The Crazy Ones
The Crazy Ones
How Dare You!?
Air date 4-28-14
Written by AndrewBrauer & Panda-warrior1995
Directed by AndrewBrauer
Location Jade's Home and Mc Arnold's
Other episodes by the author

The Bloody Breakdown

Booty Call

 Jade meets Jones's new friend Don, and the three of them decide to have some fun with mind control.



(Opens with Jones and Don eating burgers at Mc Arnold's)

Jones: So hope seems cool.

Don: Yeah, but she's a little hyper. I think she needs to lay off the ice cream just a tad.

Jones: Well she broke a random man's neck when we went to the park earlier today.

Don: She'll do that.

Jones: And what about that alien looking chick with all that smiling?

Don: Zendora? Yeah she's a little giggly.. But she's also incredibly murderous.. To be fair she is a war princess, but still.

Jones: (Laughs) Sounds like my kind of girl.

Don: Don't try anything, the last dude who hit on her ended up with his balls and his eyes replaced.

Jones: Whatever, bitches are super sexy to me. (Chews on his burger)

Don: (Sigh) I just don't get men. (sips her drink) anyway, what about your friends? Other than Twilight, I don't know anyone.

Jones: Well, I've mentioned Jade many times and never really told you much about her.

Don: Well, you should introduce us.

Jones: Alright, but I should warn you, she's very dangerous. But you probably don't give a shit.

Don: I think I got it.

Jones: How do you know?

Don: Have you met my friends? I think I got this.

(Cuts to Jade shooting at various targets at a gun range with an assault rifle, then Jones and Don show up)

Jones: Yo Jade! This is Don.

(Jade hears Jones and points her gun at Don)

Jade: (To Don) Okay, who are you?

Don: Huh? Oh I'm Don.... Hi?

Jade: (Puts her gun away) Sorry, I just wanted to make sure you weren't a spy or some shit like that.

Don: No, no not a spy. If I where, I'd be awesome at it.

Jade: (Smirks) Really? If you were a spy I would've put a bullet in you head right away.

Jones: But she's not, she's a friend of mine who also happens to be a telekinetic as well.

Jade: Ah that's nice Jones, you have a tele-buddy.

Don: How exactly did you know that?

Jade: What do you mean?

Jones: (To Don) I told her you were telekinetic.

Don: Oh, didn't hear. I take it your Jade.

Jade: Well no shit, Jones must talk about me all the time with you since he's found a tele-buddy.

Jones: Whatever, this girl is really cool.

Jade: Okay, how?

Don: I just am.. I can't explain it, without sounding like I'm bragging.

Jade: Oh please, I brag the most out of all my friends.

Jones: You should hear the stories about her, what I told you so far is just what she looks like in person.

Don: Me and my friends have a tendency to get ourselves in deep shit.

Jade: Me and Jones live for that.

Don: Yeah, he's told me. Pretty much everyone in our group is... strange in some way. So getting into shit is easy.

Jade: Here's a rundown of the freaks I know, Jones is genius mind mover, Twilight is a smart ass wizard, Randy is a multi-emotional bro, and then this chick we like to mess with his Rare.

Jones: The richest, biggest, and bitchiest celebrity in the world. You may have heard her songs "Let Me Go" and "Sappy"

Don: I may have. Basically I know, an alien war princess, a fucking crazy MMA fighter, a 9 year old who can make her own death rays, a 15 year old who can walk on walls, and a perverted photopath who won't stop hitting on me.

Jade: Sounds like your friends are awesome.

Don: They are, after all, why else would I be friends with them.

Jones: Either to fuck them or to fuck with them. (Chuckles)

Jade: Or just use them for our own advantage.

Don: Well, I don't plan on doing any of those... But sometimes it is fun to mess with them, as a joke.

Jade: Then you'd be good friends with Wolf, if he doesn't try to kill you at least.

Jones: Well Don is still an apprentice at being a wizard.

Jade: Really? What are you a slow learner?

Don: I just don't care for wizardry, anyways it's dark magic and that crap can be dangerous. I only have it cause of my mom anyway.

Jade: Well, I just use what I have and make it an advantage, that's why I'm such a bad-ass killer. (Shoots a random man with a pistol)

Jones: And a damn sexy one as well.

(Jade smirks)

Don: Eh, whatever, It's just a crappy old book anyway...

Jade: I'm bored as shit right now, what do you like to do in your free time Don?

Don: Nothing much

Jones: Bullshit, if you got nothing to do, we'll all do something together.

Jade: We should use that magic shit you were talking about.

Don: Magic? I don't know, it's supposed it be really fucking dangerous. Besides, I do stuff, It's just pointless.

Jade: I live for danger how bad can it be?

Jones: We'll just crack open a few beers at our house and do some stupid shit with your magic.

Don: It's rumored that if you use it too much it can devour your soul or something.

Jones: I'm sure if it does happen we'll always find a way out like always.

Don: Optimist much? We can try a little, but let's not go crazy with this magic shit.

Jones: Fuck yeah!

(Cuts to Jade, Jones, and Don at Jade's Home, they are sitting on Jade's couch, Jones opens a beer can and drinks it, Jade does the same)

Jade: (Hands Don a beer can) Here, enjoy the free beer.

Don: Thanks! (opens it and takes a sip) So, anything in particular you guys wanna do with the magic?

Jade: (Sips her beer) How about something funny.

Don: Let me see, (Flips the pages of the book telekineticly) Well, there's one that will make people's voices really funny. And one that will make them unable to stop farting.

Jones: How about one where we can go inside the mind of someone!

Don: I can sorta already do that... Without magic.

Jade: Sound great, we make them do all kinds of crazy shit in their mind.

Don: Um... I don't really use this ability that often.. (sigh) Fine, but don't take it to far.

(Cuts to Rare at her mansion sitting in her hot tub)

Rare: (To herself) I'm so fancy, you already know.

(Don then gets into the mind of Rare and can now control her)

Don: What should I make her do? Any ideas?

Jones: Do something funny! Like make her walk into a wall several times!

Don: (Shrugs) Why not, she looks like she deserves it. (Don makes Rare slam into a brick wall 6 times)

Rare: (In pain) Ow! What the fuck!?

(Jade and Jones laugh)

Don: (laughs) That was worth it.

Jade: Now make her run into a tree!

Don: Or I can make her jump off a tree. If that works.

Jones: I like that! Do it!

Don: Doin' it! (Don makes Rare clime up a tall tree and jump off the highest branch).

Rare: Oh no! (Grabs onto the branch before she falls)

Jade: Ah man! I think she still has some control over her body and brain.

Jones: Like I said, she's still just training.

Don: Well, I could shake the tree.. That should get her to fall...

Jade: You can actually do that?

Don: Well.. I can shake the branch.

Jones: Do it!

Don: Ok! (Don telekineticly shakes the tree branch) Fall... Fall.. Damn it, fall.

Rare: (Struggling) What is going on!?

Jade: (Giggles) She thinks something is going on?

Don: (To Rare) Maybe it's an earthquake, let go and find out.

Rare: (Struggling) No way! I'll break my face! (Loses grip of her right hand)

Don: I'm ok with that.

Rare: Do you know who I am? If my face breaks my career is over!

Don: Good, maybe then we could catch a break from you.

Rare: How dare you!?

Don: I don't think you're in a position to question me.

Jade: She isn't slipping.

Jones: Got any other ideas?

Don: I don't have any that don't include knifes.

Jade: Knives? Sounds fun!

Don: I mean to cut down the branch, not her arm!

Jones: Hold on. (Flies away)

Jade: I know what Jones will do.

Jones: (Flies back in) I'm back, and Rare is now in a hospital, your welcome!

Don: What exactly did you do?

Jones: I punched her in the face and she fell into a hole full of twigs and bushes.

Don: Perfect. Any other ideas for a new target?

Jade: How about some of your friends?

Don: Well.. (Thinks) I still need to get back at Hope for taking my ice cream.. Again.

Jade: Okay, let me try giving out the commands.

Don: Sure.

(Cuts to Hope in the gym punching a dummy bag)

Don: (points to Hope) There she is, what should I make her do?

Jade: Make her punch herself in the face many times.

Jones: That's a good one! (Sips his beer)

Don: (Shrugs) She can take it (Don makes Hope punch herself in the face twice)

Hope: What the fu- (Punches herself again)

Jones: Now make her throw herself into a bunch of mirrors!

Don: Don't you think that's a little harsh? ... But she does keep taking my shit... Fuck it (Don makes Hope run into the mirror in the gym, and break it)

Hope: What the fuck!!? THIS MEANS WAR! (punches the mirror)

(Jade and Jones fall on the floor laughing)

Jones: This is some funny shit! (Uses his telekinesis to throw the shattered glass and have it cut Hope's face)

Jade: Nice! (Continues to laugh)

Jones: No wait! (Uses his telekinesis to drop a giant mirror on Hope's body and crushes her)

Hope: (while being crushed) FUCK ALL THE MIRRORS!

Jones: (Laughs) Okay. (Uses his telekinesis to continue to crush Hope with the giant mirror)

Hope: (Mumbling from being crushed) Mirrors are.... The devil... (passes out)

Jade: (To Don) Well, now you got your payback.

Don: maybe she'll think twice before taking my shit.. Or at least once.

Jones: Well then, what happens if you take your powers to like, an extreme length?

Don... Um... I don't really know how to put this but, SHIT BLOWS THE FUCK UP!

Jones: Sounds fucking awesome!

Don: Not when you could kill everyone within 10 miles. And, gives you head pain.

Jade: Have you ever experienced that?

Don: (Trying to change the subject) So, who's next?

Jones: Alright I see, I've had enough fun today, we have to go anyway.

Jade: You seem really cool Don.

Don: Damn straight. I'll see you dudes again later.

Jade: For sure. (Leaves with Jones)

Jones: (To Jade) See, we found some new friends.

Jade: (To Jones) Well that girl has an interesting secret, and I can't wait to know more about it.

The End


  • Don is now a friend of Jade and Jones.
  • Jade may want to use Don's magic in the future.


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