|The True Girlfriend|
|Written by||YoshiRocker13, CookieEyes, Fluffydragonpuppy, Mdkid663, Wolf-Loves-Drills|
|Other episodes by the author|
Next Big Step
Science No More
After a long time, Broseph finally asks Wednesday out. Until they were attacked by Emily. Broseph must choose one girl. Who will it be?
- Broseph (and clone)
- Emily (semi-antagonist until the end)
- Midnight Blaze (mentioned)
- Kari (mentioned)
- Professor Stick (mentioned)
(Broseph & Darla are at the park sitting on a bench drinking juice.)
Darla: So long story short, (takes a sip of her drink) Midnight Blaze IS a girl, but she has male reproductive organs (takes another sip) … Do you think I should tell the men that she may, (to the 4th wall) key word: “may”, (to Broseph) have feelings for that red version of Stacy?
Broseph: (yawns) I dunno. If she does then that's what you should tell those boys. (Broseph pops up and stares at Wednesday who walks past them)
Darla: Well, that girl is the only bully Midnight doesn’t bother at all to beat up. I think that’s HAS to be implying something... Whatcha lookin' at?
Broseph: Hey Wednesday. (winks)
Wednesday: (stops and blushes a little) Hey Grey…
Darla: (interested in what’s happening) Oooh!
Broseph: (flirts) So, what's new Wednes?
Wednesday: Well, I was just on my way to Maulmart, mainly just to browse
(Darla leans in becoming more excited)
Wednesday: However, after that, I have to go to a doctor’s appointment, (less enthusiastic) as much as I wish it wasn’t on a day like this…
Broseph: Well I'm sure I'll be catching up with you soon. (wraps his arm around Wednesday as she blushes)
Wednesday: (chuckles) Well, I’ll be seeing you then. (continues walking as she waves at both Broseph & Darla.)
(Broseph sighs as he sits back down on the bench.)
Darla: (hits his arm with her elbow) (whispers) Hey! If you’re going to flirt with her, ask her out or something.
Broseph: (thinks) Gosh I- I've never asked a girl out before. I just flirt with them.
(Emily stares dreamily at Broseph through a window)
Darla: ...Really? If Wednesday likes you that much, then go for it. Trust me, Bro-Bro. I may be aromantic,
meaning I don’t have romantic feelings for anyone at all my entire life, but I KNOW what I’m doing.
(Now, Emily eats an ice cream and dreamily watches Broseph from a bench)
Broseph: Well the thing is, There's another girl who likes me.
(before Broseph could finish, Emily floats in and jumps on Broseph's lap)
Emily: Hi, cutie-pie! (makes puppy eyes at him)
Broseph: (nervous) Uhh H- Hi Emily. (shrugs at Darla) See what I mean?
Ryle: (comes in) (to Darla) Hey, kid.
Darla: (voice rising) WhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoaWHOA! (after a brief pause) Are you telling me THAT is Emily?
Emily: (defensively) In the flesh. What are you doing with my boo?
Broseph: Relax Emily, she's my friend.
Ryle: (to Darla) What's gel boy doing?
(Darla stares for a moment, then she starts to smile a little. She covers her mouth as she blows hard from her nose multiple times. She starts to laugh out loud, eventually falling on her back from laughter.)
Broseph: (to Ryle) Just chillin with Emily. (to Darla) What the fuck is so funny?!
(Emily cuddles closer to Broseph)
Darla: (tries to stop laughing) Th-th-this is the girl who fights with Wednesday over you? A LITTLE GIRL?!
(continues laughing, but eventually takes a deep breath) Seriously, Broseph. (giggles) You can do SO much better, dear.
Emily: I am NOT a little girl. You are.
(Broseph starts to think over his relationships)
Darla: (chuckles) For your information, I am not physically little. I am actually over three hundred years old.
Broseph: Uh excuse me girls. I need to think this through. (gets up and begins to walk home)
Emily: (follows Broseph with tear filled puppy eyes) Come back, honey!!
Broseph: Emily, please. I need to think this through. (walks home)
(Emily sniffs and stops walking)
Grox: (Sitting on a bench near Emily, reading a newspaper) Let me guess, something to do with your "boyfriend", huh?
(Emily gets mad and rips the newspaper)
Grox: Didn't need that anyways.
Emily: (starts sobbing) Broseph said he had to "think something through"!!!!
Grox: Yeah, so? Do I honestly need to remind you that you are 13?
(cuts to Broseph)
Broseph: (walks back and forth in his house) What am I going to do bro? Darla HAS got a damn point. I'm dating Wednesday
and I've got Emily behind my back. She IS underage after all. I don't even know if we'll marry when she's older.
I'm gonna call Wednesday for our first date. (picks up his phone and selects Wednesday to call)
Wednesday: (on the other line) (yawns) Hello?
Broseph: Uh h- hey Wednes, it's me Broseph. I was wanting to ask if you wanted to.. uh... go out on a date?
Wednesday: Mn?... (realizes who it is) Oh Grey! I just woke up from the nap my doctor told me to take… Sure, that’d be nice. (blushes) Where to?
Broseph: I was wondering if you wanted to head to that new fancy resteraunt that opened? And maybe afterwards we watch the sunset?
Wednesday: Sure! I’ll see you there.
(After they hang up, Broseph turns around to see Darla grinning at him while floating.)
Broseph: (nods at her) I did it Darla.
Darla: Good for you…
(cuts back to Emily & Grox)
Emily: he's still cute, and I love him! Grox, I want a Broseph plush!
(cuts to Broseph & Wednesday watching the sunset under a tree)
Broseph: I have to say baby, tonight was a great night.
(Emily peeks at them from the tree)
Wednesday: Yeah. This morning was real busy. I’m glad that after all that, today was worth it.
(Darla watches excitedly from up a tree.)
Emily: (whispers) Darla? What the h!
Darla: (gasps and turns around) (whispers) What do YOU want?
(Broseph & Wednesday laugh with each other as they lean in closer for a kiss. Before they could touch lips, Emily jumps down and stops the kiss.)
Emily: Broseph? You're CHEATING on me!
Broseph: (shocked) Oh crap...
(Emily bites Wednesday angrily and holds on)
Broseph: (shrieks) Uncool bacon!
Wednesday: OW! LET GO!
(Darla sees this and is immediately angered. She floats up and then downwards toward them real fast.)
Darla: (angry) Get away from her, you wanker! (uses levitation to pull Emily off)
(Emily screams and pisses on Darla)
Broseph: (rubs on Wednesday where Emily bit her) Boy Wednesday, that must have hurt.
Wednesday: It doesn't sting...
Darla: (uses a water beam on herself to clean herself) You ought to learn some manners, missy! (throws magical spheres at Emily)
Broseph: (freaks out) What am I going to do?! Emily or Wednesday! (screams) I CAN'T THINK!!!
(Emily shits on Darla)
Darla: (uses a protection spell on herself) Honestly? Is that all you can do? HA!
Emily: (Takes out baseball bat) Don't make me use this!
Darla: Go ahead. Use it. A baseball bat is nothing compared to my powers anyway.
Emily: (hits Wednesday with the bat) Broseph is MY boy, Wednes-gay!!
Broseph: (screams) Wednesday! (suddenly becomes angry) EMILY!! STOP!!!
Emily: BUT I LOVE YOU!!!
(Darla sees Wednesday get hit and she starts to hear static in her mind.)
Darla: (demonic voice) ONE MORE THING LIKE THAT, AND YOU’VE OFFICIALLY CROSSED THE LINE!
Broseph: Enough of that attitude Emily!
Emily: (cries and makes puppy eyes) I know you're going to dump me!
Broseph: (freaks out) Darla! What am I going to do?!
Darla: (with grey cat eyes) (demonic voice) CHOOSE WHO I WANT YOU TO CHOOSE, YOU BLOODY MORON!
Broseph: You mean Wednesday?
Darla: WHO ELSE WOULD I MEAN?!
Wednesday: (recovers) Uhh, Darla, are you okay?
Emily: It's ME!
Broseph: (sighs and walks up to Wednesday) Wednesday.... (sigh) I- I just have to say that I- I- uh.... (sighs)
(Wednesday sighs and prepares for the worst while Darla watches while glaring.)
Broseph: You think I was going to dump you? (grabs her shoulders and pulls her in to kiss her while Darla smiles joyfully) I love ya babe.
(Darla immediately goes back to normal as Wednesday blushes a bit more.)
Wednesday: I…love you too…
(suddenly cuts to Blue & Pink's house where Blue is knocking on the door)
Blue: Emily, please come out! You've been in there for 6 hours!
Emily: (heard crying from behind door) NO!
Blue: Look, I know Broseph dumped you. But do I need to remind you that your 13!?
Emily: I don't care! It's still love!
Blue: Looks like It's going to take a while for her to calm down.
Pink: Emily, I'm sure you'll find someone else!
Emily: (finally comes out and stops crying) You know what, Pink? You're right. I gotta find another boy.
Blue: Is there anyone your interested in?
Emily: I guess not yet. I guess I'll just have to wait for the right one.
Blue: Maybe we could get Prof Stick to clone Broseph?
Pink: (slaps Blue's arm) Blue!
Blue: Oh! Right! Sorry.
Emily: But I want my boo back!! (she makes tear filled puppy eyes at Pink)
Pink: (hugs Emily) I know you do sweetie, but there are things we can't always have.
(suddenly another Broseph walks in the door)
Broseph Clone: Sup ladies?
Blue: (pale) Oh god...
Emily: (squeals and runs to hug the clone) Broseph bear!!
Blue: Well at least she's happy and both Emily & Wednesday have Brosephs.
Pink: (laughs) What am I gonna do with you?
Blue: But wait, how are we going to tell which Broseph's who?
Pink: I'm sure we'll think of something.
(Darla is seen shrinking the clone Broseph to Emily's size)
Broseph clone: Why is this necessary?
Darla: Because, I may not like this Emily person, but Miss Pink says that as a user of magic, I might as well make children’s dreams bloody come true.
Emily: Now everyone will know that you're mine! (Hugs him)
Broseph clone: Well at least I can hang with my bacon.
Emily: If he has sex with me is it still pedophile?
Darla: How the bloody hell would I kno—?! (scoffs) Never mind! Just wait ‘till you’re older!