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LEZ II: The Overbearing
Season 3, Episode 4
28. LEZ II The Overbearing (3)
Air date 6/24/14
Written by IONIXMUSIC
Directed by IONIXMUSIC
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Derek cheers up Red with a little sorority house fun.

Characters

Transcript

(Derek and Red are drinking at a bar.)

Derek: God...I can't believe we've been at this for a year.

Red: Yeah, I'm pretty tired of it.

Derek: What do you mean?

Red: Well, making constant episodes one after the other in a crazy schedule just to get...maybe one comment? Is it worth it?

(Derek looks at Red in silence.)

Derek: Yeah...I guess. But hey, at least we're having fun!

Red: Sure.

Derek: Here, I know somethin' that will cheer you up.

Red: And what is that?

(Cut to Derek and Red in a Lamborghini, driving towards the LEZ sorority house.)

Red: AW YEAH! This place is sick as hell, the bitches are awesome!

Derek: I know right!

(They crash the Lamborghini into the house.)

Derek and Red: 'Sup, ladies.

Lesbian 1: Oh my god! I remember you, Red boy!

Red: Of course of do.

Lesbian 2: We should give these guys a lap dance!

All lesbians: YEAH!

(Suddenly, all the lights go out, and a ghostly figure rises from the shadows.)

Ghost Broseph: Did you miss me?

Lesbian 3: Wait a minute, aren't you that Broseph douche that sabotaged our party a year ago?

Ghost Broseph: Uhh...

Lesbian 5: Yeah, he was!

Lesbian 2: Let's get 'em!

(They all pounce onto Ghost Broseph, but being a ghost, they have no affect.)

Ghost Broseph: You guys know that I'm a spirit, right?

Red: I know how to take care of you, Broseph!

Ghost Broseph: Hey Red! I thought we were buds! You know, homies!

Red: Bitch, you ain't nothin!

(He grabs a bottle of sage from his pocket, and chucks it at Broseph.)

Ghost Broseph: AGGGH! IT BURNS! HELP ME!

Red: Have Satan help you when you arrive, bitch.

(Broseph begins to descend into the Earth's core, and lands in Filler Hell.)

Broseph: Wait, filler hell?

Satan: Yep. Only the most useless characters in all of the Dick Sticks canon come here.

Broseph: But I'm a main character in the show this show is paroding!

(Satan looks towards ionixmusic, who is sitting at a broken down computer, writing fics.)

Satan: Is that true, O Great One?

ionixmusic: Nope.

Satan: Alright.

Broseph: WHAT?!

ionixmusic: Sorry, man. Can't mess with the canon.

(ionixmusic pulls a lever, and sends Broseph to a fiery demise.)

Broseph: FUCK YOU, MUSIC!

ionixmusic: Thanks!

(ionix pulls out a walkie talkie from his desk.)

ionixmusic: Derek, meet me in my office, please.

(Derek falls down into hell, then walks over to ionix.)

Derek: Yes, sir?

ionixmusic: Which Season 3 episodes do you plan to appear in?

Derek: Well sir, I'm thinking The Everyman, Darker and Edgier (and Sluttier), and Stultus Cadet.

(ionix enters the episodes into his schedule planner.)

ionixmusic: Alright. I'll send 'ya back up.

(He pulls a lever which brings down a tube. Derek is sucked into the tube and is sent back to the sorority house.)

Derek: Sorry, had to do something.

Red: It's all cool.

Lesbian 2: You can do me anyday.

Derek: Sure, sweetcheeks.

(Derek, Red and all the Lesbians start having a party, as the scene pans back to reveal a picture book with the party, and ionix sitting a leather chair with a pipe in his mouth.)

ionixmusic: Haha! What a wonderful story, don't you think? You know, it's weird to think that I've been reading stories to you for a year now. Although with some schedule screw-ups. It's all apart of being human, I guess. Well, I hope you enjoyed this first year of Dick Sticks storytime fun! Make sure to leave room in your calendar for the next year!

(He takes a smoke of his pipe.)

ionixmusic: Well, what are you waiting for? Run along, now, and have fun!

(He takes another smoke of the pipe but gags.)

ionixmusic: God, this shit is fucking disgusting!

(He smashes the camera, toppling it over onto the ground, as the scene ends with static.)

END OF YEAR ONE.

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The poll was created at 23:34 on July 29, 2014, and so far 12 people voted.

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