|Season 1, Episode 11|
Metal Gear Hardening
- Lord Tourettes
(We begin this adventure with Red, Blue and LT playing a game of Poker.)
Blue: Red, you better not be using your x-ray vision to see through the cards again.
Red: Dude, I never cheat!
Red(in head): I cheat all the fucking time!
Blue: I'll get it.
(He opens the door to find Broseph.)
Broseph: Hey, bras! How's it chillin'? You playin' Poker? Alright!
Red, Blue and Tourettes: FUCK OFF.
Broseph: Calm down bras!
Lord Tourettes: Bra? Are you a FUCKING girl?
Broseph: Ha! No. All 'yall are girls.
Red: Oh yeah? Let's see whos the girliest!
Blue: Whoever wins gets one swirlie a day for a year!
Broseph: This is absolutely stupid, bro.
Lord Tourettes: Ha! I'm not getting a FUCKING swirlie!
Broseph: Oh, you totes will!
Red: Totes? What the fuic?
Blue: Can you stop using hipster talk?
Broseph: Let's just get this bitch started!
Broseph: So bro, I was totally going through the woods, and I saw a frickin' bear! It was ridiculous, but I totally skinned it and wore it's fur like a BOSS. I went to take a shit in the bushes, but then some hot ladies showed up. Their boobies were huge! I had to bone them, so I unzipped my pants and showed them my 10 foot dick. They were totally suckiling on my dick, it was amazing! Their tits were all up in my mouth. It was an amazing orgy.
Red: Ha! That was so girly! My story is gonna be so manly, you all are getting swirlies!
Red: My day began with me eating expired pills and having a robo trip. I then taken away by a sexy guardian angel, and she let me caress her perfect boobies!
Blue: That was so weak, man! It didn't even sound manly!
Red: What about you, LT?
Lord Tourettes: Haha! You guys are PUSSIES! Well...
Lord Tourettes' Story.
Lord Tourettes: One day, I was playing on my FUCKING PS3, when a package came in the mail! I opened it up, and saw a SHIT-FACE cat! Hehe! When I picked it up, it was so GODDAMN cold! So I put it over the oven, AND FEASTED ON ITS INSIDES WHILE SHOVING BEER BOTTLES UP MY COCK!!!!
Red: So Blue, you got a story?
Blue: Yeah, but it's way to dirty to say in front of other people.
LT: Go on! Tell us!
Blue: Okay then. I wa-
(TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. PLEASE STAND BY.)
(Everybody is disgusted while Blue's arms are folded.)
Broseph: I think Blue is the manliest.
Blue: Hey Red. Ready for your swirlie?
Red: God dammit.
(Blue pours a bucket of water on Red)
Red: GOD DA-