You wanted to see me?
|Other episodes by the author|
Thomas is asked various questions by his author
(Thomas walks in and sits down)
Thomas: You wanted to see me?
AndrewBrauer: Yes, I just want to ask you some questions.
Thomas: Okay, let's do it.
1. What is your real name?
2. What is your surname
Thomas: Thomas Gellen
3. What are your three most popular nicknames?
Thomas: Assholes like Simon call me Little Bitch.
4. What is your favorite color?
Thomas: Orange, like the tasty fruit.
5. What is your favorite animal?
Thomas: Never really came to mind.
6. What type of animal/race of human/mythical species are you?
Thomas: Are you serious? I'm human!
7. What is your favorite song?
Thomas: Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites by Skrillex
8. What is your favorite band?
Thomas: Don't really know.
9. What is your favorite TV station?
Thomas: I was always drawn into watching MTV, probably because of my sister.
10. What is your favorite pastime?
Thomas: Being the leader of everything in high school.
11. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Thomas: The best doctor in the world.
12. What did you want to be when you grew up when you were 4-7 years old?
Thomas: A dictator, I had some dark futures as a kid.
13. Time to get more wacko and personal… are you intimidated?
Thomas: (Slightly annoyed) It's best not to get me intimidated, you wouldn't like it.
14. Who do you have a crush on / who are you in a relationship with?
Thomas: This girl named Molly, but she loves that british whore.
15. Are you cheating?
Thomas: (Annoyed) Stop fucking with me, next question.
16. Have you ever cheated on someone before?
Thomas: (Mad) Fuck you! (Gets up and punches the interviewer in the face)
AndrewBrauer: Sorry, I didn't know that you are madly in love with her.
Thomas: (Calms down) Okay, I'm sorry. (Sits back down)
17. Do you drink often?
Thomas: I enjoy the occasional beer.
18. Do you smoke often?
19. What is your addiction? We know you have at least one.
Thomas: Always being in charge.
20. What is your naughtiest / dirtiest habit?
Thomas: Let's just say it involves Zelda and quite a bit of shaking in my pants.
AndrewBrauer: (Slightly shocked) Uh, I think you gave me a good idea of what your talking about.
21. What's your sex life like?
Thomas: (Pulls out a handgun) Ask me another question like that and a bullet goes in your head.
AndrewBrauer: Alright! No more questions related to what I just said.
(Thomas puts his handgun next to him)
22. Have you had a recurring dream before?
Thomas: I had this weird dream involving this yellow guy with an odd arm and a dragon voice, and his plans on destroying the world, it's probably just a bizarre story my sister told me.
23. What was the last dream [ you can remember ] about?
Thomas: Hard to tell, I couldn't really remember.
24. Tell me something that could make you smile without fail?
Thomas: A perfect day.
25. What is your favorite thing to drink?
26. What is your master goal in life?
Thomas: The same as my dreams, the best doctor in the world and be with the love of my life.
27. What is your most recent wish?
Thomas: (Sighs) If everyone could understand how I feel.
28. If you could accomplish one thing for yourself or someone else, anything at all, what would it be?
Thomas: Figure out who this guy in my dreams is.
29. Tell me something that you desire that you can't accomplish by yourself; something that someone else has to do for you.
Thomas: Convince Molly to be straight.
30. What is your worst weakness?
31. What is your worst fear?
Thomas: Same as above.
32. Name off five traits of your dream boy/girl?
Thomas: Cute, nice, smart, hardworking, and someone who doesn't want to be like everyone else.
33. What is your idea of the best day ever?
Thomas: Me and Molly wake up and we eat pancakes in bed, next we go to the pier and take a boat ride out to Hawaii and do everything there. We would dance, eat hawaiian bread, and have sex on the beach. Then once the sun goes down we take a flight to Tokyo, Japan and learn martial arts together, we would have a run-in with ninjas and defeat them together, afterwards we would go home and she would be asleep in my arms.
AndrewBrauer: (Sniffles a little) Wow! Didn't know you could have such a romantic.
34. Who is your best friend?
Thomas: I don't really have one yet.
35. Who is your worst enemy?
Thomas: That may take some thinking.
36. Describe to me your most prized possession?
Thomas: My High School diploma, it's prove that I'm smart.
37. If you could make peace / friends with anyone right now, who would they be?
Thomas: I've always wanted to know why Simon was such a jackass.
38. The president announces that the world will come to an end at midnight of the next day, and there is nothing anyone can do about it. Who would you want to spend the last day of humanity with, and what would you do?
Thomas: (Starts to grab his gun) Was that another question involving Molly?
AndrewBrauer: (Nervous) Uh, no, of course not, it's up in the air for whatever your answer can be.
Thomas: Okay, by the way it would be to leave with Molly and hide out somewhere no one can ever find.
39. What is the one thing you desire above all else as of today?
Thomas: (Grabs his gun and fires at the floor) What did I fucking tell you!
AndrewBrauer: (Scared) Thomas, these aren't all related to love, it can be about anything.
Thomas: (Calms down and puts his gun away) Sorry, my desire is to rule the world, for some strange reason.
40. The UPS man leaves a box on your door when you aren't expecting any packages. You open it to find a fancy glass bottle that resembles something between women's perfume and a wine bottle; the label reads "SHALTEIR's Love Liquid." Who do you test it on and how do you sneak it to them?
Thomas: (Laughs for a few seconds) I would test it on that bitch Veronica and then on some other whore like Stacy.
41. You lover / best friend is announced dead via suicide. How do you react?
Thomas: (Angry) KILL THE MOTHERFUCKER WITH MY OWN BARE HANDS!!!
42. You were walking alone through your local park come 11:24pm at night when out of the blue you get tackled from behind. What is you next move?
Thomas: I would grab him by the neck and snap his spine, the guy deserved it.
43. You're having a movie-at-home date tonight. When you go to blockbuster, what are your top three movie options that you and your date would probably enjoy?
Thomas: Award-winning Drama, Sad-worthy Drama, and Romantic Comedies.
44. Back to reality… who are you the angriest at?
Thomas: Simon tends to really push my buttons.
45. What was the scariest moment of your life?
Thomas: The day Molly came out as a lesbian.
46. What was the best moment of your life?
Thomas: Medical School, I'll never forget those days.
47. What was the worst moment of your life?
Thomas: Same as the scariest.
48. What was the saddest moment of your life?
Thomas: (Gets annoyed) You know, I still have my handgun.
AndrewBrauer: Okay, sorry, next question.
49. How do you think you'll die / how did you die?
Thomas: With Molly, we die together in bed.
50. What is your "theme song" – in your opinion, a friend's opinion, or your creators?
Thomas: Mr. Blue Sky, I could listen to that song for ages.
51. Do you have any pets?
Thomas: My sister has a black cat in the apartment we both live in.
52. What is your job?
Thomas: Employee at Ball Busters.
53. What is your nationality?
54. When were you born?
Thomas: February 24th, 1993.
55. How old are you?
Thomas: Can't you figure that out by my birthdate?
AndrewBrauer: Sorry, your twenty one then.
56. What is your weapon of choice?
Thomas: My handgun.
57. How much do you weigh?
Thomas: 142 Pounds.
58. Did you think this quiz was helpful?
Thomas: All it did was make me angry.
AndrewBrauer: (Nervous) So, uh that's it, thank you for taking the quiz.
Thomas: You're welcome. (Gets Up) And you better stay away from Molly. (Walks away)