|Mari meets Simon|
|Written by||AndrewBrauer & AFiguresRock|
|Directed by||AndrewBrauer & AFiguresRock|
|Other episodes by the author|
The Cat and The Crack Whore
Long Story Short, Weird Story Long
Mari meets Simon from Lightshow, and the two end up in a strange situation.
(Opens with Mari in the park, fighting a demon, Simon happens to watch and his glasses fall down)
Simon:So this is the girl who is friend's with that girl Emma met.
(Mari saw Simon, went to him and pick up his glasses)
Simon: He-ll-oo what's your name?
Mari: ...Mari...your name?
Simon: Simon, but then again, most bitches know me, so how do you do all that shit?
Mari: …sensé, I am a demon paranormal hunter
Simon: Wish I knew that but…
(Suddenly a demon comes up behind Simon)
Mari: Don't move.
(Mari cut it in half and it was gone)
Mari: Sorry about that...it went your soul and blood, It want you soul and blood.
Mari: Demon, do you know about them? Demon want the world soul and blood, also power.
Simon: I know what Demon's are, I'm not a six year old, but why do you want the soul and blood?
Mari: ...(you know mean demon) Not sure. (Walk off).
Simon: Wait, I know you, do you know a girl named Heather?
Mari: ...She is my friend, how did you know?
Simon: My sister Emma met her when she was on one of her usual "Drug Dealers are after me" situations. She mentioned that she Heather knows you.
Mari: Heather like to help people. (Walk off, again) Heather Catkitty… I am dangerous.
Simon: What do you mean dangerous?
(Suddenly the ground rumbles and the land begins to crack open)
Simon: What the fuck is that?
Mari: Not again.
Simon: What? A new demon to slay?
(A huge red monster with eight arms comes out of the ground and roars at both Mari and Simon)
Simon: Is this typical for you?
Mari: Not really, You see. I need a person and since you're here, take this.
(Throws a golden gun at Simon)
Simon: (Excited) Bitchin'
(Suddenly Alice is shown behind Simon)
Alice: Simon, what are you doing?
Mari: What the…
Simon: Alice, you can't be here, I'm about to slay a demon with this girl named…
Alice: Mari, I know Emma told me.
Mari: WAIT, what?
Simon: Yeah, well this is something new to me and I really wanna try it.
(Simon throws Alice a knive)
Alice: What the fuck am I suppose to do with this?
Simon: Save it, it could be useful.
Mari: Knives weak, here have a silver sword.
(Mari throws Alice a silver sword)
Alice: I like her.
Simon: Shut up.
Mari: The weak spot are the arms, cut them all.
Simon: Ha, predictable!
(The monster suddenly grabs Simon and he drops his gun)
Simon: Are you fucking kidding me?
(Mari fly up and cut the arm of the demon. And got Simon)
(Alice picks up the golden gun)
Alice: (Yells) Grab this!
(Alice throws the gun and Simon catches it)
Simon: Now that wasn't predictable.
(Simon shoots an arm off of the monster)
(Mari teleportation on the demon arm and cut it off in to pieces)
Alice: I got the last arm!
(Alice grabs Mari's left arm and she flys in the air and slices the last arm)
Simon: God that gave me such a hard boner!
(Alice and Mari hit the ground and meet up with Simon as the demon goes back through the cracks and back into hell, everything goes back to normal)
Mari: ...Thank you guys.
Simon: Hey, that was the most fun ever since I was fuck buddies with this chick (Points at Alice)
Alice: (Punches Simon) Fuck you, thank god I broke up with you.
Mari: (Laughs) Simon, what was her name?
Simon: She's my friend Alice, or you could consider her a former sleeping buddy.
Alice: Surprised you managed to hang out with a girl long enough to not sleep with her using a stupid pick up line.
Simon: I managed to do you?
Alice: You and you're circumstances.
Mari: I don't sleep with guys how are trying to turn me on.
Alice: Simon always does it because deep inside he's miserable.
Simon: No I'm not, you're the miserable one who gets compared to Blue so much she wants to change her skin color.
Alice: No I don't.
Mari: ...Ok, poor Simon. Not getting a chance.
Alice: Well we work at Ball Busters, it's a nightclub, Emma may have mentioned it to you're friend Heather.
Mari: Heather and I have a job call demon paranormal hunter.
Mari: Your job, what is it about?
Simon: I run the club, she works for me, and we have other friends who work for us as well, you should meet them sometime.
Mari: Maybe I should... to get information about it…
Alice: Wait, why?
Mari: ...Cause I know how Heather want information about random stuff and it all up to me.
Simon: What are you trying to protect us?
(Simon snickers for a second)
Mari: (Mad a little) ...Yes…
(Simon looks confused for a few seconds, then Alice tugs his arm)
Alice: Simon, maybe we should go and leave Mari alone.
(Simon and Alice begin to leave the park)
Mari: You should leave. When it go dark, I am dangerous. (Walk off)
Simon: Okay, Emma meets the weirdest people in the world.
Alice: Like you're any better.