|Science No More|
Science... could be bad.....
|Other episodes by the author|
The True Girlfriend
War of the Dicks
Everyone finds Professor Stick's inventions to be bad and that it's a bad reason to create them. Professor Stick retires from science right when something bad is about to happen.
(Professor Stick is seen holding a ray gun)
Professor Stick: Time to find a test subject for my latest invention!
(Red is seen walking down the street)
Red: (drunk) Hey, hey, hey, hey Prof.
Professor Stick: Goodness Red! Have you been drinking that brown stuff?
Red: You mean brown shit?
Professor Stick: No! BEER!
Red: Dibs! (drinks beer) Hey what's that?
Professor Stick: Well It's my-
Red: GIMME! (snatches gun and shoots at himself)
Professor Stick: Oh dear.
(Red notices boobs, hair, and a vagina growing on him)
Red: (now a female) The fuck!?
Professor Stick: Never fear! I can-
Red: This is AWESOME!
Professor Stick: Hmm?
Red: Now I can make out with myself!
Professor Stick: (disgusted) Gross! (walks away)
Red: (rips off bras) Who wants to fuck me now bitches!?
Professor Stick: Maybe I should just get rid of that one.
(Prof Stick accidentally bumps into Jess who drops her shopping bags)
Professor Stick: Oh dear! I'm terribly sorry!
Jess: It's alright. I dropped these already.
(both reach for a carrot as they bang heads)
Jess: Ow! Sorry!
Professor Stick: (groans) It's all good. I too am clumsy.
Jess: Hey, thanks for the help. What's your name?
Professor Stick: My name is Henry, but most people call me Professor Stick.
Jess: Why's that?
Professor Stick: I am an inventor!
Jess: (excited) Ooh! Nice! Well, I better get going.
Professor Stick: Would you like to use one of these warp remotes?
Jess: (blushes) Um, no thanks. I feel like walking anyway.
Professor Stick: Very well. Cheerio! (walks away)
Jess: (silently) See ya. (walks away)
(shows Blue walking with a chart list)
Blue: Now let's see. I need more bottles and I-
Professor Stick: Why hello young Blue! Fine day today isn't it?
Blue: Ugh, Prof. I'm kinda busy. I gotta buy some more supplies for my baby.
Professor Stick: Your having a baby?
Blue: Yup. Me and Pink are having a baby.
Professor Stick: I have this warp pad to teleport you there faster!
Blue: Uh, okay I guess. (takes it) How do you use this thi- (dissapears)
(Blue suddenly appears in the air and falls in the lake)
Blue: The fuck!? How was I suppose to work this thing!?
(Blue notices crocodiles surrounding him)
Blue: Aah Fu-
(cuts to Lord Tourettes skipping through the street)
Lord Tourettes: I like to SHIT! I like to FUCK! I like to FUCKTITASSES!
Professor Stick: Goodness young man! You have tourettes syndrome!
Lord Tourettes: Well of course I FUCKING do!
Professor Stick: I know what'll help!
(he pours a drink in L.T.'s mouth)
Lord Tourettes: Ooh! Tastes like magic! (realises) What the fudge!? What did you do to my syndrome!?
Professor Stick: Why I cured it! Now you won't swear in front of anyone!
Lord Tourettes: B-But I-
Professor Stick: You can thank me later. I'm kinda opening my shop now. (walks away)
Lord Tourettes: (cries) My syndrome! My long kept syndrome.... IS GONE! (runs away crying)
(Professor Stick is now at his shop and hears a bell)
Professor Stick: Can I help you?
(he notices Blue & Lord Tourettes glaring angrily at him while Red (still female) dances around.
Red: (sings) Naked boobs all day! Something great I must praise!
Blue: Professor Stick! We've had enough of your inventions!
Lord Tourettes: I WANT MY SYNDROME BACK!
Professor Stick: I can create an antidote.
Blue: NO! You must STOP making these stupid inventions!
Professor Stick: But their smart! And they help!
Blue: WHY would you make these weird inventions!? For fucking money!!?
Professor Stick: But-
Blue: SHUT DOWN!
(Blue knocks down the sign and walks away. Lord Tourettes slaps Prof. Stick and walks away. Red continues dancing)
Red: I loved mah invention!
(Professor Stick is seen watching the sunset)
Professor Stick: True. My inventions are random. Why should I even create them anyway? I'm leaving! For good!
(cuts to Jess walking down the street where Gang Members await)
Gang Member 1: (spanish) Aha! Here comes a chicko!
Gang Member 2: Which we shall fuck and take her cash!
Jess: Wh- Who's there?
Gang Member 1: Oh, only us. (laughs)
Jess: P-please don't hurt me!
Gang Member 2: We're going to fuck you though!
Gang Member 1: So we can take your money?
Jess: But It's mine!
Gang Member 2: Ours now!
(Professor Stick notices what's going on)
Professor Stick: Goodness gracious!
Jess: S-someone help me!
Professor Stick: (groans) I shouldn't use this science again! But that girl needs help! (pulls out a potion) Hopefully this helps.
(he throws the potion as it pours on Jess)
(she begins shooting lasers out her eyes and melting the gang members)
Gang Member 1: I regret nothiiiing! (melts)
Gang Member 2: No you don't! (melts)
Jess: What the fuck?
Professor Stick: A-are you alright lady?
Jess: Yeah I'm fine a- Hey! I know you! Henry right?
Professor Stick: Yes that's me. I gave you that potion to help you. But I can make it come off.
Jess: That'll be good. Thanks anyway.
Professor Stick: Well I'd best be going.
Jess: W-where are you going?!
Professor Stick: No one wants my inventions anymore.
Jess: (puts hand on his shoulder) But I do! Your inventions are cool!
Professor Stick: Really?
Jess: (hands him paper) Call me sometime. We should catch up!
Professor Stick: That's great.
Red: (still a female, comes up to Prof Stick) Hey Prof. Tell me do you like to fuck?
Professor Stick: Aah Fu-
- Lord Tourettes losing his tourettes syndrome was simillar to Le Petit Tourette.