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The Portal

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The Portal
Securedownload-1
Air date April 2012
Written by Stick775
Other episodes by the author

Chasing Ghosts

FIRST, DAMN IT.

 

ORIGINAL SUMMARY: HungryGrox and Stick775 come to the Dick Figure world as STICK FIGURES!


Note: This is a fucking OLD as hell episode. Do not confuse this as the quality (In writing AND drawing) of my newer fanfics, as they are a bit more derper-- I mean deeper. Thank you, hand-- and have a nice live-- life ffs.

-Stick c:

Transcript of Part 1

Red: Blue, guess what today is!

Blue: I don't know, Bug-The-S**t-Out-Of-A-Person day?

Red: No, that was the on the f**king 2th. Today is the day where you Ask What Today is, f**k yeah!

Blue: I don't think there is a single person in this world-- no. There is not a single person in this UNIVERSE annoying as you. Not a god damn single person!

(A portal from "Portal" (OH HEY! HOW ABOUT THAT SHIT?!) opens, where Grox and Stick step out)

Grox: Where the hell are we?

Stick: What's going on?

Blue: Who are you?

Grox: Well I'm HungryGrox and this is my buddy, Dick776.

Stick: That is not my name, and what the hell kind of name is Dick776?

Grox: A gay name. That's why it's yours.

Blue: Never mind Red, These are the most annoying people.

Stick: Grox, you're calling me gay? I'll kick your f**king--. Wait, the f**k was that? Let me do it again! F**k!

Blue: That would be our sensors. This episode supposed to be family-friendly.

HungryGrox: Well that's some gay bulls**t.

Stick: Well its clear what I have to do. I must go to the far beyond to find the sensors and turn them off. Red one, you must come with me on my terribly gay journey.

Red: Let's go motherf**kers!

(They jump through a window)

Blue: *sigh*

Grox: Why are you so down?

Blue: Nah, you'll think it's retarded.

Grox: No I won't, I'll just say a person like Stick would say he was wrong.

Blue: Fine. There's this girl I like a lot. due to the fact that I can't get her makes me, you know, emo.

Grox: Well that no big deal. I'll help you get her.

Blue: I don't know. The last time I got help, it was awful.

Grox: I'm sure with my help, it will be terrible.

Blue: I'm assuming you'll be helping me anyway, so fine.

(Goes to Stick775 and Red)

Red: Where the f**k are we going?

Stick: We're turning off the damn sensors.

Red: What's a sensor?

Stick: Something that blocks you from cursing.

Red: Is cursing like this, f**k.

Stick: Yes. Where we're supposed to find the sensors?

Red: I don't know, let's try that mountain out there. (Point's to Earl Grey's lair on mountain)

(At Earl Grey's lair)

Earl Grey: I have the most brilliant plan ever!

Gerald Butler: What may that be?

Earl Grey: When Red leaves for Las Vegas, we will send him a letter stating: "You are over 30 years old and you must leave the mansion", then it will make sure I'm Miss November!

Gerald Butler: What?

Earl Grey: You do not like it?

Gerald Butler: You dumbass, that's the plot for the movie, " House Bunny".

Earl Grey: Why not we make Red into a werewolf and make him put the world in one piece!

Gerald Butler: That's the plot for "Sonic Unleashed".

Earl Grey: We find the continuum transfunctioner a put it in a car filled with stoners?

Gerald Butler: That's "Dude Where's My Car".

Earl Grey: I can't do anything right!

(Back to HungryGrox and Blue)

Grox: If you want a girl you need to know what to say to her. So let's practice with this girl here. (Points to Stacy)

Blue: Stacy? But she's retarded!

Grox: Perfect, now I want you to say this to her:

(Whispers something to Blue)

Portal

*Whispers*

Blue: (Looks disturbed) Fine.. Hey Stac--

Grox: If your going to say it, you might as well say it with some f**king pride!

Blue: Okay, fine. Hey Stacy, nice ass. (Now disgusted saying it)

Stacy: Oh gee, thanks Blue!

Grox: See? Is it easier than you thought?

(Part ends)

Blue: (Offscreen) I think I'm gonna puke.

NOTE: The whisper was more sexual (:

Part 2

The Portal
Photo
Air date April 2012
Written by Stick775
Other episodes by the author

Chasing Ghosts

THIS IS THE SECOND PART.

 

Blue and HungryGrox eavesdrop on Pink's house while Red and Stick775 find the sensors.

Note: STILL OLD DAMN IT.

-Stick

Transcript of Part 2

Red: Ok, we have to look everywhere we can--

Stick: and if you find anything that's not yours break it.

Earl Grey: Red! What are you doing here? Now who's that stoner with you?

Red: Hey Earl Gray, do you where we can find the sensors?

Earl Grey: Earl Gray, who is this Earl Gray? I'm Earl Grrrrreeeeeeyyyyy!

Stick: Um, all right. Anyway, do you know where we can find the sensors.

Earl Grey: I think it's in the Icy Mountains.

Stick: F**k! (Thinking) Wait a second, is this really worth it? (Thinks Back) Am I retarded, hell yes it's worth it!

(Scene cuts to Blue and HungryGrox)

Grox: I don't get it. Why is it so god damn hard to ask her out?

Blue: I'm nervous that she'll say: no.

Grox: Why?

Blue: 'Cause I don't know if she likes me?

Grox: I got a idea! How bout we find out if she likes you?

Blue: ...

Grox: We go to her house and eavesdrop.

Blue: That sounds dangerous but then again it sounds fun, okay let's do it.

(In the mountains)

Red: It's so fffff**king ffffffrrrrreeezzziiiiiinnngg! (Normal Voice) We need a place for the night.

Stick: Oh look there's a Best Western right there--

Red: No!

Stick: What?

Red: Best Western f**king sucks! we're staying out here and huddle for warmth!

Stick: But--

Red: I know what your thinking and no, this is not gay.

Stick: No, I just wanted to tell you, that my pillow Jacob is sleeping.

Red: Arrraggh! (Takes Jacob)

Stick: What are you doing?

Red: Jacob's mine now!

Stick: Give him back to me!

Red: Oh, you want to play like that? (Gets knife) Fine! Make a move, or Jacob gets it!

Stick: You wouldn't!

Red: Yes, I'd f**king would.

Stick: No. Aragghh!

(One hour later)

(Red and Stick covered with bruises and they're bleeding)

Red: Do you think we got *gasp* carried away?

Stick: Yes.

Red: Maybe, we should stayed at the Best Western.

(At Pink's house)

Grox: Holy s**t, she owns a whole apartment.

Blue: Yeah, she's a full time worker at Maulmart.

Grox: Well no wonder why you f**king liked her.

Blue: Its not just that! Anyway, there's a stairway here, so we can peek into her room.

(In Pink's room)

(From here the sensors are actually disabled)

Pink: Well I was working at the mall and you like, never believed who I saw.

Grox: Well she does have "wonderful" grammar.

Pink: Like I know, like, like, Says "like" to the tune of Mortal Kombat theme

Grox: So this is your dream girl isn't it.

Blue: I don't get it, she doesn't act like that when she's around me. When she's around me she acts like she's in love with me!

Grox: There you go, see there's proof that she likes you.

Blue: Wait when she's around me, she acts like she likes me. Your right Grox! Thanks you're the best!

Grox: Okay, let's get the hell out of here. I think a bird shat on my head like 5 times.

(Folds back to Red and Stick)

(This is earlier than the scene above)

Stick: There it is, inside that cave lies the fourth wall and the sensors. ffs, SENSORS! Now let's go.

(They enter the cave)

Fourth wall: Who dares enter the fourth wall?

Stick: Stick and-- what's your name again?

Red: Sonic the Hedgehog.

Stick: --Sonic the Hedgehog.

Fourth wall: For what reason your here?

Red: To turn off the damn sensors!

Fourth wall: That will only happen if you solve this riddle. If a police is arresting a mime, can they say you have the rights to remain silent?

Red: No s**t they have that! They always have to say that if their arresting a person.

Stick: The point your missing is that it's rarely said nowadays.

Red: Damn it your right. We need to think this one through.

(Some f*-- fucking random place)

Blue: Well, thanks again for helping me out Grox,

Grox: No problem. I wonder were the hell is Stick.

Blue: I would say I wonder where's Red, but as long he's not here I don't need to know.

Stick: Guess who's back?

Blue: Oh you guys are all right.

Stick: Now that the sensors are off, I can say-- (gunshot)

(Stick falls, dead. Not big surprise)

Red: What the hell did that?

Grox: Well I think that's enough randomness for a day.

I guess this is the end. WAIT NO THE END IS NEVER THE END IS NEVER--

Random Facts

  • Stick was originally the one with a mental problem
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The poll was created at 16:27 on April 9, 2012, and so far 30 people voted.

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