The Outtakes
The Outtakes
Air date May 2013
Written by YoshiRocker13
Location News Studio
Other episodes by the author

Bad Game

The Nerd meets Rapper

 Dick Figures is a great series. But even this show contains things that went wrong! Join Red and Blue as they bring you a collection of Outtakes from Dick Figures!


  • Red
  • Blue

Minor Characters

  • Pink (From Ocho Muerte and Terminate-Her clips)
  • Lord Tourettes (From Lord Tourettes' Syndrome clip)
  • Earl Gray (From Adventures of Batman & The Bloser clip)
  • Ocho Muerte (From Ocho Muerte clip)


Announcer: And now ladies and gentlemen. We present to you the two greatest characters of all time! One of them is awesome and one of them is boring!

Blue: HEY!

Announcer: Give it up for (drumroll) RED AND BLUE FROM DICK FIGURES!!!

(crowd applauses)

Red: Thank you! Thank you! It's such an honour to be here!

Blue: And we're here to bring you something funny!

Red: Watching you dance naked?

(Red shows a clip of Blue dancing in the shower naked)

Blue: (singing) I am awesome and I am cool! Pink is hot and Red is drool!

(suddenly the curtains reveal Blue naked)


(clip ends and the crowd laughs and Red laughs too. Blue is enraged)

Blue: RED!!! SERIOUSLY!!!???

Red: That's what we were here for, right?

Blue: (slaps Red) NO!

(the crowd boos at Blue)

Blue: Oh come ON!

Red: (punches Blue) Eat fist fucker!

(the crowd applauses)

Red: And now it's time to show you some funny outtakes from Dick Figures! Even we mess things up!

Blue: So take a look at all these exciting outtakes from the show. Roll them!

(shows a clip from A Bee or Something. On the street, Red walks up to Blue with arms undulating.)

Blue: What is wrong with your body?

Red: (Auto-Tuned) Hi, Blue, how you d- (suddenly Red chokes and faints)

Blue: (shocked) Uh can someone get a doctor!?

(clip ends, Blue is laughing but the crowd and Red are not)

Blue: Priceless!

Red: Oh yeah!? How about we show you THIS outtake!

(shows a clip from Zeusbag. Zeus dies inside the volcano)

Red: (laughs) God is dead!

(Blue tries to high five Red, but smacks him in the face instead and they both faint. Suddenly Blue rolls off the edge and screams. A thump noise is heard)

Red: Uh Blue!?

Blue: (hurt) I landed on my balls!

(clip ends, everyone laughs except Blue who has a bored tone on his face)

Blue: Alright funny guy! Let's just show some MORE outtakes from the show!

(shows a clip from Terminate-Her! Blue is shown with a Star Trek Comm Unit and Pink in a giant Bacon Strip costume)

Pink: Hey, Blue!

Blue: Pink? Is that you inside that bacon?

Pink: It's sexy bacon. Do you like it?

Blue: Yeah... you look... crispy. And... delicious?

Pink: (scoffs) I wore this for you!

Red: (calling from side of room) I LOVE BACON! (jumps onto Pink and tries to eat her costume)

Pink: (screams) Get him off me!!!

(next it shows a clip from Ocho Muerte, Blue and Red run out of the building to climb up a rain pipe.)

Blue: Ok, I'll climb up! Spot me in case I fall!

Red: Nah, I'm gonna go eat trash out of the dumpster.

Blue: Why?!

Red: So I can shit out my keys!

Blue: Oh, my God!

Red: Oh, that's where I left that burrito...

(Pink tries to throw a knife at Ocho Muerte, but sends it out the window almost hitting Blue and landing on Red's head.)

Blue: What was that?

(Red pops out of the trash and starts screaming with a knife in his head, blood coming out.)

Red: (screams) GET IT OFFA ME!!! (collapses)

Blue: Uh Red are you alright?

(Next it shows a clip from Adventures of Batman and the Bloser)

Earl Gray: Oh, no, it appears I've made quite a mess. Butlers! (His butlers appear on the rooftops.) Do my dirty work!

(suddenly half of Earl Gray's body rips off with blood coming out. It was shown that a rope was carrying Earl Gray this whole time when acting)

Earl Gray: NOT AGAIN! (dies)

Batman: And our villain is quickly defeated!

Bloser: But dude! That wasn't part of the-

(suddenly cuts to the next scene in the episode where it shows the city)

Batman: (narrating) Crime: It will always haunt this city. But where there are thieves, justice will be watching. Where there are liars, the truth will rise to meet them. And where there are villains, there will always be one hero ready to fuck their shit up. Me.

'(Red is shown on the rooftop with Bloser next to him.)'

Batman: Batman!

Bloser: Are you even listening to me!?

Batman: Aah fuck your lines! Justice-ho! (flies away)'


Bloser: Fuck this. (walks away)

(Finally it shows a scene from Lord Tourettes' Syndrome)

Lord Tourettes: (crying) I think I lost my... FUCK! (hits himself) Gaah! It's hard to say the right lines!

(shows Red, Blue and the crowd laughing)

Blue: And that is all the bloopers from Dick Figures!

Red: Wait! There's still one more funny thing!

(Red shows the clip with Blue naked again)

Blue: RED!!!



What do you think about this episode?

The poll was created at 09:36 on May 8, 2013, and so far 23 people voted.

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