|Air date||December 12, 2013|
|Other episodes by the author|
Perfect Hot Chocolate
Wednesday's Day Alone
Stacy decides to take some of the girls out for some Halloween pranking. Let's see how this will turn out for Pink.
Pink: Okay… (looks in her purse) Looks like I’ve got everything ready. (looks at her face through the mirror) Should I put on makeup though?
Stacy: What up, Pinkie!
Pink: Oh…hey Stacy. (examines her costume) (sarcastically) Oh my God. What a surprise. You’re a nurse.
Stacy: A sexy nurse, FYI!
Stacy: (grabs Pink’s arm) Come on bitch! It’s ladies’ night!
Pink: What?! (yanks her arm out of Stacy’s grip) No! It’s Halloween!
Stacy: So? You’re a chick aren’t ya? (looks at Pink’s skirt where her crotch would be) (seductive voice) Unless there’s somethin’ you’re not tellin’ me… (about to reach into Pink’s skirt)
Pink: (slaps Stacy’s arm away) Ew! No! I never agreed to come with you tonight, Stacy. And I already have plans! I’m supposed to be meeting Blue at the gym where they’re holding a costume contest for couples.
Stacy: Ugh! Girls always wanna be with boys on Halloween. (kneels on the ground crying) Why did you have to die, V-day?! (sobs)
Pink: Valentine’s Day still exists.
Stacy: (immediately stops crying and grabs Pink’s arm again) Then save that shit ‘til then!
(Stacy drags Pink out of her apartment.)
Pink: Wait! But, what about Blue?
Stacy: Meh, he’s a dude. He can take care of himself.
(When the two get outside, a bunch of other girls are there.)
Pink: (sighs) Hey guys.
Indigo: (waves cheerfully) Hi Pink.
Pink: So, who are you guys supposed to be?
Indigo: I’m Shi… (looks puzzled) Shi…hold on. (reaches into her front pocket) I have a name tag. (takes out a piece of paper and reads it slowly) Shimofuri-tan. (grins cheerfully as a “ding” sound is heard)
Pink: Oh. They’re really nice. (turns to Charlotte while glaring) And who are you dressed as?
Charlotte: (dressed as Brittnay Matthews) Why should I tell you, semen breath?
Stacy: Welp, the gang’s all here.
Pink: (whispers) You invited Charlotte too?!
Pink: The girl with the blue bow?
(Stacy is silent)
Pink: The one who wants to kill me?
(Stacy is still silent.)
Pink: Blue’s ex-girlfriend?
Stacy: Pfft! Nah bitch. I’m his ex.
Stacy: (slaps her mouth shut) Hold up! Wendy, (points to something Wednesday is holding) what is that?
(Wednesday is carrying a paper bag.)
Wednesday: Umm, it’s, a bag.
Stacy: Whazzat shit for?
Wednesday: Umm, t-trick-or-treating?
(The others stare at her for a few seconds. Then they all start to laugh.)
Wednesday: What? W-Was it something I said?
Stacy: (trying to stop laughing) Y-You-you think w-we’re doing that kiddy s-stuff?! (falls to the ground laughing)
Pink: S-S-Seriously, Wednesday. (laughs) Y-You’re twenty-six, and you want to go trick-or-treating?!
Wednesday: Well, doesn’t everyone trick-or-treat on Halloween?
Charlotte: Pfft! Yeah! Every KID, dumbass! (laughs out loud, but suddenly starts coughing)
Wednesday: O-… (looks down shamefully) Oh… W-Well, m-my mom never taught me— (is interrupted by the girls laughing)
(Time lapse. The girls are walking down the street.)
Pink: (sighs) Alright. I need to ask. What the hell are we doing?
Stacy: We’re gonna prank some bitches! If boys can do it, so can we.
Indigo: Pranking? (hesitates) …I don’t know about that.
Stacy: Aww come on! It’s easy! Just watch.
(Stacy goes over to a dark alley and whistles to a man dressed as a doctor.)
Stacy: Hey doc, (pushes her breasts up) wanna check my heart rate?
(The man is immediately turned on and goes up to her. As he rushes over to her, Stacy picks up a hanging piece of rope off the ground and yanks it. The man was only a yard away from her when a bunch of rotten eggs dropped on him.)
Man: (as Stacy walks away) What the?!
Stacy: (to the girls) See that shit? Easy as pie… LOL. I could go for some pie right now. Can we get some pie?
Charlotte: All the restaurants opened up their own booths at the gym, so they’re closed for tonight.
Madelene: Even Putain Délicieux.
Pink: Well, we could always just go to the gym. After all, (glares at Stacy) I was originally planning on going there anyway.
Stacy: Why do you guys wanna go to the gym so badly? That’s where the douchebags go to make themselves smell like sweat.
Indigo: Well, almost everyone’s going to be there. Plus, Auburn told me the other day that someone brought an air freshener while they were setting up the party.
Stacy: (groans in frustration) Fine! We’ll go! There better be some boys in sexy costumes though.
(Time lapse. They enter the gym and see almost everyone there.)
Stacy: (runs off) THE PARTY DON’T START ‘TILL I WALK IN!
Pink: (sighs) I thought I’d never get here. (Charlotte listens to her from behind) Well, better go find Blue. (walks off)
Indigo: I’m gonna go see if any of my other friends are here. See ya. (walks off)
Madelene: (to Charlotte) So what do you say? Go find mom and Scarlet to see how business is going?
Charlotte: Actually, I think I’ll catch you later. (walks to where Pink went)
(Madelene sighs and walks away as Wednesday just sits down near the entrance.)
(Blue (dressed as Mario) sees Pink walking up to him.)
Blue: There you are, Pink. Where have you been? The contest starts in a few minutes!
Pink: Sorry Blue. Stacy almost dragged me away from this place.
Blue: (not surprised) Oh. That explains it.
(Red (dressed as a vampire) is seen flirting with girls.)
Red: So, you wanna show me your necks so I can suck your blood?
Stacy: (comes up from behind) I’m not Dracula’s GF, but I know what I wanna suck.
Red: Stacy? I thought you were gonna do shit around town.
Stacy: Yeah, but the bitches just wanted to come here. Speaking of, something high-larious happened while we were out.
Red: (gasps) TELLME TELLME TELLME TELLME TELLME!
(Stacy whispers into Red’s ear.)
Red: (bursts out laughing) That stupid, boob-less, goth whore thought you were gonna trick-or-treat?! (laughs) What a dumbass! (to the girls he was flirting with) Hey ladies! Stacy’s got something to tell you.
(Stacy whispers to the girls.)
Girl #1: How can a day of the week trick-or-treat?
Girl #2: Was it dressed as a camel? No, wait, today’s Friday, right?
(Cuts to Madelene walking over to Putain Délicieux’s stand. Behind the counter of the stand, Scarlet is eating roasted ham.)
Madelene: (in French) Hello mommy. How’s business going here?
Madelene’s Mom: (also in French) (looking extremely bored) Horrible! These sad maggots would rather have carnival food than fabulous cakes.
Madelene: Well, it is Halloween. I don’t think the kids will be able to carry their cakes in their trick-or-treating bags… Speaking of trick-or-treating, guess what Wednesday thought we were doing tonight? (giggles)
Madelene’s Mom: You might have to hold that thought. Putain Laid Visage is coming towards you.
Trollz0r: (dressed as French Stewart) Hey baby. Wanna ditch this place and go to Le Derp?
(Madelene, slightly scared, gives him a “talk to the hand” gesture while backing away.)
Trollz0r: (Okay face) (to Madelene’s mom) I’ll have two gallons of strawberry ice cream please.
(Madelene’s Mom goes under the counter and, with a lot of strength, places a huge fish tank full of ice cream onto the counter.)
Madelene’s Mom: (in English) (smirking) Enjoy the rest of your life alone.
(In the background, Scarlet is reaching for a cake, but Madelene’s Mom’s eyes widen.)
Madelene’s Mom: (stern) Eat your ham!
(Scarlet pulls her hand away from the cake.)
Madelene’s Mom: (to her daughter) So what did “Hump Day” thought you were doing?
(Cuts to Indigo walking up to Auburn (who isn’t dressed)
Indigo: Hey Auburn.
Auburn: Oh hey.
Indigo: You’re not in costume?
Auburn: I wanted to be a gangster, but all they had were the rapper kind of costumes.
Indigo: (groans) That’s too bad. I bet you would look cool as someone from a mafia. Speaking of mafias, I hear that there’s one in New York, but no one’s ever found out any names of the members, nor do they know where they usually hang out or have their meetings.
Auburn: Well, mafias are supposed to be secret organizations. Of course no one knows any of its members or their whereabouts.
Indigo: Oh! (giggles) You won’t believe what happened when we were about to go about!
Indigo: (as she and Auburn walk off) (voice fades as she goes off-screen) Well you see, Wednesday had this paper bag with her and…
(Cuts to an announcer going on stage.)
Announcer: Your attention please. The Couple’s Costume Contest is about to start in one minute.
Blue: Well, we better get going.
Pink: Sure. (they both walk off)
(Time lapse. The contest is almost over.)
Announcer: Well ladies and gentlemen…boys and girls…cats and dogs…young and old, left and right, up and down, here and there, to and fro, out and around, round and about, back and forth, in and out, over and under, hippity hoppity, round the corner, over the river and through the woods, hickity split, up to no good, good and plenty, making the rounds, painting the town re—
Everyone: Alright already!
Announcer: Uhh, (clears her throat) yeah, so, uhh, let us announce the runner ups for the contest before announcing the first place winner.
(Everyone claps as the Announcer takes out a bunch of cards that has the people’s votes.)
Announcer: Our 4th place winner goes to...Justin and Beth.
(Justin and Beth go up and get their trophies.)
Announcer: Our next award goes to Fat Ugly Girl, whose partner ditched her for some French girl, but that boulder costume is just so fucking hilarious.
(Over at the snack table, a trophy is thrown at the Fat Ugly Girl. After hitting her head, the trophy lands in her trick-or-treating bag.)
Wednesday: (sitting near her) So, how often do you get laughed at?
Fat Ugly Girl: Not too often… (walks away)
Announcer: And for the final runner up, Red and his group of ladies.
Red: (as the girls (and Stacy) lean against him while giggling) Yeaaaahhh— Wait. What’s a runner up?
Pink: (to Blue) I thought Red said this contest was stupid.
Blue: He lied, but it doesn’t matter anyway. It’s only 2nd place.
Announcer: And for the moment you’ve all been waiting, other than the end of the world, some movie, the last day of school, the death date of some douchebag, the—
Everyone: Open the goddamn card already!
Announcer: Alright! Alright! Geez… (opens the card) …Wait a minute…th-this can’t be right.
Blue: What is it?
Announcer: The 1st place winner of the contest is…a write-in!
Stacy: Oh my God! Does that mean one of them is dressed as a horse?
Auburn: No. It means the winner didn’t sign up for this at all!
Announcer: The winner of the Couple’s Costume Contest is…Charlotte Hagistaine and…a guy dressed as “The Biebs”?
Blue & Pink: WHAT?!
(Cuts to Maroon at another snack table.)
Maroon: Haha! I wonder which sucker got voted in this shitty contest.
Female Voice: (off-screen) You, dumbass.
Maroon: Wha--?! (is suddenly pulled on stage)
Announcer: Congratulations Miss Hagistaine and Mr…uhh…
Announcer: …That’s a stupid last name. (gives Maroon & Charlotte their trophies and walks off)
Blue: (gets on stage with Pink) (slightly angry) Charlotte! Was that vote for you and Maroon yours?!
Charlotte: Yeah. I knew you’d be pissed, (grins) especially you Pink.
Pink: (glares) Why?
Charlotte: Well, I’m not even a fan of The Biebs, and yet I know you’d rather be paired with a guy dressed as him rather than Mario.
- Maroon's last name is revealed.
- Auburn & Indigo talking about a mafia is a foreshadow to an episode for CookieEyes' Season 3.