|Life of a Bitch|
Suck my dick, If I had one.
|Other episodes by the author|
Final Day with Fifi
Bitchess is a bitch, we all admit it. But what does she actually do in her day. That your about to find out.
- Bitchess (antagonist)
- Lord Tourettes
- Wednesday (mentioned)
- Midnight Blaze (mentioned)
- Fifi (mentioned)
(shows Bitchess in her bed sleeping until she wakes up)
Bitchess: Ugh, another bitchin' night last night.
(Bitchess walks into her bathroom brushing her teeth. She walks outside and walks on a sidewalk)
Guy: Looking good ma'am.
Bitchess: (slaps him) Don't start pussy.
Guy: (rubs cheek) Oww. What a bitch.
(Bitchess continues walking and Red spots her)
Red: Now there's one sexy bitch!
Bitchess: (glares at Red and raises middle finger) Suck my dick, if I had one.
Red: Bad move bitch. You don't have a dick like that other girl!
Bitchess: I was joking you dumbass. Now move out of the way! Your moves look like an old person dying! (walks off)
Red: Wow what a bitch.
(Lord Tourettes skips on the sidewalk and runs into Bitchess)
Lord Tourettes: Hello new BITCH! You new here?
Bitchess: (freaked out) Uh are you okay?
Lord Tourettes: I have-
Bitchess: Oh never mind. You sound like a tempered elderly retard. (walks off)
Lord Tourettes: (teary) Your a meanie! My sister will teach you a FUCK or two! (runs off crying) What a BITCH!
Bitchess: I'd like to see her do her best. (walks off)
(Rapper is shooting bullets at Gang Members)
Rapper: Fucking assholes.
Bitchess: That includes you pussy.
Rapper: (points gun at Bitchess) EXCUSE ME!? What the fuck is wrong with you!?
Bitchess: (slaps gun away) YOU that's what! You just embarrass yourself, bitch! (leaves)
Rapper: You son of a bitch!
Bitchess: There's a reason my name is Bitchess. (leaves)
Rapper: Wow what a bitch.
(Stacy is dancing near two boys)
Stacy: (drunk) Let's all get drunk and fuck!
Boy 1: Hell yeah!
Boy 2: Totally.
Bitchess: You dicks really think your going to be fucking a bitch who can't even take care of herselves? Not bloody likley.
Boy 1: Hey! We can fuck her if we want!
Bitchess: If you end up dying from being fucked, don't come fucking brag to me dick! (leaves)
Stacy: (pissed) What the fuck is your problem!?
Bitchess: Every single bitch in this world!
All Three: Wow what a bitch.
(shows Bruce holding a large bag of cookies)
Bruce: Fifi better like these cookies I got for her.
Bitchess: (takes cookie) Thanks you shouldn't have! Not. (eats cookie)
Bruce: Excuse me?! Those belong to my girlfriend!
Bitchess: News flash, I don't fucking care.
Bruce: FIFI!!! There's cookies here! (looks around) Fifi? WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE?!
Bitchess: Trying to call your girlfriend, makes you a pussy.
Bruce: SHUT UP!!!
Bitchess: Not til' you shut your fucking mouth. (leaves)
Bruce: RAAGH!!! WHAT A BITCH!!!
(cuts to Steve & Holly laughing together while sitting on a picnic blanket)
Steve: Well isn't this nice? Beautiful day, birds chirping and-
Bitchess: (finishes) -Then you two fuck and die, The End.
Holly: (annoyed) Hi Bitchess.
Steve: Wasn't that the girl that helped us escape from the pirates?
Bitchess: I see you got it memorized.
Steve: Bitchess why are you being mean to everyone?
Bitchess: (snatches turkey) Huh?
Holly: Well we found Lord Tourettes crying about something you said to him, then we saw Bruce raging in anger because of you and then we saw Red freaking out about you. You need to apologise to them!
Bitchess: I don't give a bloody shit about whoever I meet.
Steve: What about us?
Bitchess: Meh, your okay. But I'm taking your food. I'm fucking starving.
(Bitchess takes the food and leaves)
Steve & Holly: Wow, what a bitch.
(Bitchess enters her home and sets her alarm clock, gets into her bed and naps)
Bitchess: Another day done baby. Fuck everyone I meet. Like they say, what a bi-
- Everyone Bitchess met called her a bitch.
- This was the first time Fifi didn't come out when the cookies were around.
- Blue & Pink didn't appear because they were still on their honeymoon after getting Married.