|Roar's New Home|
"Please kill me."
|Air date||May 1, 2014.|
|Other episodes by the author|
All Hail the Bitch
Red drags Blue along to help Roar find a new home after the trash is cleared.
(Red and Blue are walking through town.)
Red: Isn't it gonna be great to see my pet again?
Blue: (bored) You mean the ugly mosnter that wrecked the whole fucking city?
Red: (long gasp) Roar is not a monster! YOU are! (floats away) Yesssssssss.
(They arrive to a large area where only Roar is found.)
Red: Hey doggy old buddy! What's shakin'?
Blue: HE'S NOT A-
Red: (knocks Blue out with a baseball bat) Ignore him.
Red: What? Why so mad bro?
(Red looks around the place.)
Red: Something's weird around here.... (to Roar) Are you moving out bro?
(Red notices a workman cleaning up all of the trash in the dump. Red storms up to him.)
Red: Hey douche! What'cha doing with all of Roar's things?!
Workman: We're getting rid of it.
Workman: (frowns) this place needs to be clean up! And we're going to execute that THING in a few hours!
Red: (punches the workman) YOUR RUINING MY PET'S HOME! AND HE'S A DOG!
Workman: He's NOT a dog! And we're not letting this entire trash dump stink up the entire city!
Blue: He's got a point.
Red: Well WE'RE not gonna let THAT happen! Right Roar?
(Roar's trash are already gone.)
Red: NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (cries)
Blue: (pause) Please kill me.
Red: You know what that means? (sniffs) Roar gets to stay at YOUR place!
Blue: WHAT?! NO! We're not having that thing at MY house again!
Red: Think of him as a pet for your kid.
Blue: NO! Can't he live with you at Wolf's?
Red: Uhh, I don't think he allows giant dogs...
(Blue face palms in annoyance.)
Red: (wipes his eyes) Don't worry Roar! We'll make you a new home!
Blue: And how the fuck are we suppose to do that?
(Red finishes drinking a can of coke and tosses it in the dump yard.)
Blue: (eye twitches) You've got to be kidding me...
(Roar bites down an entire building, killing everyone inside, he throws it into the dump yard.)
Blue: WHAT THE FUCK MAN?! YOU JUST KILLED AN ENTIRE BUILDING OF PEOPLE!
(Stacy crawls out from the wreckage.)
Stacy: Whoo! It's good to be alive again! (dies)
Red: (throws more trash in the dump yard) Roar's new home will be done in NO time!
(The trash collectors suddenly clean up the trash.)
Red: HEY! That was our dump!
Trash Collector: Which has to be burned! (walks away)
Red: Fuck you asshole!
Blue: Uhh, maybe we should just go home.
Red: You mean take Roar home?
Blue: NO! I mean, just you go to YOUR home, and I go to mine you idiot.
Roar: Roar go too?
Blue: No! You can stay here in this... empty trash dump...
Red: Never fear old dog! We'll find you a perfect home!
(Red and Blue take Roar to Broseph's home.)
Broseph: What the hell is that thing?!
Red: It's my pet dog, Roar!
Broseph: Bra, that's a monster!
Roar: (gets angry) ME NO MONSTER! ME ANGRY! (crushes Broseph's house)
Red: You made my dog angry!
Broseph: Bra, you cray cray.
(cuts to Red, Blue and Roar in the Shit Piss Fart woods.)
Blue: Uhh, I'm not sure if L.T. will like this monster in his woods.
Red: Do you really think I give a shit, dude?
Blue: (sighs) Obviously not...
(Red and Blue arrive at Lord Tourettes' house.)
Red: Welcome to your new home Roar! (points to L.T.'s house) And you have a nice bed too!
(Roar is about to lie on L.T.'s house.)
Lord Tourettes: (wakes up from his bed) Aahhh, what a lovely FUCK I had!
(He notices a large shadow above his house.)
Lord Tourettes: (looks up) FUCK!!!
(Roar lies on L.T.'s house, crushing Lord Tourettes to death.)
Blue: What. The. Fuck?!
Red: See? Told ya he'd love it dude!
Blue: DUDE! He just killed L.T.!
Red: Naah, he's just nappin'.
Roar: Nighty nighty... (snores loudly)
Blue: (covers his eyes) Aaah! That's too loud!
(Red naps besides Roar and snores even louder.)
Blue: Could this day possibly get any worse?
Wednesday: (angry) Blue? Why is our house crushed?!
Lord Tourettes: (comes out from the damage) I just got FUCKED!