|TV Live-Ray Commercial|
Now this bitch comes with everything
|Other episodes by the author|
Suck It commercial
Red makes a commercial for a new disastrous product for the world of entertainment. See what he's selling and how it affects people.
Red Narrating: Are you tired of watching the same old TV like this fat-ass?
(Blue is watching tv with a sleepy bored expression)
Red Narrating: Watching the same old boring movies like this sexy bitch?
(Stacy watching Blue-Gray movies and dozes off with her head in a popcorn bowl)
Red Narrating: Feel as if you died from listening to boring surround sound on your television?
(Mr. Dingleberry is dead in his chair watching tv)
Red: Well now you can have this all new entertainment system in your home right now asshole. (Shaking red words) TV LIVE-RAY! Now this bitch comes with everything you would want in your home with kick ass features like live action from the movies you watch to make you feel the action is right there in you’re home.
Broseph: (Watching a UFC fighting match) Sweet! It looks so real like they could come out and…
(UFC fighters jump out from the tv screen and beats the crap out of Broseph)
Red: Then there is the Live-Ray God-Mode sound system to blow your God damn mind.
Trollzor: (in the middle of two giant speakers) Aw yeah! Lets check out this. (TV plays an nuclear explosion and the speakers cause Trollzor to explode)
Red: Or blow up your very existence. And then there is the perfect quality system to ultimately enhance your picture.
Lord Tourettes: (enhances the picture so bright and overpowering) Oh my, it is soooo DAMN beautiful. (his eyes then melt and explode from the picture‘s high quality)
Red: But this baby doesn’t only do movies, it also works with video games as well.
(shows a group of nerds playing Flame Wars)
Red: tired of those pesky campers you just can’t find? Have your player find the user and take them out! (Flame War soldier leaps from the tv to stab and shoot the nerds)
Red: Wish you could see how far you could get in a zombie apocalypse? Well turn on the game and have them swarm in on you!
(Shows a guy being torn to pieces by zombies)
Red: Whoa three seconds. Ha what a little puss.
(a kitten meows at Red)
Red: That’s right Kitty Amazing Two. If would like to meet those hot game bitches… (shows the hottest female game characters around Red giving him massages) …Oh shit. Well you know.
(shows in the background that the city is in flames as movie and video game characters and monsters run rampant in the city)
Red: So as you can see, everyone is getting one of these things. What’s that you say? You parents won’t let you buy it? Well just steal that shit from their wallet while their asleep. Your parents will thank you later for the TV Live-Ray when you receive form the delivery service. (Shows a giant package crush a house)
Red: Well cock fags have fun with your new entertainment systems while I seek refuge on a fortified island from this big screen apocalypse with all your money and remember why you bought this thing in the first place… Cuz I’m AWESOME!!!