when I say that I feel like giving up my life if it meant making you happy again. Although I don't agree that you should be called the biggest bitch. I know this may be caused by a childhood experience to turn you bitter. I don't blame you for that. You are just venting out what others did to you and i don't blame you for that either. If anything, I sympathize with your anger.
Bitchess: (sniffs and rubs her eyes) Why would you say that? You'd never say that to me.
Wolf: (hugs her) I'm saying it now and I am saying I am truly sorry for what I did and how I treated you. You should be treated better than what you accuse yourself of being. If you want to cry then feel free. I won't judge you and neither should anyone else.
Bitchess: (sniffs) Wow... Thanks...
Wolf: (wipes her tears away) Anything to make you smile.
Bitchess: I've never done it before but... (Bitchess, without feeling embarrassed, hugs Wolf) Thanks for helping me. I'm serious, thank you..
Wolf: Anytime. Now go enjoy the rest of the day princess.
Bitchess: Okay. (Bitchess gets up with a big smile on her face and walks away)
(Later Stacy was dancing around a pole outside a bar. Wolf was passing by reading the paper)
Stacy: Ooh! (jumps down from the pole) Sup Bob!
Wolf: (looks around confused) Wait who is Bob Stacy?
Stacy: (giggles) YOUR Bob silly! (drinks) The one who said I should stay outta Wolf's life.
Wolf: (still confused) I am Wolf. When did I say I was Bob?
Stacy: (concerned) Last month, you said I should stay out of Wolf's life, after Wolf said some mean things to me! (begins to back away from Wolf) And I'm gonna take that advice!
Wolf: I am confused on what is going on.
Stacy: (suddenly forgot what she said) Huh? What? Aah never mind! Forget it maaaan! (drinks)
Wolf: (still confused) I don't even know what is going on.
Red: (comes in) Sup Wolf? (pulls out some bottles of beer)
Wolf: Oh no thanks Red. I don't drink.
(Stacy spews out her drink in shock)
Stacy: Are you kidding?! You ALWAYS drink with Red!
Wolf: it goes against my good morals.
Red: YOUR WHAT!?!
Red: When to turn out to be such a goodie puss?
(Stacy hits her with a bottle of beer)
Stacy: I'M NOT DREAMING!
Wolf: That was weird and no you are not dreaming.
Stacy: (wide-eyed) Okaaaayyy....
Red: Does that mean you don't kill anymore?
Wolf: I don't believe in violence.
Red: not even after having sex?
(Stacy's and Red's jaws drop)
Red: What the fuck dude?! This isn't the Wolf I would know!
Stacy: Damn it! I was this close to having sex again.
Wolf: Okay this is getting awkward. I should leave now. see you later and God bless. (leaves)
Stacy and Red: WHAT... THE FUCK!?!
(Blink was skipping through the city on his own.)
Blink: (singing) Everybody is happy!
Wolf: (Sees Blink) I'm sure everyone is Blink.
Blink: (notices Wolf) HI MR. GREEN MAN! (runs to him)
Wolf: how have you been tough guy?
Blink: Good! Me and Ellen have been getting along VERY WELL!
Wolf: That is awesome. I hope things will also be very well for you two in the future as well.
Blink: (slightly shocked) Wow, you don't say that often..
Wolf: Everything happens one way or another.
Blink: But you usually say you wouldn't care.
Wolf: I may have been a little rude, but I am really good at heart.
Blink: (smiles) Thanks Mr. Green Man! That means a lot! (skips away singing)
Wolf: Cute kid. (leaves)
(Raccoon was in his Sushi Store making Sushi.)
Raccoon: Just a few more-a chops and I wirr be done with da order.
Wolf: (Comes in the store) Greetings Sensi Raccoon
Raccoon: Worf-san! You were rate for your rast Nature's Ninja crass!
Wolf: Was it the one to find inner peace Sensi?
Raccoon: (speaks in head) Dis is-a WEIRD! Worf-san never-a speaks rike dat!
Wolf: Well I think every student should treat their Sensi with the utmost respect.
Raccoon: Werr, don't-a miss out on next resson! Which is next Thursday by da way.
Wolf: (bows) As you wish Sensi Raccoon. I will make it an effort to arrive an hour earlier.
Raccoon: Very werr Worf-san. (bows also)
(cuts to Lord Tourettes eating some ice cream)
Lord Tourettes: This Ice Cream tastes so SHITTY! (licks it)
Wolf: Hello Lord Tourettes, May I join you? (Orders another ice cream for himself)
Lord Tourettes: Aah! Why Hello BUTT-FUCKER! Lovely SHIT today, isn't it?
Wolf: (understands what Lord Tourettes is trying to say) Yes it is buddy and it is a great day for ice cream too. (Starts licking his own ice cream)
Lord Tourettes: (excited) WOLF! I'm FUCKING glad to see your acting a lot less SHITTY today!
Wolf: apparently so is everyone else. but I have been successful to having them forgive me for stuff I think I may done to them.
Lord Tourettes: Oh like the black haired DICK and that pink BITCH you cut down?
Wolf: Yeah Bruce and Bitchess. I seem to have made peace with them though.
(Lord Tourettes notices Bitchess actually being nice to everyone)
Lord Tourettes: Y-Yes, I can see that...
Wolf: She's a good girl, she's just needs to be understood.
Lord Tourettes: Well you sure did the right FUCKING thing Wolf! Fox will be so proud!
Wolf: I'm sure she would. I just want everyone to be happy.
Lord Tourettes: SPLENDID! (hugs Wolf)
Wolf: (pats Lord Tourettes back) Calm down bud.
(Rapper was walking through town spinning his pistol around)
Man: Hey buddy are you-
(Rapper shoots him)
Girl: Hey, is he ok-
Rapper: (shoots her) Double Dead.
(Wolf was at a coffee shop)
Rapper: (walks in) Hey Cashier! Give me a coffee, (points the pistol at him) And make it free.
Cashier: Y-Yes of course! (quickly gets one)
Wolf: (Sees Rapper) Why do you have to be like that? the man is trying to run a business.
Rapper: You know I hate paying. And you never ask that ever. (drinks the coffee)
Wolf: I just think it's rude to prey off the weak.
Rapper: (spews out his coffee) WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
Wolf: It's not like everyone can have it easy or stoop low to gain a living. Some wish to be a success. I would like to give others that chance.
Rapper: (wide-eyed) Uhh, I'll pay for that coffee sir. (gives him a five dollar note)
Cashier: Thank You very much sir. (walks away)
Rapper: Why did you say that? You NEVER say that!
Wolf: I hear that a lot lately.
Rapper: You must be crazy.
Wolf: no I am quite sane to be like every other normal nice guy.
(Rapper slowly backs out of the shop. It now cuts to Holly picking out some flowers.)
Holly: Hmm, I think she likes blue ones too. (picks out some blue flowers)
Wolf: (behind her) Who are you picking flowers for?
Holly: Oh, my friend Jess who- (notices Wolf and narrows her eyes) What do YOU want?
Wolf: Just would wish to help out. Is it her birthday or something?
Holly: Why would you help me? You never try to help me at all.
Wolf: Let's just say that I'm trying something new than before. How about those flowers made by Sapphires?
Holly: Uhh, o-okay. (picks the flowers)
(Holly sees the high price of the flowers)
Holly: What?! $50?! But I don't have enough... (pulls out $30)
Wolf: I got it. (Pays the owner $100 for two sets) make the gift twice as good I always say.
Owner: Of course.
Holly: W-Wow... (blushes) Thanks Wolf.
Wolf: glad I could help.
Holly: (picks the flowers up) I wish there was a way I could return the favor one day.
Wolf: Friends carry no debts.
Holly: (smiles) You know, your not so bad after all. (hugs Wolf and walks away)
(Rare sees Wolf and approaches him)
Rare: Well, well, look what came to my viewing,
Wolf: Oh hello Rare. Nice to meet you.
Rare: What the? What's with you!? No comments, no jokes, no 'stupid bitch' or something?
Wolf: Why would I say that? I try to treat women like you with respect and decency.
Rare: That's bullshit! What about last week when you threw me in a dumpster and I nearly got crushed to death by the trash compactor!?
Wolf: (shocked) Really!? I did that!? I am so sorry if I did. is there anyway I could make it up to you?
Rare: Really!? (Laughs) You're going to actually make something up for me?
Wolf: I can treat you to dinner or get you a gift.
Rare: Please tell me your actually serious?
Wolf: I am serious. I feel absolutely horrible for what I did.
Rare: Well then, I'll go along with this. (Winks her left eye at Wolf) Where would you like to take me to dinner?
Wolf: As you wish Ms. Rare. (walks her to a expensive fancy restaurant and pulls out a seat for her to sit at a table)
Rare: Oh, well thanks. (Sits down)
Wolf: Order whatever you want. the dinner is on me.
Rare: (Shocked) Uhhhh.... okay. I will have a steak, well done.
Wolf: At once. (Pays up front to the waiter for first class service and they are quickly served with the royal treatment)
Rare: Why.... (Smiles) yes it is.
Wolf: What is your favorite song?
Rare: Anything with the perfect amount of romance and piano. (Thinks) did I really just say that?
Wolf: I think I got something. (Snaps to the pianist and he plays on the piano "Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman") How is that?
Rare: (Shocked) Uhhhhh... yeah, that's good. (Rare blushes a little and continues to slowly eat her steak)
Wolf: So how is your career going?
Rare: Fine, I've got a movie deal coming up, and I'm working on a new album as well, but pretty typical for me.
Wolf: you are a woman of many talents as to be expected.
Rare: Huh, never expected to hear that from you.
Wolf: There is always a first.
Rare: Yeah, but from you?
Wolf: Well I felt you deserved to be told that.
Rare: Um, thanks.
Wolf: Anytime Rare.
Rare: Alright, what's the deal here? Why are you so nice to me? You hate me!
Wolf: There is nothing going on. I am just being myself. Also why do I have to hate you? You are a decent, talented young girl with a bright future. no one should hate you for your success.
Rare: But you do, and many others as well.
Wolf: Maybe because they don't see you for who you really are. They just see what they want and wish they could be and grow bitter over you because of their envy.
Rare: Well, this is unusual, but thanks again for... tonight.
Wolf: it was my pleasure to see you truly happy.
Rare: (Sighs) Okay. (Gets up)
Wolf: may I walk you home?
Rare: Alright, that's fine.
(Wolf leaves a huge tip and starts to walk Rare home)
Rare: Does everyone else know about your whole "good hearted' attitude?
Wolf: I'm quite sure they do.
Rare: They must be as shocked as I am.
Wolf: They were. (chuckles) but it doesn't matter. What matters is the reward in making others happy.
Rare: (Confused) What? You're actually doing that?
Wolf: I helped Pink earlier today.
Rare: You actually helped someone?
Wolf: I couldn't just leave her like that.
Wolf: Of course
Rare: Well, I guess that's nice to hear. (Sees her mansion)Wolf: Well It looks like you are home safe and sound. I'm glad to have treated you to dinner.
(Wolf heads out on the road of the city limits on his way back home)
Wolf: I better be getting home. Fox may need some help at home.
Fifi: (Tackles Wolf) WOLFIE!!!
Wolf: Fifi? What are you doing here?
Fifi: I never know.
Wolf: (laughs) good one Fifi.
Fifi: you sound funny today.
Wolf: Actually I feel normal.
Fifi: you look like a fluffy bunny
Wolf: Wait a what?
Fifi: (hugs Wolf hard) I like fluffy wolfy
Wolf: Ugh too tight! Too tight!
Fifi: Are you going to hit me?
Wolf: uh why would I do that?
Fifi: because you wuv me and wuv hurts.
Wolf: I think you got that the wrong way. Besides. I wouldn’t hurt a nice girl like you.
Fifi: Will throw me? I always thought that was fun even when I played tag with the trucks.
Wolf: Why do people always think I am some kind of monster?
Fifi: You’re not a monster, you’re a wolfy.
Wolf: (face palms) you are like a little kid.
(Fifi screeches loud)
Wolf: What was that for?!
Fifi: I was singing the ice cream song.
Wolf: … What?
Fifi: Tuesdays always likes to dance in June.
Wolf: What are we talking about?
Fifi: I don’t know I forgot.
Fifi: I’m your best friend because you wuv me right Wolfy?
Wolf: Uh yeah. Why wouldn’t I?
Wolf: What was that for this time?
Fifi: (throws herself on Wolf and wraps her arms and legs around him) You finally said you wuv me!
Wolf: What? Wait whats going on? Why are you so happy and why are you hugging me like this in an awkward position?
Fifi: (Bounces while still clinging to Wolf) Wolfy wuvs me! Wolfy wuvs me!
Wolf: Oh God Fifi! That is not a very appropriate place to be bouncing on!
Fifi: It feels funny. I think the is a funny clown in me.
Wolf: (places Fifi down off him) Look Fifi, I don’t want you to get the wrong impression but you are Bruce’s girl and I don’t want to do anything to break that.
Fifi: Bruce is a girl?
Wolf: (sighs) Ugh, no he isn’t.
Fifi: Are you a girl?
Wolf: No I am not.
Fifi: Are you a taco?
Wolf: uh I don’t know.
Fifi: Are you my taco?
Wolf: I guess. What does that even mean?
(Fifi squeals real loud making Wolf close his ears)
Wolf: What was that about?
Fifi: (jumps on Wolf and starts kissing him full as Wolf is in total shock until she stops to hold tight to Wolf) WOLFY IS MY TACO!!!
Wolf: (confused and scared) What does that even mean!? What just happened!?
(Wolf tries to get away but Fifi keeps holding tight onto him)
Fifi: Now you can be my burrito!
Wolf: (still trying to escape her grip) Oh god I don’t even want to know what that means!
Fifi: We’re going to have lots of baby cookie Wolfy’s and Fifi’s!
Wolf: I knew I didn’t want to know what that means!
(Fifi continues to hug Wolf as he still tries to break free of her grip while kissing him)
Fifi: I’m going to wuv you forever and ever and ever and ever…
Wolf: Fifi this is madness.
Fifi: Madness? THIS IS COOKIES!!!
(Fifi tackles Wolf on the ground and starts making out with him as he struggles even harder to escape)
Wolf: Wait Fifi! We can’t do this yet.
Fifi: Why not?
Wolf: Uh… Bruce! You have to ask Bruce for permission. Ask him first and then we can continue.
Fifi: Okay! (runs off)
Wolf: (Sigh) Hopefully he says no.
(Wolf walks on home)
(Later Wolf comes home and Fox runs up hand hugs him tightly)
Fox: I am so proud of what I heard about you today Wolf. I knew you had a kind heart but I never knew it was like this. (kisses his cheek as Wolf blushes)
Wolf: Well (Clears throat) I was just acting out from my heart.
Fox: (hugs Wolf) If only I wasn't like a sister to you, you'd be my boyfriend.
Wolf: Well I am flattered by... (starts gagging)
Fox: (Worried) Wolf! What is happening?!
(Wolf keeps gagging until a heart and flesh comes out)
Fox: Wolf! What is that? Are you okay?
Wolf: Yeah, yeah. God Damn. Why does it feel like my soul just died if I even have one?
Fox: Wait what did you eat?
Wolf: I grew curious about what Cupid tasted like. I thought it would be like chicken.
Fox: you mean you were only nice because you ate Cupid?
Wolf: Wait you mean I was actually nice? How nice?
Fox: you made friends with Bitchess, Bruce, and Rare.
Wolf: (pukes a whole lot) I think i died inside.
Fox: Well looks like Wolf is back to normal.
Wolf: (taste the inside of his mouth) Why do taste a lot of stupidity in my mouth?
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