Fandom

Dick Figures Fanon Wiki

Life at Wolf's

1,227pages on
this wiki
Add New Page
Comments0 Share
Life at Wolf's
Request 11
Air date 24/8/2013
Written by YoshiRocker13 & Alpha-Lonewolf
Location Wolf's Home
Other episodes by the author

Epic Game

Fucked in the Past

 Ever since Blue proposed to Pink, Red has been living at Wolf's cottage as they are now roomates. Let's see what life turns out for them.

Characters

Transcript

(Red sleeps in his own bed in Wolf's Home)

Wolf: (shoots off a machine gun in Red's room) Rise and shine Slumber dick! Day One in living at my place!

Red: Dude! I was having a dream about Fox's boobs!

Wolf: You'll see plenty of that later, but now we have to go work.

Red: Work!? For what!? 

Wolf: (throws Red an Assault Rifle) We need to kill ourselves some breakfast. I prefer the defenseless cute creatures.

Red: Sweet! Hunting for animals!

30 minutes later

Wolf: Whew! 30 helpless rabbits. that was delicious.

Red: So. Wanna grab a beer at Drunken Bear Tavern?

Wolf: (burps out blood) Don't worry that was the rabbit blood. but yeah lets go

(at the Drunken Bear)

Red: Yo Lad! Gimme a man sized beer!

Lad: (Drops a mug the size of a man on the counter) Hope you can hold it wee laddie.

Fox: Don't give me too much of a mess to clean up.

Wolf: When have i not?

Fox: I'm not even going to answer that.

Wolf: You know what this calls for Red?

Red: (finishes the drink and lets out a large belch) What?

Wolf: (Huge words appear on screen) EPIC DRUNK PARTY MONTAGE!!!

Red: PARTY DOWN!!!

(Begins to show Red and Wolf drinking, dancing, getting lots of lap dances, more drinking, playing beer games, more drinking, puking in the toilet, more drinking, more lap dances, etc.)

Wolf: (drunk) hey hey hey hey hey hey Red.

Red: (drunk) I done nothin'

Wolf: The world is made of beer and it farted. (laughs drunk)

Red: Wolf. Let's grow old together in every way! Except the gay way.

Wolf: I'll never grow old cuz i'm from Neverland bitches!

Fox: I think you two had enough.

Red: (to Fox) Hey bitch. Want some on the house?

Fox: (pissed) Excuse me!?

Wolf: Kiss and make up Red.

Red: On it! (kisses Fox)

Fox: YOU SON OF A... (Falcon punches Red)

Red: (laughs) Worth it bro.

Wolf: Game over bitches!

Red: That was awesome!

Wolf: let's go home now.

(later outside Wolf stumbles to a cop car)

Wolf: (still drunk) here's our car Red 

Red: (still drunk pushes Chad Cop out) Let's ride biatches!

Chad Cop: Hey Freeze!

Wolf: Fuck you! (drives off in the car)

Chad Cop: (radio) All units we got a stolen cop car!

Cop: (radio) Roger that. we're preparing mission. Over.

Red: (drunk) Ha! Wolf! We got bozos on our tail!

Wolf: lets give them something to pull over.

(The car runs into people and bumps them over the car and onto the cop cars behind)

Chad Cop: incoming pedestrians! Move out of their way! (on radio) Pull over!

(cop cars try to steer out of the way of the incoming people. one car crashes into a pet store and sets it on fire with flaming animals running out) )

Wolf: Woo! double points!

(helicopters fly over the car)

(Red drunkenly shoots his rifle at the cops, they fall on the ground where the car runs them over)

Wolf: Hey Red. I got an idea! 

Red: Spit it out biatch!

Pilot: I got them on camera right now so you can see them on... wait are they waving at us?

Wolf: Hey everyone look at us! We're famous! (waves at the camera)

Red: (waves at camera) Suck my dick! (jumps on the top of his car and starts dancing)

Pilot: Augh! Gross!

Wolf: Try to stop our Dance Revolution coppers!

Chad Cop: PULL OVER TO THE CURB!!!

Wolf: Not unless there are prostitutes!

Chad Cop: NO!! PULL OVER!!!

Red: (lies) I can't hear you!

Chad Cop: AUGH!!!!

Wolf: Red! release the smoke screen!

Red: On it!

(Red starts farting a thick cloud of gas)

Cop: I can't see!

Chad Cop: I can't breathe

(Car crash into each other and explode in the fart cloud)

(Cops surround the car)

Chad Cop: (Crawls out bloodied and bruised) We... got you surrounded! Give up... now!

Wolf: Red we need more gas!

Red: (tries to fart) Aah It won't work!

Chad Cop: Hah! Surrender now! (all cops pull out guns and aim them at Red & Wolf)

Wolf: Here eat this! (pulls out a monster burrito)

Red: (eats burrito) Oh shit! (lets out a massive fart explosion) (all cops appear bruised)

(Wolf holds onto Red and lights his fart on Fire making Red into a rocket)

Wolf: Later doughnut assholes!

Red: (charges past cops) WHOA SHIT!!!

Chad Cop: Find them and kill them!

(Red and Wolf fly away leaving everything behind on fire)

(Red & Wolf fly back into Wolf's cottage breaking down Wolf's door)

Red: That was fucking awesome!

Wolf: (little depressed) Yeah I guess.

Red: Let's do it again!

Wolf: I don't know Red

Red: What's wrong with you bro?

Wolf: (opens a long list of anarchy) getting chased by cops was supposed to be for tomorrow. We won't have enough time for bank robberies, food fighting at the homeless shelter, or kicking sheep off a cliff. 

Red: What?!

Wolf: We only have time left to release a herd of bulls in a wheel chair rally.

(cuts to people in wheel chairs being chased by bulls, Red & Wolf watch while eating popcorn) 

Wolf: Can't get better seats than this.

Red: there's got to be something we can do with the time left in the day.

Wolf: Hmm.

(Back at the Drunken Bear Tavern)

Red and Wolf: EPIC DRUNK PARTY MONTAGE!!!

(Wolf and Red get their drunk on all over again)

(next morning in bed)

Wolf: (Wakes up) Ugh. what a night.

Red: (shoots a machine gun in Wolf's room) Rise and shine bro!

Wolf: what happened last night?

(Wolf wakes up with ten women with wedding rings)

(Sees that he's wearing ten wedding ring on his hand)

Wolf: Oh Shit!

(Looks outside to see himself in a honeymoon hotel in Sal Segav)

Wolf: OH SHIT!!!

Red: Well it looks like you're fucked.

Wolf: or am I? (Takes the machine gun from Red) Till death do us part bitches.

(Wolf shoots at the women)

Red: Aww I didn't get to fuck them!

Wolf: No one marries me and gets away with it alive.

Red: Well except for-

(Fifi suddenly crashes through Wolf's window in her wedding dress)

Wolf: Aw fuck.

Red: I should have been your room mate years ago.

-end-

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.