Judgement Day
Air date 4-30-14
Written by AndrewBrauer & Alpha-Lonewolf
Directed by AndrewBrauer
Location Space
Other episodes by the author

Booty Call

Combined Agents

 Agents James Bauer and Cyan team up once again to save the world from a space satelite.



(Wolf wakes up to hearing an alarm)

Wolf: What the fuck? Can't I sleep in for one day?

(Wolf checks his laptop for the alarm and sees that it says that the Judgement Day Satellite has been taken over)

Wolf: Oh shit.

Fox: Wolf what was that sound? It's Saturday for god's sake.

Wolf: Do you still know that one agent that Pink and Blue met?

Fox: Yeah why?

Wolf: Call him.

(Later at USAS. James Bauer rushes to Toatle Pones)

James: You called me sir?

Toatle: We have just gotten word that a group of terrorist took control of a weaponized satellite called Judgement Day

James: Why haven't we heard about this weapon before?

Toatle: It has a high tech cloak and was made in secret by an anonymous person. here are it's details.

(James reads the details as the scene changes to Agent Cyan at the BSA)

Agent Cyan: So this Judgement Day weapon could destroy the world.

(Agent Cyan gets a video message from Toatle Pones)

Agent Cyan: (On her phone) Pones, you requested me?

Pones: I have sent your command a mission for you to join with Agent Bauer to retake a weaponized satellite.

Agent Cyan: That ought to be lovely working with Bauer again.

Pones: (raised voice) This isn't a time for love making. This is a serious matter so act like it! Am I understood?

Agent Cyan: (Silent for a second) Crystal.

(Cuts to Agent Cyan with James Bauer)

James: Fancy meeting you here. I guess we'll be seeing each other only on important missions from now on.

Agent Cyan: Since our bosses think our relationship will get in the way of what's important or something like that. (Puts ammo in her pistol)

James: Yeah sorry about my boss. He can get on edge over big missions. (Start putting on a high tech armored space suit)

Agent Cyan: Well the world is at stake and he expects us to save it. (Puts on her high tech armored space suit)

James: well look on the bright side. We'll be able to focus more on the mission since these suits are a big cock blocker. (activates tech suit)

Agent Cyan: Clever, since mine will block any action from happening if you know what I mean? (Activates tech suit)

Pilot: We are clear from the earths atmosphere. prepare to have the airlock open. (doors open to the outside) We are about three miles away from the satellite. You have to leap from this ship to the target. Watch out for space mines.

James: lovely.

Agent Cyan: (Slightly Nervous) How did this guy get a space satellite up here?

James: Who knows. All the records say is that it was made in secret. (Crouches facing the opened door) Ready for a walk among the stars?

Agent Cyan: (Sighs) I guess I have no choice. (Prepares to leave into space)

Pilot: Go!

(They both leap out and fly through space avoiding mines along the way until they reach the airlock to the satellite)

Agent Cyan: (While dodging a mine) We're almost there.

James: (Lands on the airlock door of the satellite) Well that was a little easy.

Agent Cyan: (Lands on the airlock door) Were you expecting more?

(suddenly laser shots were fired at them from oncoming jet pack space ninjas)

James: Space ninjas? really?

(The lasers hit near them and send them floating away from the airlock door)

Agent Cyan: (Floating) Damn, those space ninjas!

James: Now lets see how Boba Fett feels about this. (uses jet pack to fly in and shoots laser shots and mini missile at each space ninja from his arms)

Agent Cyan: Technology these days. (Activates her jet pack and shoots at the laser shots)

(Space ninjas pull out laser swords)

James: Typical ninjas.

Agent Cyan: Let's just fight fire with fire. (Pulls out a laser sword from her suit)

(James shoots out a boomerang and misses the space ninjas)

Agent Cyan: Oh no! (Dodges the boomerang heading towards her)

James: I meant it to miss that time.

Agent Cyan: Why?

(The Boomerang turns into a laser boomerang and comes back to start slicing the space ninjas)

Agent Cyan: I see.

(They fly back and open the aircraft door)

James: I hope this code works. (Enters it in and the door opens) Well i guess it did.

Agent Cyan: Let's head inside. (Floats inside)

(Scene cuts to the bridge deck of the Satellite)

Dark figure: (Watches Cyan and James enter from the camera) What? who are these two?

Ninja: They appear to be agents sir.

Dark figure: Eliminate them. nothing will stop me from having revenge on Wolf.

Agent Cyan: (Hears Ninjas coming) James, we got company.

(Cyborg ninjas surround them)

James: Let me guess this is the satellites security system.

Agent Cyan: Either that, or this is a great place for cyborg ninjas to hang out at.

Cyborg Ninja: Destroy the intruders!

James: Let's hope they are made in china.

Agent Cyan: Let's find out. (Pulls out her laser sword and begins to fight the cyborg ninjas)

James: (shoots out a small EMP grenade and shuts them all down) Yep made in China.

Agent Cyan: (Slices some cyber ninja's in half) Cause they're too easy.

(In the bridge deck)

Dark figure: Damn it send the butlers!

(later Butlers come in with machine guns)

Agent Cyan: (Slices the last cyber ninja) We got more enemies coming!

Butler: How many lumps to you want in this cup of tea! (they all start shooting)

(James and Cyan take cover)

Agent Cyan: (Pulls out a laser gun) Let's shoot these butlers! (Shoots at the butlers with her laser gun)

James: We have a deadline. (Blasts a hole through a wall) and I'm not about to let it end here. (jumps through the hole to another corridor)

Agent Cyan: Wait for me. (Follows James into the hole)

James: We need to head to the command deck and find the computer to destroy this place.

Agent Cyan: Let's look around and find the command deck.

Ninja: Sir they are heading this way!

Dark figure: They will be too late. soon I will destroy the world and Wolf in it.

Butler: What about the kids?

Dark figure: I'll find more kids!

Agent Cyan: (While looking around) James, do you see the command deck?

(They find an elevator)

James: Up here.

Agent Cyan: Great, let's get in.

(They start to go up but then hear something below)

James: Do you hear that?

Agent Cyan: Yes, it sounds strange.

(James lifts up the emergency hatch to the floor and sees cyborg ninja's climbing up below)

Agent Cyan: What is it? (A cyborg Ninja grabs her)

James: (shoots a shock dart from his watch into the ninja's face) Shocking wouldn't you say?

Agent Cyan: Not really? (Snaps the cyborg ninja's neck)

James: Quick get on top of the elevator.

(James jumps up through the top elevator emergency exit hatch)

Agent Cyan: (James helps her up) What now?

James: (Grabs Cyan) Hold on for the ride. (Shoots off the cables and has them zip up with the cables and the elevator falls on the ninja cyborgs)

Agent Cyan: (While holding onto James) The deck must be on top!

James: I thought it was better to take the express way up.

(Both reach the top of the command deck and find ninjas, butlers, and a large dark cloaked figure getting ready to launch the missiles)

Agent Cyan: You got to be kidding me.

James: Any ideas?

Agent Cyan: Look, maybe see something important that can help us.

Dark Figure: (heads to a computer console) Is it ready?

Ninja: Just about. The button on that console will light up when it is.

Dark figure: Excellent.

James: Well at least we know where the launch button is.

Agent Cyan: But we still have to deal with the fact that we're outnumbered.

James: All we need is to stop the launch, self destruct the satellite, and escape in a pod

Agent Cyan: What should we do? Sneak our way around or go in guns blazing?

James: I'll disable the launch. you stay here and search for the destruct button.

Agent Cyan: Sounds like a plan. (Starts to search around quietly for the button)

Ninja: It's ready sir.

Dark Figure: Good, time for revenge.

(A small beeping dart hits the computer)

Dark Figure: What the...

(The computer explodes and ruins the launch)

Agent Cyan: (Notices) Is it over?

(The dark figure notices Agent Cyan)

Dark Figure: Get that agent!

James: (from behind him) Not so fast.

Dark figure: Half of you get her. the rest get him.

James: One more move and I press this button to self destruct this whole place!

Dark Figure: Ha! That is not the button.

Agent Cyan: (Pulls out electric sword) What do we do James?

James: Don't worry just listen.

Dark Figure: You can't hope to stop me. I'm immortal.

James: Who do you think you are and why are you after Wolf?

Dark Figure: if you must know, it started long ago in a game.

James: What?

(The Dark Figure takes off his cloak and reveals to be Pedo Bear)

James: What the hell?!

Agent Cyan: (Meets up with James) Can he be killed?

Pedo Bear: I am a god of pedos and can not be stopped.

James: Not if i push this button to self destruct the place?

Pedo Bear: For the last time that is not the button (points to the real button) That one is... oops

Agent Cyan: I'm on it. (Runs to push the button)

Pedo Bear: NO!

Ninja: Shoot her!

(Agent Cyan continues to run up to the real button as cyborg ninjas begin to shoot at her, James runs in the group of ninjas and knocks out one of them to take his gun and shoot the ones around him)

James: I got you covered!

(Agent Cyan is about to push the button but then gets pushed out of the way by the pedo bear)

Agent Cyan: (Gets up) I see your not going down without a fight.

Pedo Bear: You may not be a child but I am going to rape you to death for this!

Agent Cyan: Then this isn't your lucky day. (Runs up to the Pedo Bear and punches him in the face many times)

Pedo bear: You can't harm me like that. (Grabs Cyan and holds her against the ground)

Agent Cyan: (Struggling) What are you going to do? Raping me won't do shit.

(The Pedo bear than pick her up in the air)

Pedo Bear: I'm going to rape you with a huge pedo bear cock until you split in half!

Agent Cyan: Never! (Bites his hand and she manages to be set free and runs away from Pedo Bear)

Pedo Bear: (stands by the button) don't you still need to push this button? You're going to have to go through me first!

Agent Cyan: Damn, I'm too weak, James you have any ideas?

James: One. (jumps on Pedo Bear's back and holds tasers to his eyes) Hurry press the button!

(Agent Cyan runs and pushes the button, alarms go off and the count down begins. Ninjas and butlers start running)

Pedo Bear: NO!!!

Agent Cyan: Let's get out of here!

James: Go on ahead! I'll keep him busy enough for us to escape!

Agent Cyan: Alright, just hurry up! (Opens the escape pod door)

James: Get inside and get ready to shut the door when I run in!

Agent Cyan: Are you sure?

James: I don't want to give him the chance to follow us.

(Agent Cyan gets prepared to launch as James jumps off of Pedo Bear and runs to the pod, but as the satellite is ready to self destruct a metal plate falls from the ceiling and blocks the door to the pod)

James: Oh shit.

Agent Cyan: James, there's a small opening, grab my hand. (Reaches out for James)

James: It's too small, just go. I'll find another way out.

Agent Cyan: No, I'm not leaving you. I can stop the pod and I can help.

James: There's not enough time. this place is about to blow. I'll be right behind you in a second. now go.

Agent Cyan: (Sighs) You better hope. (Close the door and the pod launches out of the satellite)

(Later as she watches herself fly further away from the satellite at a safe distance, it explodes)

Agent Cyan: (Sheds a tear) I hope he's okay. (Sits down and looks down)

James: (On her radio) Of course I am.

Agent Cyan: (Hears him) James, it that you!?

James: Sure is. look out the left window of your pod.

(Cyan sees an escape pod flying right next to hers with James Bauer in it)

James: There happened to be an empty escape pod right next to yours, so I took it.

Agent Cyan: (Smirks) Too bad we're not in the same one.

James: (laughs) I think our commands would like it better this way.

Agent Cyan: Of course. (Laughs)

James: Well I better take my pod back to USAS to report the mission's success. you better head back to yours as well.

Agent Cyan: Sounds like a plan, another successful mission to save the world, all done by us.

James: Until the next mission, parting is such sweet sorrow. (Flies off back to his base)

Agent Cyan: I know. (Flies off back to her base)

The End

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