Piggies on the March
Air date 7-8-14
Written by Mdkid663, AndrewBrauer
Directed by Mdkid663
Location Maulmart, Jade's Homes, Cybertime Systems
Other episodes by the author

Ultra Violet Violence

Dawn of the Dicks



Violet and Jade team up to stop mutant pigs with guns from the future and save the world.



(Violet was waiting at Jade's home)

Jade: Violet, what's up?

Violet: Ah, just waiting for Jones with the new weapons I requested him.

Jade: It's like your always asking him for weapons, don't you work in an weapons industry?

Violet: Yeah, if you me guessing asking him for weapons is lazy. (pulls out a large shuriken) Here's to prove you wrong.

Jade: What is it? 

Violet: It's a shuriken that has an extendable rope for long distances.

Jade: Really? Cool.

Violet: I know, wanna check it out?

Jade: Okay, show me what thing can do.

(Violet throws the shuriken and pulls put a long black rope from the blade as it continues spinning)

Jade: Holy shit.

Violet: I know, but I don't mean to-

(A loud explosion is heard off screen)

Jade: What the fuck was that!?

Violet: I think it came from outside!

Jade: Let's go check it out.

Violet: Good idea.

(They run outside to see what's going on)

Jade: Where did you think it came from?

Violet: I think it was at Maulmart.

Jade: How did you know?

Violet: (points to Maulmart being overrun) Does this answer your question?

Jade: Okay then, how do we stop it?

Violet: Can you give me a pair of two pistols and katanas?

(Jade pulls out two pistols and katanas and gives them to Violet)

Violet: (pulls out a belt with lethal and tactical grenades and Jade and wears it on) Just in case.

Jade: (pulls out a minigun) And this!

Violet: No thanks. 

(Violet breaks through the window in slow motion and inside Maulmart and sees that the entire store is being overrun by giant mutant pigs)

Violet: (snorts) Giant... Pigs!? (snickers and laughs)

Jade: Careful, they are mutant.

Violent: (gets serious) Right, who wants to die first?

(The mutant pigs charge toward Violet and nearly ran over her)

(Violet quickly pulls out her katanas and slashes them all fast than the eye as the pigs pass through Violet, they fall into hundreds of pieces)

(Jade shoots at the mutant pigs with a minigun and they all explode with blood and guts flying everywhere)

(Violet shoots all the pigs accurately and precisely, the camera focuses on the bullets every time they fire from the pistols and fly through the pigs heads, she jumps on a mutant pigs head and shoots it and continuously runs on top the pigs heads and shoot them. Violet launches some fast kick combination attacks at the pigs when he jumped back down and slices the pigs heads, arms and legs clean off, the body parts slowly fall off and blood sprays everywhere  as Violet cleans off the blood on the katanas. Violet throws a storm of grenades both frag and incendiary and shoots at each very sensitive point at the grenades, the camera focuses on each bullet that is about to reach for the grenade and when they hit, they all unleash a storm of explosions, reducing all the pigs into both ash and ham at the same time)

Jade: Wow, you steal the show didn't you.

Violet: (pants) Hey, sometimes I think of it as draining all my energy you know?

Jade: Energy?

Violet: Never mind.

Jade: So is that all of them?

Violet: You check the food store while I head to the electronics, engage in close combat when necessary. If you see any of our friends help them.

Jade: Got it. (they both walk into Maulmart)

(Violet walks in the food store with her twin pistols and is not an any alert)

Jade: (on a earpiece) See anything?

Violet: (through the earpiece) Nope, you?

Jade: I don't see anything.

Violet: Well, we should go find Jones and see-

(A loud squeal of a pig of heard from Jade's earpiece)

Jade: There's still more of them!

Violet: You know what to do.

(Jade pulls out twin katanas and slices the pigs with their entrails and intestines out)

(Violet pulls out her twin pistols and shoots them all precisely, then uses her large shuriken to slice their heads and extends the black rope, a mutant pig slowly came behind Violet and is about to shoot her with an assault rifle but Violet shoots first before the pig can as it slowly fall to the ground dead)

Jade: They can shoot!?

Violet: This would explain why they overthrown Maulmart.

Jade: But why?

Violet: Come to think of it, they all have futuristic weapons.

Jade: They must be from the future, and they keep coming here!

(A giant cyborg boar is slowly walking towards Violet and stops)

Mutant Pig: Destroy the 2 human females.

(The cyborg boar fires rapid bullets at Violet as she dodges them in a fast pace)

Violet: And they HAVE to have a cyborg with them!

Jade: WHAT!?

Violet: Let me handle this! You just go on ahead!

Jade: To where!?

Violet: To Jones, see if he's safe!

Jade: Okay, I'll look around the mall some more.

(Jade runs off to continue searching in the mall)

(Violet locks her twin pistols at the cyborg boar but it's unaffected by the bullets, she runs to the cyborg and jumps on the minigun and to the back of the head. Violet pulls out one of her katanas and with one quick thrust, pierces through the neck and jumps off the cyborg boar as the boar itself squirts blood from both the front and back of the neck and shoots his miniguns while squealing in pain and explodes his head in slow motion while brain splatter flies everywhere)

Jade: (through the earpiece) What's your status?

Violet: Took care of it.

Jade: Excellent.

Violet: What about you?

Jade: Nothing so far.

Violet: Right, let's head back to Jones and see what's going on.

(They head back at Jade's home)

Jones: Where have you two ladies been?

Violet: We have to take care of some mutant pigs from the future.

Jones: Got any ideas?

Violet: I saw some giant robotic mutant pig that's causing havoc at a city far away in a monitor while I was in Cybertime Systems. I think that was the first mutant pig before all this, if we can kill him it will create a time paradox.

Jade: Wow, you figured all that out right way?

Violet: Surprised?

Jade: Kinda.

Jones: Then again, your like fucking super smart, so we should've expected that shit from you.

Jade: Then what should we do is...

Violet: Get a time machine and go straight to the past, then kill the pig and everything would go back to normal.

Jones: Ah man, now we go that time travel shit again!

Violet: Do you least have a time machine?

Jade: Well... We thought you had one Violet.

Violet: I do, so we'll rendezvous at Cybertime Systems.

Jade: Sounds like a plan.

Violet: Race you there when we get back to the past.

Jones: Race?

Violet: You know, when we get back to the past, I'll get to the mutant pig first before Jade.

Jade: We'll see!

(Jones picks her up and they fly to Cybertime Systems)

(Violet simply jumps to each rooftop to get to Cybertime Systems)

Jones: Shit, Violet can almost do anything!

Violet: Let's just go to the time machine already.

(Violet and Jade went inside the machine)

Jones: You want me to come just in case?

Violet: Nah, I think we're good. (to Jade) Can you pull out a high powered rocket launcher?

Jade: (pulls out a high powered rocket launcher) Here ya go. (hands it to Violet)

(Soon, the gigantic mutant pig walks to the group with many weapons in his body)

Jade: We better go, like NOW!!!

Violet: RIGHT!!!

(Violet sets the time on the machine)

Violet: Alright. July 13, 2013.

(They travel back to July 13, 2013)

Jade: Where could he be?

(The giant cyber pig was shooting machine guns at a city)

Jade: (sees the cyber pig) Well that answers our question.

Violet: Do you think this rocket launcher has enough fire power to take this thing down?

Jade: It should.

Violet: Good, cause it we get there, it'll take a lot of time for me to fire. So you'll have to distract the pig for me to have enough time.

Jade: Okay. (runs up to the mutant pig and shoots an assault rifle at the pig, where the pig would chase Jade around)

(Violet aims at the pig's giant testicles carefully while far away)

(Jade continues firing her assault rifle at the pig while he tries to stop her)

(Violet targets the testicles as the launcher is ready to fire)

Jade: Violet! You ready!?

Violet: This little piggy went to hell.

(Violet fires the rocket launcher as the camera focuses on the missle heading straight towards the pig's testicles and hits them, causing a high impact explosion to repeats three times)


(Soon after, the background litterally rains ham endlessly, Violet then walks up to Jade)

Violet: You know, we make on hell of a team you know that?

Jade: (smiles) Fucking best there is.

Violet: Come on, let's go home.

(Violet and Jade walks to the time machine as Jade grabs a giant piece of ham before they traveled back to the present)


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