Ehhh… this is Nicki
|Written by||AndrewBrauer & Panda-warrior1995|
|Other episodes by the author|
Jade's Infernal Past Part Five
Queen of Twerking
Thomas decides to make Molly jealous by pretending to date Nicki.
(Opens with Nicki looking through a folder in the hospital)
Nicki: I have to watch over an intern? (sarcastically) Gee, That will be fun.
Thomas: (To Nicki) Excuse me, are you Nicki?
Nicki: Huh? Oh yeah that's me. Anything I can help you with?
Thomas: I'm Thomas, I applied for the internship here at the hospital.
Nicki: Oh, the intern.. Well, you came to the right place.
Thomas: So, am I like your assistant or something?
Nicki: I guess you can put it that way, interns mostly observe what goes on in a hospital and do small jobs to learn the process. I'm just your guide.
Thomas: Alright, what should I do for now?
Nicki: Um... Can you organize the bags of blood over there, there're labeled by type A, B, AB, and O. Don't mix them up.
Thomas: Okay, got it.
Nicki: If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?
Thomas: (While organizing the bags) I'm twenty one, I'm just finishing up my junior year of medical school.
Nicki: Oh okay, it's just that when I heard I had to take care of an intern I thought he'd be around 18 or 19. I'm glad I didn't get someone who just started collage.
Thomas: Well I'm just trying to get my medical degree and become a doctor.
Nicki: That's cool. I was going to try to be a doctor but I didn't really have time, so I just settled for nurse.
Thomas: (Finished organizing the bags) Busy life?
Nicki: You could say that.. I kinda have to take care of an insane nine year old who has an IQ of 270 and an annoying 15 year old who can walk on walls.... They're my sisters..
Thomas: Well, I have to deal with a drunk boss for a nightclub, a crack whore who has a craving for meat, some other people, and the love of my life with some stupid british model, oh sorry. (Sighs)
Nicki: Not a problem, I could go on for day about this annoying guy who I have to hang out with because he's friends with my friends.
Thomas: Well what does he do?
Nicki: He just really fucking loves to piss me off. Anything I say is either followed by a sarcastic insult, or just the sound of him laughing like a retard.
Thomas: Anyways, after work, you want to get a drink down by the local bar, I'm buying?
Nicki: I dunno, I have to get home to my sisters after work... Before the small one unleashes a death beam on the moon.... That... That wasn't a joke, she might do that. Anyway I'll take a rain check.
Thomas: (Sighs) Alright, that's fine, I was going to go by myself anyway.
Nicki: (whispering to herself) Sweet Jesus, I can't believe I'm going to do this. (To Thomas) I suppose I have time for a small drink.
(LATER THAT DAY)
(Thomas and Nicki are both shown drinking a beer and are slightly drunk at a bar)
Thomas: So this chick I know Molly, is into women just because she thinks all men are horrible.
(Shows Nicki a picture of Molly)
Nicki: Isn't everyone the same though? Everyone on earth is the same amount of shitty though some are shittier than others.. And then there are animals..
Thomas: What about animals?
Nicki: People are horrible, but animals are just chillin' because they're just cool like that.
Thomas: Aren't we technically animals?
Nicki: Yes but... We're just the bitches of the animal world.
Thomas: (Snickers) We are!
Nicki: Anyway about this chick, maybe you should just be protestant about it.. Or have a gender transplant. Whatever works for you.
Thomas: I got an idea.
Nicki: I am NOT giving you a gender transplant.
Thomas: Not that, you should be my fake girlfriend and I'll make Molly jealous, what do you say?
Nicki: Um... well this is probably the alcohol talking but... (sigh) I'll do it.
Thomas: Alright, here's proof that we are dating. (Kisses Nicki on the lips)
Nicki: (Pushes him off) Keep this professional, she's not even around!
(Molly and Veronica walk into the bar)
Thomas: (To Nicki) There she is, the green girl. (Points to Molly)
Nicki: Well, at least make sure I know next time.
Thomas: Okay I will... (To Molly) hey Molly!
(Molly and Veronica head to Thomas and Nicki's table)
Molly: Hey Tommy, who's this?
Nicki: My name's Nicki, nice to meet you.
Thomas: She;s my girlfriend.
Molly: (Surprised) Really, When?
Thomas: For a while now, see. (Kisses Nicki on the lips)
Nicki: (Slightly surprised but still going along with the act) Yep. Almost a month..
Veronica: Well it certainly is surprising, you two look so cute together.
Nicki: I sure hope so. (Thinking in her head) Why did I agree to this...
Molly: So, (She and Veronica sit down with them at the table) how did you two meet?
Thomas: Uhh... (Thinks for a second) she visited my university and we just clicked on our first day there.
Nicki: Yeah, sure.
Veronica: What did you two do?
Thomas: Well, for the whole day we just walked around the school and talked about each others lives, she discussed her sisters and how she's like a mother to them. Taking time out of her social life to make sure they had normal, perfect life.
Nicki: And I know that he wants to become a doctor..
Molly: He talks about that all the time, he's so focused on his goals, it's amazing.
Thomas: Well, it's my dream to do.
Nicki: Yeah, that's probably one of the best things about him.
Thomas: (To Nicki) It's like we're a married couple, you have kids to care for, while I'm the man to make everything work.
(Nicki smiles and Thomas kisses her on the lips)
Molly: Awww... that's so adorable.
Nicki: Yeah, sure, I guess. Except I would have had to been 8 when I had the first kid..
Thomas: Cause your just that busy.
Nicki: Yep.. Too bad, maybe if I wasn't, we could spend more time together.. (Thinking in her head) Fuck, I'm a bad actress....
Veronica: Maybe if we could watch your two little sisters then you two can spend much more time together.
Molly: That would be nice.
Nicki: Um are you sure.. My sisters are kinda.. different.
Veronica: So what? Are they like skilled or something?
Nicki: The small one is planning to throw Pluto off it's axis.
Molly: (Giggles) That sounds hilarious.
Nicki: Yeah, it's not a game. Look, you can babysit if you're sure, but just tell them no shooting things into space after bed time.
Veronica: Got it. (Winks)
Molly: Anyways, what will you two do since you don't have any trouble tonight.
Thomas: I don't know, maybe go out to the beach and watch the stars, drink some wine, and just talk.
(Molly and Veronica blush)
Nicki: Um sure. But don't say I didn't warn you about the girls.
Veronica: We better go, let's go Molly.
Molly: See you two lovebirds later.
(Molly and Veronica leave the bar)
Thomas: (To Nicki) Great job selling it.
Nicki: I guess, but I'm definitely not getting an Oscar for this.
Thomas: So, anybody your interested in right now, I can help you make that person jealous if you want.
Nicki: Not really. Personally, I'm not really looking for a relationship.
Thomas: I see, because your so busy?
Nicki: Well there's that and the fact that I just haven't met anyone.
Thomas: Alright. (Sighs) If you do need me to make someone jealous, or if you just wanna, you know, hang out, here's my number. (Gives Nicki his number)
Nicki: Sure, it beats doing nothing while your friends think that they're babysitting for an actual reason... I feel kinda guilty about that.
Thomas: What's the worse that can happen?
(Cuts to Molly and Veronica at Nicki's house with B and Cindy)
Cindy: (with a remote in her hand) SAY GOODBYE PLUTO!
Veronica: Cindy, give me that bloody remote. (Takes it out of her hand)
Molly: (To B) And you, stop eating all the cookies!
B: I don't think so! (takes the cookies and runs) THEY'RE MINE!
Molly: Oh great, now she'll never calm down.
Cindy: That wouldn't happen anyway. Can I just blow up Pluto and get to bed? It won't take long...
Veronica: No, you will go to bed right now, and if you think about blowing up Pluto, then I'll let Nicki know and you'll be in some serious trouble.
Cindy: Fine! But only because you probably messed up the directions when you grabbed the remote.
Veronica: You were about to blow up a bloody planet!
Cindy: PLUTO ISN'T A PLANET!
Veronica: It's still considered illegal, now go to bed!
Cindy: Fine! Gosh! (Walks to her room and mumbles) Why can I just blow the stupid rock up already...
Molly: (To Veronica) What about B?
B: (Off screen) I need more sugar!
Molly & Veronica: Shit!
B: (Jumps down from the ceiling) Where are the lollipops?
Molly: (To B) There are no lollipops, and you need to get some sleep.
B: I'll just run to the store and get some lollipops...
(Veronica grabs B's neck as Molly locks the front door)
Veronica: (To B) You're not going anywhere.
Veronica: That won't happen. (Brings B into her bedroom and locks the door)
(Molly appears at the window outside and nails it down)
Molly: What window? (Giggles)
B: I'll just get to bed... Unless you want to do more construction work.
Veronica: This windows and doors are locked now, sleep tight. (Smiles with Molly)
B: Okay, gosh.. Good night I guess.
Veronica: Thomas seriously owes us for this one.