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Red Clause
Red Clause
"Anything to make my Son happy."
Air date 09-1-2014
Written by YoshiRocker13
Directed by YoshiRocker13
Location Blue's House
Other episodes by the author

Baldy Blue

If Dick Figures Had Color

 

Summary

After accidentally telling Blink that Santa wasn't real, Blue gets Red to cheer him up, the 'Christmas' way.

Characters

Transcript

(Blue storms right inside in a very pissed mood, he walks upstairs and shows Blink watching TV)

News Reporter: So why don't you parents come and take your children to see Santa Clause at the mall today? He would LOVE to see you.

Blink: (gasps) SANTA!

(Pink is asleep on her bed as Blue storms right in waking Pink up)

Pink: H- Huh? (yawns) Hey honey.

Blue: (grits his teeth) Hey. (lays next to her)

Pink: Hey, what's wrong?

Blue: MY BOSS IS A FUCKING PRICK!

Pink: Oh, why?

Blue: HE WOULDN'T GIVE ME A FREAKING CHRISTMAS RAISE SO NOW I CAN'T BUY STUFF FOR CHRISTMAS!

Pink: Relax honey I have MY christmas cash. (pulls out a box filled with more than $2,000

Blue: (growls) Just let me calm down. (yawns)

Pink: Okay, how about we watch some Fang Angels?

Blue: (speaks in brain) FFUUUCK! (speaks) Uh s-sure.

(Pink turns the TV on to watch Fang Angels)

Blink: MOMMY! DADDY! (runs in the room) GUESS WHAT!?

Pink: What is it sweetie?

Blue: (speaks in head) Oh great now he's going to ruin my day.

Blink: Santa's at the mall! IT'S EXCITING! Can we go see him Daddy?

Blue: (sighs in anger)

Pink: Uhh, I think your father is tired. Maybe tomorrow.

Blink: Aww! But he's only here TODAY! Can we PLEEAASEE go see him?

Blue: (to Pink) Can't you go take him?

Pink: My car's in repair remember?

Blue: Oh.

Pink: Sorry Blink.

Blink: Who cares if Dad's tired!? I WANNA SEE SANTA!

Blue: (speaks in head) He is pissing me off right now. (speaks) No! You can't get whatever you want Blink!

Blink: YES I CAN! I WANNA SEE SANTA! I WANNA SEE SANTA! I WANNA SEE SANTA! I WANNA SEE SANTA! I WANNA SEE SANTA!

(as Blink keeps asking and nagging, Blue becomes more angry and pissed)

Blue: (grits his teeth) I just said it! NO!

Pink: Blink please, let your Dad rest.

Blink: NO! I WANNA SEE SANTA! PLEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!?

Blue: (snaps) NOO!!! SANTA'S NOT REAL!!! HE'S JUST SAME FAT JERK DRESSED UP AS SANTA!!! SANTA WAS NEVER REAL!!!

Blink: (teary) What? Santa's not real?? IS THIS TRUE???

Blue: YES!

(Blink bursts into tears and runs out the room)

Pink: BLUE! (punches his arm)

Blue: Ow! (rubs his arm in pain)

Pink: WHY WOULD YOU TELL BLINK THAT!?!

Blue: He was getting in my way! WHY CAN'T HE LEARN TO LISTEN!?

Pink: (slaps Blue) THAT IS A STUPID REASON TO TELL HIM THAT! YOU HAD BETTER GO APOLOGISE TO BLINK RIGHT NOW AND TELL HIM SANTA'S REAL OR, OR (thinks) I'LL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER SEE OR DO CRAZY FUN SHIT AGAIN!

Blue: Alright fine! I'll go- Actually, (thinks) I think I have a better idea.

(shows Red in his room at Wolf's cabin looking bored)

Red: When the fuck will Wolf and Fox get back!? (sighs)

(Red hears the phone ring and answers it)

Red: Sup dick shit!?

Blue: (annoyed) Hey Red, um I need to ask you a favor.

Red: Shoot.

Blue: Can you come over dressed up as Santa clause?

Red: What!? Fuck no! Why!?

Blue: I accidentally told Blink that Santa wasn't real. I was in a bad mood.

Red: (shakes his head) Tsk, tsk, tsk. Bad move Bloser.

Blue: Look just come do it! I'll lend you my GameStation 4 if you do.

Red: (glares at the phone)

Blue: Uhh and a Boob Album #2! I think Fox's naked boobs are in there.

Red: Deal! (hangs up and runs out)

(Red arrives at Blue's house)

Blue: Alright dude, come into my room and I'll get the costume out.

Red: Whatever.

(they head into Blue's room, Blue gets a red suit out his closet)

Blue: Put this on. (throws it on Red's lap)

Red: Fine! (puts it on)

Blue: Now I need you to wear this white beard, and this Santa hat.

Red: (places his hands on his hat) NO! I will not allow you to take my cap!

Blue: You can't wear two hats at once!

Red: Yes I can. (grins)

Blue: Ugh Fine! (puts the santa hat over Red's cap)

(shows Blink crying on his bed in his room)

Blue: (nervously) Uh, hey Blink.

Blink: GO AWAY!

Blue: Uh, he-hey son. Santa Clause is in our house! (laughs nervously)

Blink: (sniffs) W- What?

Blue: Guess who's in our house?

Blink: Wh-Who?

Blue: Santa Clause!

Blink: B-But you said Santa wasn't real!

Blue: Err, I lied! Santa flew over our house on his sleigh, went down the Chimney and came into our house to see you!

Blink: (gasps) Really!?

Blue: Yeah! Come see him!

Blink: (long gasp) Santa! Santa! Santa!

(they go into the room Red is in)

Blue: Here he is son!

Blink: OH MY GOSH! SAAAANTAAAAA!!!

Red: Err, (nervously) Ho, ho, ho? (speaks in head) Heh, like saying Hoe.

Blink: (sits on his lap) IS IT REALLY YOU SANTA?

Red: (shudders) Err, yes young son! It is me Santa Clause! Ho, ho, ho!

Blue: Okay, ask him what you want for Christmas son.

Blink: Hmm.... Oh! I want an Xcube 7000, GameStation 4, Wii Zu, and a Yoshi!

Red: Uhh, s-sure. You'll be getting those.

Blue: (turns pale) Oh man... (about to vomit)

Pink: What's going on down here? (realises) RED?!

Blue: (covers her mouth) Shhhh!

Blink: Yes Mommy, Santa is wearing red.

Red: (glares at Pink)

Pink: (pulls Blue into another room) Okay, what's going on?!

Blue: Well, after I told Blink Santa wasn't real. I got Red to dress up as Santa so I could cheer Blink up...

Pink: Really Blue? You did all that for Blink? Aww your a sweetie.

Blue: Let's just hope it doesn't go wrong.

Red: (goes wide-eyed) Shit, this beard is making me itchy...

Blink: So will you give me some presents that I want tomorrow Santa?

Red: Y-Yes! Now I hope you have a merry christmas but Santa has more presents to deliver. (about to leave)

Blink: Wait! Stay with us a little longer!

Red: But don't forget about the other children. THEY need presents too.

(Red continues to hold in the itch from the beard, but going nuts, Red takes it off and scratches his chin crazily while his hat falls off)

Blink: Wha-? UNCLE RED!?

Red: Ye-Yeah it's me...

Blink: So, (teary) Santa's STILL not real!?

Blue: Err no! RED was SANTA ALL this time!

Blink: (gasps) So my uncle is SANTA CLAUSE?! YAAAAY!!!

Red: NOOO! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM!?!

Blue: Anything to make my son happy.

Red: Next time! I'm going to fucking kill you!

(Blink cuddles Red)

Red: GOD DAMN IT!

Pink: Good job Blue. (kisses Blue's cheek)

Red: I hate you.

(END)

(after-credits, Lord Tourettes jumps on the black screen)

Lord Tourettes: Merry SHIT-Mas and a CRAPPY new year!

YoshiRocker13: L.T. Christmas is already over. I just made this Xmas special for fun.

(REAL END)

Poll

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The poll was created at 10:13 on January 9, 2014, and so far 7 people voted.

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