Perfect Hot Chocolate
Air date November 14, 2013
Written by CookieEyes
Other episodes by the author

Restaurant Wars

Ladies' Halloween



In order to earn more points in the Cooking Contest, Putain Délicieux needs to make their own hot beverage. However, since they mainly use mix to make hot beverages, Charlotte decides to ask someone to "borrow" their recipe.


(Charlotte is talking on the phone with Auburn.)

Auburn: Are you sure this is gonna be a good idea? You guys are supposed to be making your own dishes, you know.

Charlotte: We are gonna make our own dishes. It’s the beverage we’re having trouble with. We can’t seem to think of the right drink for the judges. Plus, we only make our hot drinks from mix we buy at the grocery store. People have noticed the brand we used without even guessing. We have to come up with our own hot beverage in order to receive extra points.

Auburn: So…you’re going to ask for someone else’s recipe?

Charlotte: Just for one occasion! It’s not like she owns a restaurant herself.

Auburn: But still, Char. This isn’t your own recipe for your own beverage. She doesn’t even work at Putain Délicieux. What if she gets mad that you didn’t give her any credit?

Charlotte: Relax. Once we win, I’ll give her cash or something. Not the check that blue girl said she’ll get me if I win the bet, but cash none the less.

Auburn: But, you’re still not giving her credit for the recipe.

(The doorbell is heard.)

Charlotte: Oh! She’s here. Later, Burn.

Auburn: See ya, (after Charlotte hangs up) bitch.

(Charlotte opens her front door while looking down.)

Charlotte: (cheerful) Hi there! Come on in.

Darla: Yeah yeah whatever. I appreciate your greeting already. Just make this quick. I have a tea party to attend to in an hour. (sits down at the dining room table)

(Charlotte sets a tray with two cups of tea onto the table and sits down.)

Charlotte: So…uhh, (smiles nervously) you’re okay now after what happened since the first time we met, huh? You know, with me telling you how much I hate Broseph and Earl Gay and telling you to go fuck yourself? We’re cool now that Indigo made me apologize, right?

Darla: I’ve already let that memory go. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have agreed to come. (looks down at the tray) And you didn’t have to make me tea.

Charlotte: Hey! I didn’t know you were going to a tea party until just now. I’d rather not have that shit spoil, you know.

Darla: (takes a cup) Oh, I understand. (takes a sip) So, you said something about me teaching you how to make some hot beverage, right?

Charlotte: Yyyyyeah. Something like that.

Darla: Well, are you in need of a certain drink? Like coffee? Fruit Smoothie? Wine?

Charlotte: Weelllll, Wednesday once told me that you offered her some drink and I would like to see how you made it.

Darla: Oh! You mean my special “Perfect Hot Chocolate”!

Charlotte: Perfect Hot Chocolate?

Darla: Yes. I’ve only shared it with Wednesday and Scarlet. I meant to share it with my best friends first, but they’re not into sweets.

Charlotte: I get what you’re saying.

Darla: So, you want me to teach you how to make it?

Charlotte: Eeyup. (puckers her lips) If you don’t mind?

Darla: Well, I suppose I have enough time to give you a demonstration. This won’t be made out of any mix, so you better have enough chocolate.

Charlotte: I do. I’m actually surprised I didn’t eat it all out of depression yet.

Darla: (gets up) Alright then. Let’s do this. (walks over to the kitchen) However, since this is a top secret recipe, we may have to use a time card.

Charlotte: (confused) A time wha—


Darla: (shows a fresh hot chocolate to Charlotte) And there you go. A fresh relaxing Perfect Hot Chocolate.

Charlotte: Wow! I feel like I never actually got to see how you made it, (sounding a bit more cheerful) yet the steps are already in my head!

(Darla looks at the camera and raises her eyebrows a couple of times in a suggestive manner.)

Darla: (turns back to Charlotte) I should probably get going, but mind if I ask you something?

Charlotte: Go ahead. Shoot.

Darla: Why did you want me to teach you how to make it? Or were you just curious when Miss Wednesday told you about it?

Charlotte: Oh. Well, Putain Délicieux is entering a restaurant contest, and I immediately got into a bet with some blue chick with a huge ass bow, so when I heard about your drink, I— …You okay, kid?

(Darla’s eye starts to twitch.)

Charlotte: …Kid?

(Cuts to Charlotte’s front door, where Darla charges out of the house.)


(Time lapse. Darla is running into the Shit Piss Fart Woods.)

Darla: Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!

(Wednesday is seen wearing a hood and cape while collecting nightshade and putting it in a basket.)

Darla: (voice fades in off-screen) Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck!

Wednesday: (looks to the left) Oh hey Darla.

(As soon as Darla comes on screen, she kicks Wednesday in the leg.)

Wednesday: (holds her leg in pain) (eyes turn red) WHAT THE FUCK!

Darla: Are you crazy?!

Wednesday: What?! The nightshade?! I’m not going to give it to anyone you like, I promise!

Darla: No! You just had to tell Miss Hagistaine about the Perfect Hot Chocolate, didn’t you? You weren’t supposed to tell anyone anyway!

Wednesday: (confused) …You didn’t tell me not to tell anyone…

Darla: …Really? … (groans in frustration) Great! Now I feel like the one who’s responsible for whatever happens to my best friends!

Wednesday: (sits down) Why? What’s going to happen?

Darla: (sits down) Midnight Blaze said that if I help her opponent win the bet, she’ll kill Earl, Broseph, and Gerald.

Wednesday: (shocked) …Huh?

(Wednesday has a sudden flashback of her sitting next to Darla from Today is Wednesday.)

Darla: (in flashback) Eighty six years ago today, July 29th, that is the day my friends died.

(Wednesday’s eyes widen in shock.)

Darla: I saw the body bags myself; I didn’t need to look inside them, but I know one thing for sure…Midnight Blaze murdered them!

(Flashback ends, but for a brief second, it switches to a young Wednesday crying with two puddles of blood in front of her. Wednesday (in the present) jerks her head up and shakes her head to get the flashbacks out of her mind.)

Darla: (hides her face with her cape) What am I going to do, Miss Wednesday? I can’t just let one of my worst enemies kill the first friends I ever made in this universe.

Wednesday: (trying to speak properly) Well, uhh, uh-uhh, w-wh-why not just give them a warning?

Darla: They’ll probably just say that they can take care of her themselves like the arrogant twats they are. This is Midnight Blaze I am talking about. Not only is she a skater, but a superhero back in her country. I’ve heard she’s beaten more than just bullies, which worries me so.

Wednesday: Then…I dunno. Hide them? (slightly pissed) Do I look like a miracle worker?!

Darla: (jumps up) That’s brilliant, Miss Wednesday!

Wednesday: Hm?

Darla: I can send them away! On vacations! They’ll be somewhere so far away, that bloody hermaphrodite will never find them!

Wednesday: I…didn’t really say anything about sending them on—

Darla: You said “hide them”, right? When they’re away, no one other than me is going to know where they are!

Wednesday: A-Aren’t you still going to warn them about what’s going on?

Darla: And let them assure me that they’ll be fine? Fuck no! I’d rather lock myself in a school where kids keep killing each other.

Wednesday: (after a pause) …Was that supposed to make sense or…?

Darla: (ignoring her question) (grins) I’ll keep you updated though. I may get Bro-Bro to send you a letter before he goes somewhere. Now, I must go prepare. (hides her body and mouth with her cape) My people need me. (teleports away)

Wednesday: …I…a-am I… (groans in frustration and kneels down) This is most likely going to end badl—

-Episode Ends-



What do you think about this episode?

The poll was created at 01:01 on November 15, 2013, and so far 3 people voted.

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